- So Englebert Humperdinck is going to be our Eurovision entry….
I can’t hear his name without seguing into Eddie Izzard.
His name changed from Gerry Dorsey to Engelbert Humperdinck.
I mean, I just wanted to be in the room when they were working that one through: “Zingelbert Bembledack! Yingybert Dambleban! Zangelbert Bingledack! Wingelbert Humptyback! … Slut Bunwalla!”
“All right, Kringelbert Fishtybuns! Steviebuns Bottrittrundle –”
“No, Gerry Dorsey! I like Gerry Dorsey!”
“No, we can’t, who we got? Zingelbert Bembledack, Tringelbert Wangledack, Slut Bunwalla, Klingybun Fistelvase, Dindlebert Zindledack, Gerry Dorsey, Engelbert Humptyback, Zengelbert Bingledack, Engelbert Humperdinck, Vingelbert Wingledanck –”
“No, no, go back one!”Posted 6 years ago
Eurovision is ace I luv it
Where else can you get an evening of really bad europop and completely biased voting. It’s best with the subtitles on. We generally have a party pick a country out of hat and use it as an excuse to get massively pissed.
Isnt that what it’s for?
Amen sister!Posted 6 years ago
We have a Eurovision Party every year. Get in the booze and nibbles and watch the obviously bent voting.
The scoring formula goes like this.
1) If you can hear the sound of them revving their tank engines. – 20 points
2) If they could cut off your gas supply at the flick of a switch – 18 points
3) If they were once a part of the same nation (forgetting the small issue of genocide and ethnic cleansing) – 16 to 8 points
4) If they share the same hatred as you of the English – 6 points
5) If they are Ireland – 5 points
6) If they tolerate your illegal fishing in their coastal waters – 4 points
7) If the singer flashed her gusset* – 3 points
8 ) If the singer was an idiot dressed in some sort of tin foil covered gnome costume (France in other words) – 2 points
9) Folkie type song with a violin or accordion – 1 point
10) If you are a former imperial power**, member of the UN Security Council, rich industrial nation, if you are Israel or Belgium, if they are underwriting your national debt or actually paying for the production of Eurovision – 0 points
*A German gusset will get no votes from the Greeks (see point 10)
**Malta will always give the UK 12 points or more.
So, the winner will be a Ukrainian who plays the accordion and flashes her pants, irrespective of whether she can sing or not.Posted 6 years ago
Harry – my cousin is a big gambler. Once, on the morning before the Eurovision, he basically ran through exactly that logic, did a quick overview of the present political climate, and then (correctly) predicted the winner. He’d put 20 dabs on them at 25-1.
All without having to listen to any of the god-awful songs. Result! 😀Posted 6 years ago
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