Tell me about… inconvenient injuries

NOT HERE!

You need to email me!

hannah@singletrackworld.com – please include your forum name so I can attribute the tale in the mag!

I want people to be able to read your entertaining tales in a future magazine, so to keep the pages fresh, please resist the urge to share your Trail Tales of Inconvenient Injuries here.

What we’re looking for is NOT the massive crashes, obvious skills deficits and maximum gore. Instead, we want the more ridiculous – and inconvenient – side of things. The tiny little splinter in your thumb that meant you couldn’t use your dropper. The car park tumble after nailing every double black trail at the bike park. The slip in the shower before Day 1 of the week-long foreign stage race. That sort of thing.

Cheers!

Loving the idea.👍😁

You got mail

Second Brazilian jiu jitsu lesson on Wednesday, ripped a slightly over-long big toe nail in half scrambling about and bled on the mat. 🙁 Prolly gonna give tonight a miss as it’s a bit sore.

Posted in here as I wanted to share but felt it’s likely not quite what the mag is looking for. 🙂

YGM. (TBH, its bike AND mechanical disaster combined!)

If you check the STW archives, I wrote an article called “The Hard Way to become a Poet” that gave about 1/2 a dozen of my early injuries. After that they got a bit more serious, still inconvenient, but a bit of blood and gore involved.

Most of mine have not been bike related so no point emailing.

Cut the top of a thumb off with an incredibly sharp knife opening mail. Absolutely rinsed when I had to have it glued back on and one of those thumb dressings. Lads absolutely rinsed me.

Failed to secure a heli-abseil harness properly and crushed a bollock, my sack was the size of a girthy avocado for a while. Much to the mirth of my colleagues.

Opened a door into my face, stone cold sober and split my eyebrow open and promptly covered myself in blood. The door was to leave the waiting room to go for my truck licence test.

Decided to be ‘ard’ and not wear eye-pro (before more recent times when it became mandated) when getting a flight in a US Blackhawk in Bosnia, got grit in my eye, promptly rubbed it and scratched my cornea. Spent 10 days with an dressing/eye-patch on and endured much piss-taking by my buddies.

Opened a door into my face, stone cold sober and split my eyebrow open and promptly covered myself in blood.

Reminds me of the time I cracked a helmet in a crash on Sunday and had a 6 inch cut just hidden by my hairline. I went to an important client presentation on Monday and happened to scratch my head during the start of the presentation which re-opened the cut. I did about 10 minutes of presentation with blood dripping down my forehead, sticking to my eyebrows etc. It wasn’t until I went to wipe the sweat (I thought) with the back of my arm and saw my nice white shirt covered in blood that I realised what had happened. I couldn’t believe that no-one had interrupted or mentioned it to me earlier.

Is there any room for other stories after WCA submits some of his stories?

Too bad this was not about travel injuries, I’m now starting day 24 at hospital ward, might get released on Monday if I’m lucky.

Oof, @mmannerr 24 days!! I’d say get well soon, but it’s a bit late for that.

NOT HERE!

God loves a trier.

Mingeries are the worst I’m told, and very inconvenient.

When I was 19 I was pretty decent over 400 meters – I could hold a sprint. But one day when training, my left leg hit a bollard, put out for the steeple chase. I broke my ankle and never got that raw speed back. I could still play football and rugby but never got that power again.

Last call for more tales of stubbed toes and wonky fingers! Email me hannah@singletrackworld.com with all your stupid slips, falls, and singed beards!

Walked backwards into a high level kitchen cabinet whilst wearing a helmet and a pair of quite expensive sunglasses.

The helmet pushed them down and broke them over the bridge of my nose. Which hurt.

Most definitely an inconvenient injury this weekend. Turns out a handlebar end to the groin hurts, especially when it’s attached to a 120kg dirt bike. Had an extended lie down whilst I clutched things, some alarming colours going on down there now too.

Anecdote sent

Walked backwards into a high level kitchen cabinet

A friend walked back wards from the oven, bent over, onto an opened kitchen cupboard door. Broke his coccyx. Has taken a few years to recover. Sitting down was an issue for a long time. Definitely not recommended.

I’ve had some corkers…

Was at a party as a teenager when i ran to toilet to throw up, got down on knees, threw the toilet seat up and it bounced off cistern and came down breaking my nose.

I have a large scar in ear lobe from rugby where someone stood on my head with a sharp stud.

I broke my neck in my first years of rugby at about 10-11 when i was still skinny, as it heeled they couldn’t find a neck brace small enough, cue me having to go to an all boys school in the leg of my mums tights stuffed with newspaper round my neck.

I got frostbite working in a chicken and turkey slaughterhouse as a student, all in my groin, its amazing how quickly you become single when you have dying black flesh an inch from little Scud..

Spent 6 years in the army, then got shot with a blank round by a cadet year after i left.

Came off mountain bike trying to ride flat out down the Road of Death in Bolivia, managed to break arm, dislocate shoulder and stick brake level into thigh, the pinned my shoulder back together then failed to realise the injury to my leg, so i almost bled out over night, they then embarrassingly perfectly framed little Scud again with the sheets to show the part that needed operating on and wheeled me through the ladies ward….

I had tendonitis all down right arm, was OK mountain bike as long as i wore wrist brace, then the tendon in my right thumb snapped as i went to change channel to Disney for my daughter with the remote..

i could go on…

I broke my coccyx, trying to do a big manual while flying down a fireroad at the end of a ride at glentress. Straight over the back, nearly hit ChrisL in the face with my wheel. Got up straight away, rode to the bottom, sat in the car all the way home trying not to faint or wet myself or just die, but also trying not to make a big deal of it because I felt like such an idiot. It got better eventually and then after a while it overhealed and suddenly got rubbish again, couldn’t sit down normally for ages. Never really stopped me riding once it got out of the initial “hurts when you rattle it” though.

You know those kitchen jars with the metal things on top to seal them,that sort of pop open? I opened one of those carelessly last year and broke my thumb. Just pinged a wee corner of the bottom joint, couldn’t do a damn thing with that thumb for a month.

Got a Cleg bite on the end of my todger…that was inconvenient as the swelling took 2 weeks to go and for normal functions to return!

@scud wins! Even WCA can’t compete with that.

I’ve only ever had comedic non-bike related injuries. One of my favourites was whilst working in a clothing warehouse as a young lad. We ran out of room so had to set up some picking locations on top of an office. The access was via some portable ladders. I was up there picking winter coats. Wandered off the edge with an armful of them and the hangers exploded in to my torso. Winded, bruised, bleeding and laughing because one of my workmates thought it would be funny to move the ladders. Teenagers are dickheads.

I’ve sent you mine, I hope I make the cut (no pun intended).

Missed the cut off time ….BUT

A sports injury led to my leg in plaster  before my week of tennis lessons…..I had paid!

The coach could not believe it when I turned up!

But I did manage to learn quite a bit , and take part in the stoke basics !

My Achilles has suddenly stopped working. In struggling to move about the house and stairs are my Nemesis

I’m off work next week. This is very inconvenient !!!