Sub 10 years old, I was told I couldn’t have a hamster until my goldfish died so I poured some bleach in its tank.

The hamster turned out to be vicious, frequently drew blood and was no fun at all.

I’m finding this thread reassuring. Seems most people have something they wish they hadn’t done when they were younger. I often beat myself up and dwell on openly calling someone at school racist names. Wish I hadn’t been such an ignorant little sh1t.

I’m in the too many drugs camp too!

Raked the back of another boys head during an U13s rugby match, quite deliberately. Very cowardly and still regretted, although as a result I never did anything like it again. He was offside and cheating though.

In no perticular order:
Fighting wih my dad – broke his nose and hes no longer here to say sorry
Stealing from my first job when i was 14 – mum worked there too so it haunts me ((and so it should)mum no longer here to say sorry)
Poaching that pheasant – stopped me getting into the forces (theft of a pheasant)
Drugs and the lack of confidence they gave me during my teens.

Poaching that pheasant – stopped me getting into the forces (theft of a pheasant)

There is a Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?” A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck?

Who knows?

There was a kid in my class for a few years when I was in primary school. His name was Stanley (which to be frank, in Ireland in the seventies was going to be tough for you). He had asthma, which not many kids had. He wore funny shoes (which I now realise was because his family weren’t that well off), walked a bit funny and wasn’t very good at sports. His mum and dad didn’t make him wash that much either. He was psychologically bullied mercilessly. He had also arrived into our school midway through the cycle and so various groups of friends had already been formed and various battle lines drawn. There was one or two of these kids in very school wasn’t there?

One time I felt that he was getting way too hard a time and I tried to stick up for him but I was a shortarse and not much of a fighter so chickened out of any confrontation and never stuck up for him again. He was actually a pretty sound kid and I never helped him out instead too worried that I would mark myself out for a hiding for being his friend.

I dearly hope he’s been hugely successful in life and is laughing at all of us who made his life a misery for those few years he spent in our school. While I wasn’t actively involved in his bullying, I never tried that hard to stop it. I wish I could go back and change that. 🙁

DD, I think we’ve all known that lad, best we can do us make sure our kids know better and do step in where needed.

Lots of things i would never put on the internet, however one of my partners who participated at the time is now a police superintendent.
I will admit to gobbing on Alan Vega (Suicide) when they were supporting the Clash, not a proud moment!

bloody hell you lot were horrible

My friends mum.

Lied… A lot.
Probably caused a lot more trouble than I thought I did.

Chopped off my brothers finger in lawn mower.

Set fire to a girls hair in school.. That was kinda cruel I guess.
And stealing my dads car to drive around the garden. Crashed it in to the shed, and destroyed both car and shed. Also me and my brother set fire to a large field on a very dry summers day.
Other than that, I think I wasn’t too bad.

Fire:
Woods
Hedges
Car
Car
Car
School
Girls hair
School again
Matches is cheap

Amongst others;

Sprinkling a handful of iron filings in the hair of the albino kid in chemistry class, then watching him wonder why his hair was turning orange at break time when he went out in the rain.

Swopping a bagatelle game for air hockey at a Saturday Swop Shop.

I think we need a priest in here to take confessions & dish out a few hail marys.

Was always scared of getting into trouble, but did some horrible verbal bullying as a young teenager. Picked on the easy targets, poor kid, churchy kid etc. also stood by when others were bullies verbally and physically. Have thought about catching up online to apologise…. Never got round to it and not sure how it would be received.

One of my mates stole my girlfriend when I was 14. I was heart wrenchingly devastated.

He had an ’empty'(house party) not too long afterwards and I was still hot under the collar so took my revenge. I did a poo. Froze it. Grated said poo, then subtly sprinkled around his house and especially his room during the party. Everyone then trod it into the carpets during the evening and as it melted it smelt something rotten 😕

Turned out his mum had to replace carpets throughout the whole house to get rid of the stench when she returned which cost her good money, poor lady. Oops. 😳

Now that^ is some serious effort….
Where did you freeze it?
How long did it take?
How did you get it to the party?
What did you use to grate it?

^^^^
^^^^
Words fail me. I thought I was a little shit, but….wow.

Though to be honest, although I never grated one of my turds, me and my best mate did get such a reputation for breaking things/causing trouble at house parties that people stopped telling us about them because they were scared of what we would do to their house.

Now that^ is some serious effort….
Where did you freeze it?
How long did it take?
How did you get it to the party?
What did you use to grate it?

*On clingfilm, in tupperware, in freezer.
*Roughly 6 hours, but I left it longer in fear of discovering a fondant centre.(This may vary according to water content, ideally you want a good sized type 3 stool.)
*In a couple of smaller pocket sized tupperwares.
*Parmesan type cheese grater.

…now get to it 😆

Did some messed up stuff with Lego with a friend. Dark days.

You are Neil off the Inbetweeners and I claim my £5 Evans voucher

Dam Castanea you were one motivated soab. You froze a turd and then grated it! Brilliantly warped, You win at this thread……. so far….

I regret snapping my favourite pencil as I stabbed my older brother in the back after he’d just tormented me mercilessly for what seemed like hours before getting bored and turned his back to walk away.

I loved that pencil.

used to have to share a bed with my younger brother, i couldnt be bothered to get up in the night soo iused to pee on his side of the bed, mum thought he wet the bed till he was 10 hehehe

when i used to have to make sandwiches if the butter was hard i used to chew the butter and spit it onto the bread even if it wasnt for me, wait a minute, i still do that now

heard of someone emptying a margarine tub and pooing in that, then putting the margarine back on top and returning it to the fridge…nasty surprise as it gets low and you want your morning toast. ewww.

minor and cycle related – not changing the freewheel on my BMX when I did some local racing back in the day. Used to get a good start and then drop right back after the first third of the track and end up last as the gearing was way too high. Plus the fact other regular racers were much stronger. I really wanted to do something about it as it knocked my confidence and i knew what the issue was but as a kid I kept looking at it and was unsure how to do this, even though I had access to some tools and could get to a good local bmx shop for the required tools, funded by my paper round.

we had a kid at school who was pretty unpopular. I wasn’t a bully but I’m ashamed to say that in a mob situation I went with the flow. one day in a lunch break we were playing crap tennis (must have been Wimbledon time) and everyone started ‘stinging him up’ with tennis balls. I hit one and hit him right in the eye by complete accident. He never came back to school (his parents moved him) and had to have a load of operations on his eye. I still think about it to this day, and don’t know his name to apologise.. .much as I’d like to. He didn’t ‘grass up’ any of us, reckon he was a much cooler kid than we realised.

heard of someone emptying a margarine tub and pooing in that, then putting the margarine back on top and returning it to the fridge…nasty surprise as it gets low and you want your morning toast. ewww.

That is seriously disgusting.

Margarine on toast!!

Urrrggh!

There are some seriously dirty bastards on this thread* :-/

*If claims are true

Wow, quite the confessional in here!

I stole from the local supermarket when I was a kid (9 or 10) – didn’t get caught but the sense of guilt/shame was incredible and has probably had something to do with the fact that I’ve done little else illegal since!

When I was about 6:
*My father taught at Falmouth College of Art
*I liked Volcanoes and breaking rocks up to see crystals

The head of the department had a house party, my family was invited. I was soon bored, and sat on top of a Cornish hedge looking fr interesting rocks.

I picked up a good sized one examined it and discarded it from my perch. RIGHT ONTO the head of a toddling child – the child of the Head of the Department. Laid him out cold. An ambulance was called. We left. My father had rather a hard time at work for a while after that…

When I was about 15 I suddenly remembered doing it. Asked my father about it – the git sought [justifiable] revenge – told me [an untruth] he said I’d messed the kid up for life!

The only problem with this jape was that he wondered off and forgot to tell me it wasn’t true for a few weeks. I felt bloody awful!!

I did many other things to make his life interesting too…. 😉

hahah castanea you win! Takes the term “crop dusting” to a whole new level 😆

The worst thing is so e of the stories have made me laugh a fair bit!

I did a fair few silly things as a kid / teenager, some worse than others but generally I don’t I was that bad. I never mucked around with drugs or got into fights or was a bully.

One of my friends had a girlfriend who was always having house parties because her folks were never about. Two of my other mates really hated her for sone reason so thought it would be funny to by a trout and hide it in the kitchen. They put it on top of one of the kitchen cupboards and pretty soon it started to smell pretty rotten. This obviously caused a lad of grief fir the girl in question and I feel bad fir never telling her what it was, where it was or who did it.

At one of said parties, one of the lads who hid the trout fell asleep / passed out and I was the ring leader in drawing on his face with a permanent marker…all the usual stuff; Hitler tash, glasses and a massive man sausage on his forehead. The poor guy had a driving lesson first thing the next morning and couldn’t get it off! The girl’s mum was trying to scrub it off with a scourer. The poor bugger had to endure a two hour driving lesson with all of that on his face. Luckily he saw the funny side.

One if my worst moments of judgement was taking a BB gun in the school bus. Egged on by a mate, we shot a couple of people with it which landed us in a whole heap of trouble. This was shortly after the Dunblain shootings so not good timing. I very nearly got expelled for that but just ended up with weeks of detention. My sister bore the brunt of the BB gun too (before it was taken off me).

Other than that it was the usual stuff like mucking girls about, being an idiot with bangers and fireworks and throwing snowballs at moving cars (and hiding when they stopped).

putting some chili seeds up my sister’s nose when she was 5 or 6.
Seeing her cry like that makes me feel bad still.
breaking my front teeth trying to do nose manuals on a bmx when I was 8.
Had various implants done since then, at great cost and pain.
Running away from home, I got on the eurostar to paris, then a train to turin,then another to central italy to see my dad in Italy when I was 15.
My mum was right.
most of all I regret not having confidence in myself.

Many things in the rich tapestry of growing up .
Pushed my brother down a flight of stone steps and smashed his head open . Lots of Claret.
Launched a cricket bat at a foxhole ( playing war ) just as Timothy Luker poked his head up. More Claret .
Set fire to a large bonfire at the local Scout campsite , maybe 4 hours before the Scouts wanted it lit. Retired to a safe distance and heard ‘ Somebodys lit the campfire ‘ .
Got into some trouble at school with knives , air pistols , fire extinguishers , water bombs , cigarettes, alcohol, all the usual stuff really .