- The Perfect Murder
Simply place the victim on a bicycle and run over them with a car.
Freely admit to it, but say the sun got in your eyes, there was a bee in the car, and besides the victim wasn’t wearing a helmet, neck brace or a full body flouro-suit.
Expect a small fine, but still much cheaper than a hitman.Posted 4 years agowwaswasSubscriber
pick a morning with low sun in the sky and hit a cyclist. Claim you were blinded by the sun but carried on driving anyway.
Obviously it has to be someone you’ve never met or have any connection with but people seem to get away with this all the time.
[Edit: beaten to it]Posted 4 years agofranksinatraSubscriber
There was a very clever BBC murder programme a while ago with David Tenant.
He contaminated someone who was allergic to shellfish and that meant they died from an allergic reaction. He then set things up so that he had reason to be there so didn’t need to worry about CCTV, alibi etc. It was a lot more clever than that but it certainly made me realise that the perfect murder is possible if you are clever enough.Posted 4 years ago
I’ve got a wood chipper you can borrow?Posted 4 years ago
Mogrim, someone in particular. I think I’m going to knit a voodoo doll of her and just stab that!!
Pathetic really, she’s a really nasty piece of work, girl I knew at school, seems to make it her business to make my life shit occasionally. stuff she’s been saying to some people that I know really wound me up. I know I should let it go, but she really does deserve a slap!!
Why are people like that?Posted 4 years agomogrimMember
Mogrim, someone in particular.
That makes it a lot harder, after all the police would soon find out that you know her, which would make you a suspect. Run her over in the supermarket car park would probably be the best bet, it’s a tragic accident, maybe a couple of years + record?
Voodoo doll would be therapeutic and safer, though!Posted 4 years agothegreatapeMember
If perfect is not getting convicted, then evidently it is, given there are a number of unsolved murders. Of course for many/most (?) of these the culprit will be known, but insufficient admissible evidence or legal issues prevent conviction. Body not required for conviction – Arlene Fraser, Suzanne Pilley.Posted 4 years agonatrixMember
If you are dumping a body you need to make sure that it’s not somewhere that people walk their dogs, dogs are forever finding dead bodies. The overgrown verge of a motorway would be good, or just wrap it up in an old carpet and take it down the tip.
Has anybody seen that plastic skull for sale in newsagents at the moment for 99p?? http://www.howyourbodyworks.co.uk/
I was so tempted to buy one and leave it half buried in a pile of leaves in the woods 😈Posted 4 years agogoggMember
“You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece.
Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig.” ”Posted 4 years agomarcus7Member
the alternative to murdering them is to ignore them…. as you get older you realise this… I’m certain there are many people that say a lot about me, do I care? no, why? really can’t be arsed to worry about it. seriously I’m a generally content and happy guy who has a positive view on the world ( unlike some on here) and life really is too short to stress about minor stuff. get a bit of perspective and murdering people becomes less important 😉 .Posted 4 years ago
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