Honorable efforts above, but this one wins:

Someone always playing corporation games
Who cares they’re always changing corporation names
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page

Marconi plays the mambo, Listen to the radio
Don’t you remember?
We built this city, We built this city on rock and roll!

It’s just another Sunday, in a tired old street
Police have got the choke hold, oh then we just lost the beat

Apparently, Bernie Taupin’s partly responsible for this lyrical toss fail. 😐

The story goes that he and the future Mrs Clapton were about to head out for a party, she took ages getting ready, looked fab when all dolled up, and was nice to him all evening.

That’s the story, anyway….

Eric’s Diary 7th September 1976
Off to a party with Macca, but flipping Patti took ages to get ready. Honestly, women! 20 dresses but nothing she could possibly wear, not a thing! She looked ace once done, it has to be said, but I’d got bored and started hoovering my way through the drinks cabinet. Anyhow, got there 2 hours late, a bit pissed, got completely plastered with George, and I rather lost track of things after that. d Patti got really shirty with me, grabbed the car keys, and shouted at me when I was sick in the car. Made me sleep in the spare room, too. I promised to write a song about her, to make up for it.

She liked it, thank heavens. Not a great tune, to be honest. I’ll probably stick it out as a B side or something.

when I was sick in the car

I know the feeling. Happens to me every time “Wonderful Tonight” comes on the radio.

Does it all being true make the lyric better or worse, I wonder..?

For CountZero – Hank Snow’s Box of Pine on the 7:49

A Mother wrote a letter asking how much longer must I wait
Before you send my boy back home to me
For my eyes are growing dim and I’m longing for my Jim
Please hurry up and let my boy go free.

The warden read the letter and a tear fell from his eye
Sitting down he wrote her this reply
There’s a little box of pine on the 7:29 bringing back a lost sheep to the fold
There’s a valley filled with tears as the train of sorrow nears
The night is dark and the world is growing cold

There he’s taking his last ride
Down the trail no more he’ll roam
On his face there is a smile
He know he’s going home

The church was filled with people as the organ softly played
On their knees the congregation prayed
As they softly sang a hymn for poor widow’s Jim
For he’s happy for he?s going home to stay

Yeah, but what you lot don’t get (sorry, I do go on about this) is that at least Clapton’s piss poor lyrics are about something! Beddingfield’s is not! Oh, I’ll write a song, what shall I write it about? Ooh I know I’ll write a song about writing a song! How moronic can you get?!

“So I stopped sharking for a minute, to get chips and drinks”

ladies and gents I give you Mike bloody Skinner.

So stuff he does is ok, but mostly it’s drivel.

How moronic can you get?!

I’d rather listen to moronic nonsense (the aforementioned Joy Divison Oven Gloves at least made me laugh when I looked up the lyric).

This, true or not,

She’ll put on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair

makes me weep.

Of course, in the 1970s Clapton and parties used to go together like gin and tonic. It’s said that he was at another party, got pissed (again), confessed to the then Mrs Harrison/future Mrs Clapton (as well to George) that he was rather rather keen on her, and played them the outlines of a song he’d written about Pattie.

Considering that fact that this one song – Layla – essentially made Clapton his fortune, you’d have thought he’d have been reasonably generous financially when they split up. Sadly not the case.

Bermuda Triangle
Makes my woman disappear
Bermuda Triangle Don’t go too near
Looking At it from my angle
Do you see why I’m so sad
Bermuda Triangle Very bad!

Or all of Copa Cabana.

Also, that Country list seems to have omitted the best bad C&W song of all time:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsWg0bt9kp4[/video][

I’m a bit reluctant to post this as it will kill what was quite an enjoyable thread.

These are the worst lyrics ever.
No discussion. No competition. Simple.

Heart’s “All I want to do”.

So we found this hotel,
it was a place I knew well
We made magic that night.
Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me,
so many times, easily
And in the morning when he woke all
I left him was a note
I told him
“I am the flower you are the seed”
We walked in the garden
we planted a tree

So bad they actually cause physical pain.

Just heard Ghostbusters and the “I ain’t afraid of no ghost” line makes little sense as most people wouldn’t be afraid of no ghosts.

I’m a bit reluctant to post this as it will kill what was quite an enjoyable thread.

These are the worst lyrics ever.
No discussion. No competition. Simple.

Heart’s “All I want to do”.

So we found this hotel,
it was a place I knew well
We made magic that night.
Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me,
so many times, easily
And in the morning when he woke all
I left him was a note
I told him
“I am the flower you are the seed”
We walked in the garden
we planted a tree

So bad they actually cause physical pain.

I have to admit that this may be a winner! Wince-inducingly terrible throughout, but the “I am the flower, you are the seed” is the real low point.

Don’t be silly Nick, I already won.

DezB +1 for the Spandau lyric. Another in the same vein is:
Gonna write a classic
Gonna write it in an attic
Baby I’m an adict now
An adict for your love
Adrian Gurvitz. Bleh.
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwL2Yl1_SE&feature=related[/video]

^^ he knows

Well, if we want to mine the depths of C&W there is always this nugget of intellectual and philosophical reflection…

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgyeshD8RJY[/video]

“pink, it’s like red but not quite”

Pink, Aerosmith

U2’s “Hello, hello, I’m in a place called Vertigo” always makes me squirm. 😡

I love Joy Division Oven Gloves, makes me smile every time I hear it. HMHB are genius at writing mad lyrics that somehow manage to convey a story and meaning. They’re playing Bath in September, I’m determined to go see them this time around.

Think it was Janet Jackson and Luther Vandross…

“You say it twice, I say it thrice, my baby, baby, baby…”
always ranks as my worst lyrics I’ve heard.

ranks as my worst lyrics I’ve heard.

So it’s not just me then – I have always thought exactly the same. I find that line totally cringe inducing as it’s clearly such an amateurish use of rhyming words – no one talks like that, and it’s just embarrassing.

Has nobody mentioned the cranberries?

With a Smith & Wesson 38
John Lennon’s life was no longer a debate
He instinctively knew it wouldn’t be nice
But in 1980 he paid the price

Beyond parody, surely

Two more recent songs:
I quite liked the Fergie song Big Girls Don’t Cry, until it reached the line “And I’m going to miss you… like a child misses their blanket”

Also Ed Sheeran’s A-Team, what the heck was he thinking with the line “But lately her face seems slowly sinking wasting, crumling like pastries“

Seriously, two quite nice little tunes ruined by two really odd and out of place lyrics!

But anyway, the song that really annoys me is that terrible Blondie one, Debbie Harry.

“Maria, you oughta see…. her”.

Terrible ! And no excuse for cramming her wrinkly body into that dreadful corset, took so long to get that on never bothered to write the song properly

Well you can shut up now, Vyvyan Hels. You can just about blummin’ well shut up! Because if you’ve got anything horrid to say about Felicity Kendal Debbie Harry, then you can just about blummin’ well say it to me first!