Don’t know where you got that top speed from. Every Minor I owned could get up to 70 or a bit more.

I see you spotted my deliberate mistake of conflating mph with mpg.

(whoops)

Bank TV ads. Especially the one with the bloody horses. They should be begging for our forgiveness not telling us that they are friendly, cuddly and helpful.

It’s a bit like the bloody cuddly Shell adverts on radio at the moment. They infuriate me.

On perfume adverts,

Dodgy science and made-up stats on adverts. Like, “in tests, 90% of women agreed that their skin felt softer” (* small print at the bottom of the screen: “based on a survey of 10 women,” and not mentioned anywhere, how many other groups were surveyed before they got the answer they wanted.)

Places like TK Maxx: “Sale: up to 50% off!” Here “up to” renders the claim meaningless, it could be full price and still be “up to” 50% off, they’re just saying that there’s nothing with more than 50% off.

“Only our yoghurt contains Biffidum Madeupium” – yes, because you’ve just pulled that out of your arse.

because you’ve just pulled that out of your arse.

How else would you obtain digestive bacteria?

I’d ban ignorant bigots

I’d ban SaxonRider. Every thread he posts – no matter how <i>apparently</I> innocent and well meaning turns into a gosh awful bigot-bun fight. Its happened so often it can’t possibly be anything other than his intent for that to happen.

The man is clearly pure, condensed, conniving evil and should be launched directly into the sun.

I’d also ban apples because they make my teeth itch.

Cheap screen wash.

Tucking shirts in to jeans. Nobody wants to look like the cast of The Grand Tour or Top Gear. If you do, you have my deepest sympathies. Now get in the sea!

I’d ban SaxonRider. Every thread he posts – no matter how <i>apparently</I> innocent and well meaning turns into a gosh awful bigot-bun fight. Its happened so often it can’t possibly be anything other than his intent for that to happen.

I second that e-motion

How else would you obtain digestive bacteria?

from a Bulgarian peasant of the most vigorous stock

Are we talking national or global bans here?

I’d also like to ban pedant’s.

I’d also like to ban pedant’s.

pedants.

pedants.

I rest my case 😉

Yup, ban pendants.

Ban really long pendants. They get on my tits.

😂

They may be like you, but they are sod-all like me.
How about, instead of banning them, just ban the employment of them (and that Morgan git)? That’d be good.

If an alien came from outerspace and looked at Piers Morgan and you, they’d find very little to distinguish you. You both use the same language that relies on a very limited range of subjects / objects to convey ideas to people. You both behave in a similar way that’s been programmed into you by society, where getting your argument to dominate the other persons is the name of the game. You would find absolutely thousands of things you agree on for every one you don’t (for example, that you need to wear shoes to work, or that girls should go to school, that it’s more normal for men’s hair to be short, or that you don’t get apple crumble for pudding if you’ve been bad, or that drinking alcohol is ok, that scarificing goats is not cool etc).

Really if you can’t even accept the humanity of a somewhat cynical media personality then that’s a bit troubling. What else is subhuman? What ideas mark the cut point?

You’re also absolutely nothing like me, the polar opposite in every single way.. I can read for one thing.

Places like TK Maxx: “Sale: up to 50% off!”

Old blokes who whistle tunelessly in the supermarket. That is all.

I second that e-motion

The Scots are out in force against me. I feel so persecuted. 🙁

Ah Saxon me old Canuck,it’s a sign of affection 😉
(hugzz)

I’d ban Chorizo.

Chewy, salty, lumpy, and annoying.

What’s it even for?

What’s it even for?

It’s actually designed to get in between your teeth and encourage you to floss.

“two times less/fewer” I don’t understand it is that half?

Banjos?

I’d ban Chorizo.
Chewy, salty, lumpy, and annoying.
What’s it even for?

Agreed, but I think it might need to be refined to “Cheap UK Supermarket Chorizo” because I don’t think a self respecting spaniard would feed that to a dog. Good

I’d ban Chorizo.
Chewy, salty, lumpy, and annoying.
What’s it even for?

Paella? Jumbalaya?! Awesome in both! There ain’t a substitute.

Loudspeakers on mobile devices.

Headphones that leak sound.

People in the gym who sit on the press equipment while looking at their phones then claim to be using it when queried.
Lardons – fat people who have to drape themselves over shopping trolleys to make it round the supermarket for a new supply of frozen chips and pizza.

Lardons,bit like Chorizo then.

i’d ban really shit analogies.

I’d ban Chorizo.
Chewy, salty, lumpy, and annoying.

…and Bashful and Doc.

The Fibre One advert, there is simply nothing more annoying on the Earth.

I’d probably ban the snack as well, eating a decent amount of fruit and veg would be a more effective way of dealing with your lack of digestive challenge.

Matt

The One Show theme music.
Holy cow batman, hand me the expanding foam, got some trumpets that need muting.
So loud, so jolly go get yourself flecked with your brass band ensemble

Anything described as “Artisan”
Companies describing their wares as “Curated”
Over fetishising coffee.
Steel bikes, see points 1 & 2.