No name change, the stigma of depression and mental health issues shouldn’t be hidden.

I’ve suffered for years, on and off. For me work based stress came to a head in June. I was signed off work for a month and decided to go back on medication. It’s helped, but instead of a dark, black hole, I’m now numb. Well, not entirely.

My Wife cooked my favourite beef, ginger, and pepper noodles tonight. It’s the first time I’ve “tasted” food for as long as I can remember. I cried.

If you’re suffering don’t pull up the draw bridges, lock the doors, don’t answer the phone. Talk to someone. Reach out to long lost mates. Do something. You’re not the only person who feels like that.

Well done for speaking out.

3 months off earlier this year, kept under control with Citalopram, currently in a much more stable place.

I’ve been bitten by its little brother anxiety. Its a new thing for me and its effing horrible.

Back to the head doctor when i get home.

Im sure you are aware that medication for depression is notvreally a cure but a treatment. It helps you remember what its likevnot to be depressed and gives you breathing space to find your way out.

Personally I am big fan of person centred counselling . Imo talking therapies are a good route to take.

If its related to stress then you have to either reduce the stress or find coping strategies.

Good luck

With you.

Can’t decide if it’s that or anxiety. Though probably both.

Don’t really much talk about it and I try and compartmentalise bits of my life so I can function. However currently that tactic is not working at all.

Big black dog for me. Won’t go into too much detail, but it’s horrendous. Going through a divorce and pretty much every institution is set up against us males. I’ve been in and out of police stations, courts and my businesses have been pretty much decimated. I’m not quite homeless, but my ex wife is living very pretty in the home I bought and earning more money from me than the vast majority of folk….she doesn’t work and never really has. My child maintenance is horrendous and is absolutely killing me.
Pretty much a black hole for me. Things have transpired where my friends are no longer my friends, fortunately still have family here for me. Hit the alcohol quite hard end of last year and earlier this year, just trying to ease back to normal now.
Have done a CBT based therapy but really didn’t get a good deal out of it, it did include weekly calls with a “coach” but didn’t feel like a therapist. Life has continued to drag me further into the mire during the counselling and I’ve no idea where I’m at now.
Been on Propanol for about a year. Has helped a bit. For me it’s not just the here and now, it’s the bleak future. I’ve lost just about everything, not just financially, but also my daughters.

I guess we are all in different places. The counselling helped to stop me beating myself up over what has happened, but it doesn’t help with the bleak future.

I know I’m very fortunate, good career and have parents and brother still around for me. But, it’s still **** hard.

I do talk to my brother a fair bit about things. But being typically British he’s very much “things will sort themselves out in the end” kind of guy. I now try to not burden him.

I do also keep thinking of the mantra about how others living in this world are so much worse of than me. However my brain is so fried I come back with 100 different arguments as to why that is just rubbish.

Best of luck OP and to others on similar situation.

I’m struggling at the moment. Been on Citalopram for over eight years now. Feel very numb to life and it’s not a good feeling. Tried coming off a few years ago but became very down and ended up back on. This time of year when the nights draw in is particularly difficult. I just feel like I’m a passenger in life with no control and little interest in anything. Best of luck to you all.

I don’t mean to be flippant, but it’s good to talk

Personally I am big fan of person centred counselling

TJ+1; this is intended to get at the root

Have done a CBT based therapy…snip

This tends to be the GP response and is a coping mechanism, consider it while looking for a counsellor
TJ+1; medication can help to give you some headspace “to find your way out.”
Don’t look for a counsellor by price (you’ll wait a while on the NHS), look for someone who suits you. There are professional bodies, e.g. British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy that you can search https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/how-to-find-a-therapist/
Best of luck and keep talking

Yup it’s a b***%#d !!! Had a rough ride on and off 8 years now 🙁

Keep fighting the fight you’re not alone. I quit my job on Friday(have new one lined up) I reckon my job was the main culprit(dealing with public 15 years 🙁

Anyway I’ve never felt better/more positive going forward. Still on meds and hoping to reduce them over next year or so(with doctors consent)

I sympathise. Going through what looks like the opening phases of a divorce so I’m also in a bad place right now. Living abroad with absolutely no support network here makes it worse too.

Totally agree with the OP; sharing experience helps more that those that are able to respond.

Depression and anxiety for me. Been on Citalopram for several years and I believe it does work. Interesting to read up on what it does and why.

I also have weekly counselling and spend time talking with my wife and also thinking and just working stuff out.

I started my own post a while ago after I started my own blog and have learnt so much about my self that I’ve come along way since then.

That said Winter blurrrgh…with an injury that keeps me off the bike…not looking forward to it.

TBH theres really not a lot you can do about it. Any ‘cure’ is simply a change of thinking, so if you get into the mindset that theres little can be done other than take a deep breath and get on with things, thats probably the best solution.

While Joey was alive, she struggled with depression, and used to drink to try to deal with it. She hated using medication, because it left her with almost no feelings at all. I was doing a fair bit of background research into new treatments that are now being seriously studied using microdosing psilocybin and other similar psychoactive drugs, combined with counceling, and results appear to be highly promising, but I’m not sure if there are any trials taking place in the U.K. at the moment.

Here are two articles that run consecutively, one on using psilocybin for alcohol abuse, the second about using ketamine for depression, but alcohol abuse is often tied to depression, as it was with Joey, so there do seem to be links with both substances. There have been some studies that have shown that psychoactive drugs can repair damage to brain synapses as well, Joey’s depression deepened after she suffered a brain haemorrhage fifteen years ago, in an area linked to depression.

I had real hope I could find a way to bring back the girl I first met nearly thirty years ago, but sadly it wasn’t to be.

These new treatments may be the first routes to providing a real, significant working treatment for depression.

https://www.inverse.com/mind-body/psilocybin-therapy-reduces-heavy-drinking

Psychedelic Drugs’ Therapeutic Potential for a Range of Psychiatric Disorders

Another piece of research I’ve just come across that may be helpful…

https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/ketamine-for-depression/

I can’t stress this enough – pick 3 therapists local to you from the site mentioned earlier – https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/how-to-find-a-therapist/

Have an appointment with each one to see who you feel most comfortable working with, then give yourself 6 months with that therapist once a week.

Pick a time that means it’s easy to come home afterwards and do nothing except potter about. Don’t set the appointments at a time that means you have to go to work afterwards.

Yes, you’re going to have to stump up some cash for this, the NHS waiting times are too long, but a lot of private therapists are flexible on their rates if you’re short on cash at the moment.

You’d pay to see a good physiotherapist if you had a persistent pain that was stopping you riding, so why not see a good psychotherapist if you’ve got a recurring depression?