Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 48 total)
  • The origins of Christmas…
  • bigmountainscotland
    Free Member

    Banksy’s latest artwork has got me thinking about the origins of Christmas…

    Criminalbo

    Beyond the questions it raises about the current situation in the holy land, what did folk get up to before a book told them to worship some poor dude who got nailed to a cross?

    And more importantly, how many gallons of booze have been consumed in the name of Jesus over the years and what are he and his dad doing to clean up all the mess left by such a festival of consumption?

    seosamh77
    Free Member

    The summer soltice is around the 22nd of december. around this period the sun is at it’s lowest in the sky.

    It’s not until around the 25th that the sun starts to rise in the sky again.

    I’d say the origins are something to do with that. Basically spring’s on the way back.

    scotroutes
    Full Member

    I

    B

    T

    L

    Two bannings and a flounce.

    chewkw
    Free Member

    Two bannings and a flounce.

    😄

    nickc
    Full Member

    It’s a Roman festival, one of the Emperors, (can’t be bothered to look up which one) got well into his Sun worshipping cult, and made everyone celebrate the festival in Midwinter, I think the God was called Saturnalia. Plus most “Barbarian” tribes had a mid winter festival as well, after all, who wouldn’t?

    chewkw
    Free Member

    It’s a Roman festival, one of the Emperors, …

    Slight historical distraction …

    I was surprised that Romans were in Indonesia (recorded in Roman history) during one of the most powerful SE Asia empire in those days. Apparently several thousands Romans & other westerners were settling there for sometimes until the local revoked.

    thepurist
    Full Member

    I was surprised that Romans were in Indonesia

    And what did the Romans ever do for Indonesia?

    chewkw
    Free Member

    And what did the Romans ever do for Indonesia?

    Trading and forming alliances …

    Drac
    Full Member

    It’s a Roman festival, one of the Emperors

    Yule be shocked to hear there’s more than one theory. Anyway there’s about 20 threads where this is discussed already.

    thestabiliser
    Free Member

    Was invented by Derek Christmas, the inventor of tinsel, in order to grow the market for tinsel.

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Christmas was invented in 1846 by a Swiss engineer named Gustav Christmas.

    He wanted something to occupy  his wife, Mary, during the long winter months.

    chewkw
    Free Member

    He wanted something to occupy his wife …

    “Occupy” his wife?

    What is that?
    In what way does “occupy” his wife mean? 😀

    MarkBrewer
    Free Member

    BigButSlimmerBloke
    Free Member

    Was invented by Derek Christmas, the inventor of tinsel, in order to grow the market for tinsel.

    Are you sure? I thought it was Jonathon Christmas-Tree whose family had bred an unusual but pointless plant and was looking to find a way to sell these plants. And that the marketing was done in conjunction with J Edgar Hoover whose family had developed something which hoovered (with a bit of a fortunate coincidence on the verb) up the mess left by these pointless plants

    slowoldman
    Full Member

    Oh and when did it become a festival aimed at kids?

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    About ten seconds after three dudes on camels got all gifty with the ickle baby Jeebus.

    shermer75
    Free Member

    It’s a portmanteau of the words ‘Christ’, referring to Jesus, and ‘massively cynical commercial enterprise’

    imnotverygood
    Full Member

    Nobody ever says what they actually did with the Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh. More Christmas tat going straight to Landfill.

    Drac
    Full Member

    Oh and when did it become a festival aimed at kids?

    Is it?

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    There is some historical dispute.

    One of the Gospels that didn’t make it had the mother of Jesus named as Louise.

    And the three gifts were Coke, Hookers and a Shockwiz.

    Two out of three ain’t bad…..

    seosamh77
    Free Member

    imnotverygood

    Member
    Nobody ever says what they actually did with the Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh. More Christmas tat going straight to Landfill.

    Mary most likely Mary went straight to the pawn shop, then bought and pram and a years supply of nappies. I think it’s doubtful she planned the immaculate conception, so the gifts were most welcome I’d guess. 😆

    mattyfez
    Full Member

    Mary was a dirty little slut, wasn’t she?

    I feel sorry for Joseph.

    kimbers
    Full Member

    The biggest pre-historic archaeological deposits from feasts, including at stonehenge, are from midwinter solstice (can tell by the foods eaten & condition of animals slaughtered) rather Han summer solstice.

    We need a blow out in these long dark cold months

    That’s older than Jesus & probably older than any religion

    alpin
    Free Member

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia?wprov=sfla1

    And before that Yule.

    Many “Christmas” traditions date back way further than 2000 years. In fact Christmas has only been celebrated since around the 5th century.

    The Germanic Krampus has been around since pagan times and was the Christian inspiration for the devil.

    Three Kings is the three days either side of the solstice where the location of the setting sun doesn’t appear to move on the horizon.

    It’s all bollocks.

    MrSparkle
    Full Member

    I heard it was an early Germanic festival to celebrate the sighting of the second largest planet in the solar system. Traditionally much beer was drunk.

    Saturn. Ale. Ja!

    mattyfez
    Full Member

    Of course it’s all bollocks!

    It doesn’t take a literary genius to figure out that something made up, translated and reinterpreted several times over millenia might not be acceptable or accurate.

    Happy Tuesday!

    SaxonRider
    Full Member

    Good grief. I’m too tired, and filled with alcohol to offer a coherent answer.

    Yule be shocked to hear there’s more than one theory. Anyway there’s about 20 threads where this is discussed already.

    Thanks for saying so Drac. You saved me the effort.

    P-Jay
    Free Member

    Mary was a dirty little slut, wasn’t she?

    I feel sorry for Joseph.

    I’m lead to believe (by the Film Snatch) that the ‘virgin’ part of the Virgin Mary meant she was unmarried, not well… the obvious.

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Mary was a dirty little slut, wasn’t she?

    I feel sorry for Joseph.

    Classy.

    I’ll be sure to show this post to everyone at church tonight. We’ll all have a good laugh.

    Merry Christmas

    Lawmanmx
    Free Member

    senorj
    Full Member

    thestabiliser
    Free Member

    The three kings are, of course, Stock, Aitken and Waterman and their gifts to humanity are symbolically the members of bananarama

    Northwind
    Full Member

    bigmountainscotland

    Member

    Beyond the questions it raises about the current situation in the holy land, what did folk get up to before a book told them to worship some poor dude who got nailed to a cross?

    Well, first of all remember that much of christianity predates christ. Besides that, it’s not all that well understood, or at least not well proven- history’s written by the winners so we know there were a load of different jewish sects, zoroastrians, possibly yazidis (opinions differ, present day yazidism is much more recent but they’ve sort of overwritten themselves multiple times so even their own history is completely garbled and mingled with other faiths and the continuity is all broken)… Possibly mithraism as a standalone or maybe it’s just stuff that looks like mithraism. Moabites probably. Without a doubt lots and lots of little cults, household gods, ancestor spirits, older faiths that were already basically forgotten, though we can kind of only find the absence where they were.. World was much bigger then, only the strongest ideas would travel more than a few days’ ride away, but lives were short so generation changes happened fast and spoken traditions evolved way faster than you’d think. And people didn’t see the hard lines that we do now, you would find people praying to christ and sacrificing to athena.

    But tbh it all gets a bit meaningless because of the way cults grew, ate each other and got eaten in turn- there’s probably a hundred faiths that would consider themselves unique, that now we just see as part of judaism and islam, or which got entirely subsumed or destroyed and forgotten, and there’s no possible line in the sand where you can go “this is modern christianity as we know it, whereas that is a forebear” or “this part of christianity grew from scratch while that part was nicked from somewhere else”.

    Christianity itself is almost certainly made out of previous sects and cults that either got organised and merged, or decided to fall in with the new boy, the likelihood of a new movement coming out of nothing is incredibly unlikely even if there was a literal son of god (lots of hellenic jews converted to christianity frinstance because they were already kind of outcast and also quite progressive and outward-looking) and there were tons of strands of faith that outlived the birth of christianity but which could easily have got drawn into it, but then got folded into islam (especially as islam was at the time incredibly open to deviation and variation- which eventually solidified into the modern islamic factions) And the line between judaism and christianity was pretty damn thin and again pretty much impossible to draw, especially once you’ve got new kids on the block declaring themself king of the jews.

    I always like that the qu’ran specifically refers to jews, christians and zoroastrians as being All Right With Us- “people of the book”. “Well it’s not THEIR fault that the prophet didn’t arrive til after they’d had to settle on a faith after all”. Good marketing- if you launch a new religious product and you make it incompatible with the old ones, you might get lucky and have it rise to dominance like bloody stupid boost axles, but more likely you get crushed beneath the stronger products’ sandals, and tomorrow not only will hardly anyone have you but you won’t even be able to get the parts.

    (disclaimer; I just find this stuff fascinating, I’m no sort of scholar. But it’s really obvious when you look at the actual scholars, that they don’t agree on everything and many of the key lines are basically decisions of faith themselves)

    kayak23
    Full Member

    Nobody ever says what they actually did with the Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh

    Made a gift set innit.

    gordimhor
    Full Member

    The Origins of Christmas… Aw FFS they’re not making a prequel are they 😊

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Nobody ever says what they actually did with the Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh

    played with the box

    BillMC
    Full Member

    It has been suggested that the red and white comes from not Coca Cola but Fly Agaric, popular winter repast for far out Nordic tribes. Yule functioned to get people through the harsh winter with a bit of a blowout, the RC church calculated that JC was born in the spring but switched it to Dec to facilitate recruitment and add bums to seats. They also made it more popular by giving him a Spanish name. True story.
    By far the most fun early form of getting your rocks off was Baccanalia, far too risque to discuss here but lets say despite fierce opposition from the rulers, the cult survived for 1000 yrs and made many people very happy. They were bashing the bishop long before the advent calendar.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Christianity itself

    Is a bunch of sects even today. But most of them are from funny countries with weird names so we can forget about them.

    Merry Christmas you nerds 🙂

    Northwind
    Full Member

    Aye, fair point, after all in the UK christianity is a totally united monolith 😉

    dudeofdoom
    Full Member

    Hmmm this Myrrh thing what’s it all about.

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