Things you would like to ban

Please tell us about something you would love to ban from the face of the Earth. It must be a material thing (i.e. not a person or an idea), and you are encouraged to do so with an accompanying rant if you can summon up the energy.

For me, it’s got to be those **** ‘extend-a-leads’ so favoured by sanctimonious and thoughtless dog walkers today. Everyday, twice a day, I ride through Pontcanna Fields, where dog walkers gather in the gazillions and do one of two things:

1. Shuffle along while staring at their phones, and their dog wanders all over the shared-use path, creating a moving booby-trap, similar to the ones you find on MTB trails from time to time.

2. Stand around and talk with other dog ‘walkers’ while their dogs run and play – some of which are on leads; some of which are not – creating a veritable spider web of string, and striking terror into any passing commuter for fear that one of the dogs will cross the shared-use path at any moment.

Either way, the dog walkers are deceiving themselves into thinking they’re doing something beneficial; they are endangering their own animals; and they are endangering all sorts of innocent passers-by.

Ban ’em!

road bikes

I’d like to ban people who blame inanimate objects  instead of  the stupid  people who use them incorrectly.

“not tonight dear”

EVERYTHING!!
The more I look the more I see and the more I see the more it annoys me.

I’m in a monumentally grumpy mood today. I think I need to go and have a lie down in a darkened room. But that will probably annoy me too 🙂

Perfectly good leather boots that are then lined with foam and nylon.

Daily Mail

Takeaways.

I’d like to ban people who blame inanimate objects instead of the stupid people who use them incorrectly.

I knew someone would say this. But you broke the thread rule about people, put in place precisely to keep things irrational and reactive.

People who make arbitrary “thread rules”

Stop oppressing me, man.

Conference calls.

Plastic bottles

ban from the face of the Earth. It must be a material thing (i.e. not a person or an idea)

I’m really struggling. Everything has a place in the world – tracksuit bottoms, Chihuahuas, speakerphones, vaping thingies, ebikes.

I wouldn’t want to ban from earth any of those things, just change or regulate their use.

Gambling. Massive net negative effect on society and individuals.

The Banhammer

Just automatically add them to the killfile. Or invite them to a separate “premium” forum for big hitters.

Insurance companies. Ban them all, the useless, irritating, robbing bastards. Then restart with a better way of doing something like insurance, but not called insurance and not run by money grabbing incompetent scumbags. I had the energy, oh yes.

Corporate lawyers, same comments as for Insurers, above.

Chewing gum, disgusting habit and really annoying when councils spend a forttune on nice stone paving only to have it permanently disfigured by thoughtless idiots spitting their filthy gum onto it. I bet they are the same people who film landscapes in portrait.

Alarm clocks – let your circadian rhythm dictate when you get up.

unrestricted ebikes. motorbikes.

Insurance companies. Ban them all, the useless, irritating, robbing bastards.

….until your house burns down.

Fennel.

Disgusting substance that nobody really likes anyway but insists on adding to dishes in order to appear sophisticated. Literally nobody likes it in reality and if they say they do, I know they’re making it up for it is hideous.

Energy drinks. They give you so much energy that you must throw the empty can on the ground.

….until your house burns down.

It hasn’t yet! But how much I have paid out for the ‘just in case’ privilege?!

Ban, stupid responses to my posts 😀

somewhatslightlydazed

Plastic bottles

I was going to say that as well.

What is it with these things, they wind up in landfill, or the side of roads, and eventually the ocean.

A symbol of our thoughtlessness and arrogance. “The water from the taps tastes bad. I could help fix the local water supply and provide clean fresh water for everyone, or I could solve the problem for myself and **** everyone else.”

San Francisco *has* banned them.

It hasn’t yet! But how much I have paid out for the ‘just in case’ privilege?!

Unlike poor Garry who sits opposite me who is currently enjoying £130,000 of other peoples money to rebuild his house which was destroyed by a fire in September.

It’s you that’s paying for that you mug!

Every cruddy little cafe in every small town called ‘The Coffee Pot’. Every cafe called ‘The Coffee Pot’ is owned by someone who has absolutely interest in coffee. Not people who make a bad attempt to make good coffee, but people who make no attempt at all.

Pugs and other pointless stupid looking little dogs.

Slow drivers- that do 30mph in a 50, or 40 in a 60, where you cant overtake them, and you cant just get in top gear and coast along. They force you into 3rd, using twice as much petrol, or take up all your attention, which you need for the riding. It takes twice as long for all the people stuck behind them to get anywhere, and winds everyone up,what a waste of time and life and money
And do they stop, to pay everyone for all the trouble and expense they cause? No, they just thinkt theyre saving the planet by driving slow
And as for all the superfluous road signs, multiple flashing speed lights, 20mph bolx,adverts, signs, lane markings, sleeping policemen, islands in the middle of the road etc, its a miracle that anyone has any attention left to ride a bike, after driving to the start

Oh, and parking charges!

Ayrshire.

I mean, what’s the point?

you’re right – we should all be driving faster with our minds on something else 🙂

I mean, what’s the point?

It stops Glasgow from bumping into Galloway 🙂

Ayrshire.

I mean, what’s the point?

Tatties.

Religion, then Rangers and Celtic.

Christmas
New year
Bank holidays
Charity
Alcohol fuelled weekends
Private and public schools
Cars
Elite Universities
Religion
Plastic
Pet owners
Trust fund ****
Lawyers
Accountants
Estate Agents
The building of more shit modern housing.
Eurovision song contest
Po faced joggers/roadies
Chewing gum on pavements
Dog dirt on pavements
UK’s incompetent and corrupt political class
Tossers walking around in five a side gear in January
Fat chav molls displaying there tattoos
Beggars
Chuggers
Soap Operas
Parmos
The means test
The poll tax
Football and its obnoxious followers
Golf
Betting shops
Britains army of modern little Hitlers.
All social media
House builders
Evans cycles

I’ll think of some more later.

Leaving engine running while parked up.

It’s on a par with drink-driving as a taboo in Switzerland, but every other fat, Daily Mail reading gammon seems to do it outside my kids’ school.

And yes, I can tell they’re Mail readers because they are reading it with their **** engines running.

Any filming or interviewing of Farage.
Anyone caught near him with a microphone or a camera, instant fine/prison sentence.

Cars that are considerably larger than required for the individual’s or family’s requirements.

Ohh, and parking on pavements.

Plastics.

Public sale of fireworks. They’re explosives for forks sake.
Horses being ridden on pavements and pooing all over them with impunity.
Love Island
Stupid marker pen eyebrows and “aesthetics” salons. Dicks the lot ’em.
Tight blue trousers and brown brogues combo.
Crossbows

TV Beds. Beds with an actual inetgrated TV in the footboard. It might be only one specific thing, but as a place to start it’s a good one.

https://www.dreams.co.uk/beds/tech-tv-beds

I had no idea these existed until recently when a mate showed me round his new house including a TV bed bed contraption. Holy sweet hell – WHY? Just WHYYY?

It just seems to be the pinnacle of the unholy trinity of a cynical culture industry, conspicuous consumption and sloth. Now your kids can be conceived under the blueish glow of the latest series of love island, if one of you can even be bothered to flip over. Nah just order a takeaway on just eat and have that in bed while you have another duvet day. With the world’s knowledge at our fingertips this is where we’ve got to.