Shortest time from shiny to ruined?

New road wheel arrived, whoop!

Take them down to the cellar and I somehow drop them both. Lovely flat spot on both rims as they hit the stone floor.

Rollocks. Less than 45 minutes.

Slammed a gate into my Enve M50 on the first ride. Hey ho.

That right there is your problem.
Wife in the cellar with all the relevant kit and bikes upstairs in the nice, soft and warm part of the house.

I once had a girlfriend for 16 minutes.

Ouch!

Maybe tell your story to the manufacturer and see if they take putty on you and offer an assisted purchase to replace them? Or maybe credit card insurance if you have it (although found out recently, my nationwide card doesn’t).

Oakley glasses freshly glazed to my prescription with transitions lenses. Within thirty minutes of their arrival I was wearing them to break up some concrete. One shard of concrete later they have a chip in them 🙁 On the plus side they saved my eye from copping it 🙂

I once had a girlfriend for 16 minutes

Did she get a puncture?

Onzadog – Member

see if they take putty on you

That’s not going to fix it

Quickest:
New frame arrived, delivered, unpacked, placed on table to view, turned round to put kettle on…CLANG! as it fell on the floor, chipped paint off dropout and scratched top tube. Time, ~3 minutes

More annoying but almost as quick:
New frame arrived, built that evening, admired and then leant up next to other bikes, friend comes to visit, props his BMX up next to it, CLANG! as it slips and his bars swing and puts a dent in my top tube 🙁

Onzadog – Member

see if they take putty on you

That’s not going to fix it

Sounds like a right pane in the glass though, TBF.

Just buy stuff secondhand. As it’s been ‘pre-disastered’ by someone already, It saves all that grief.

First ride on a new mech, which replaced the one I smashed into a rock, I proceed to then smash the new mech into the same rock. About 10 minutes.

I have turned this little cock up to my advantage.

Have wanted to learn how to build wheels for ages so new rims ordered and a wheel stand.

Only cheap R501’s so not the end of the world.

The slat hoofage i’d receive to moot that idea hammy would not bear thinking about. She has a mean hoof.

First ride on my new, (almost) dream build road bike, a gentle pootle with the wife. She falls off, I jump of bike to see how she is, new bike ends up with a scratch rear mech, pedals, bar tape and shifters. 1 hour.

First ride out on my new camber, the new paint work on this years bikes are terrible, after a first clean they scratch, loads of surface scratches all over the bike. A mate has the new stumpy and that’s the same, could be worse though.

I hate this…

A friend BITD on his brand new Orange Patriot – rainy, gritty ride on Dartmoor + waterproof trousers –> shiny toptube turning very matt

Signs of wear and tear from hard work are good; I love my old climbing kit for this reason.

Damage from abuse or neglect is unforgiveable though.

For me it’s the other way round, I’ve rarely damaged a new bit of kit in any way that bothers me but once something’s sold, it’s on dangerous ground, the number of times I’ve cleaned something up, got it ready to post then dropped it down the concrete stairs out the back or similiar…

My enthusiasm for work every Monday morning…..

….Less than drinking a cup of coffee.

I once had a girlfriend for 16 minutes.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend,but she left me before we met.

(Steven Wright)

I wrote of stone shiny new brakes putting them on the bike, gust of wind blew the stand over, the lever caught on a wall, bent and tore the master cylinder assembly apart.

On the upside two days later whilst still pondering the replacement cost I got a recall notice on them and they were replaced foc.

Very expensive ADA glass co2 diffuser for my aquarium.

It survived the postal service, then I took it out the packet inspected it and promptly dropped it on the floor.

I remember thinking at the time it had cost me £10 a second.

Bought a Genesis Io from Swinnos on Cannock Chase.
Rode out from the shop and leaned it up against the trig point for a new bike photo. I took a few steps back and it slipped & fell, deeply scratching the seat stay & seat tube.
Not exactly ruined, but permanently damaged in about 10 mins flat. 🙄

bearnecessities – Member
I once had a girlfriend for 16 minutes

Don’t worry you’ll get another one eventually .

Nothing like the same scale, but a copy of Van Halen’s 1984 bought on the day of release. Went to my girlfriend’s house and put the bag on her bed. Her little brother came in and sat on it and creased the cover.

I was furious 👿

Scraped the fork on my brand new Canondale Trigger on the render round the door frame.

From mint to scuffed in less than a second of leaving the house. 😕

I bought a Renault 5 1.7 GTX back in the day.

Driving it home, stopped to let an oncoming car overtake cars parked on their side of the road – it was a friendly kind of village – the **** behind me takes no notice and overtakes me into the path of the oncoming car and wallops my wing mirror. About 20 minutes of ownership.

I admit I rather lost it, and pursued him up the – residential – road. Came to my senses when I realised we were doing 60 past my old primary school…. 😳 Not my finest hour.

Decided that I’d like some new bars that were just a smidge wider than the old ones, 20mm each side. Splashed out on some lovely carbon Eastons.

Didn’t do the bike stand up properly and the bike fell out landing right on the edge of a slab on the end of the new bars, splintered the end off one side, had to cut it shorter. 20mm shorter. 😐

Delivery to damage, 20 minutes maybe.

Our marriage didn’t get off to a very good start when mrs rocket accidentally caught my trusty Proflex while it was leaning against a wall and caused it topple over into the corner of the wall, thus gouging the top tube.

Fortunately she was able to redeem herself some time later when my motorbike was parked on the drive and it started to rain, so she decided to bring it in to the garage. She lifted it off the sidestand took a few steps and inevitably overbalanced. Fortunately the bike fell on top of her so it was undamaged.

To avoid the pain, every new bike I give it a little scratch on the frame, and then stop worrying too much

Very good rocketman 😀

New Subaru Forester, showroom to marooned on top of a concrete wall < 4 hours.

Please, don’t ask, I wasn’t driving it…

bearnecessities – Member
I once had a girlfriend for 16 minutes

That including foreplay ?

New Subaru Forester

One place i worked they had a rogues gallery at the end of the production line showing the damage to brand new cars and the face/name of the culprit. You’d be amazed what damage you can do in the kilometer from the end of line to the delivery/distribution centre.

They had to take it down in the end as management weren’t happy about it. And i suspect it’d be covered under some sort of bullying in the workplace legislation now!

I’m probably safe to say that many of them went to be reworked and repaired, then sold on to unsuspecting customers. They will all have rotted into nothingness by now (it was 20 years ago, and they certainly weren’t collectable!)

rocketman – Member
…the bike fell on top of her so it was undamaged.

I hope you named yourself after a bicycle not the motorcycle that fell on your wife

They had to take it down in the end as management weren’t happy about it. And i suspect it’d be viewed as a badge of honor

FTFY :_D

🙂 there is a distinct possibility of that actually. Was only there for a few months so only saw a few minor scrapes.
Some of the pictures looked like the cars had been used for fire brigade practice. Peeled off body work and wheels pointing in odd directions.

I had a stans rim that lasted a mile before combusting on a rock after I ripped the sidewall of an equally brand new tyre

New bike that I received in Jan had tubes wrapped up in foam and tape. A stanley knife will take that off no worries I thought. A couple of quick cuts and I’d also cut through the down tube stickers. No biggie, but annoying all the same.

New Giant Defy bought a few years ago. Unpacked the box, attached the handlebars, attached pedals, raised the seat a bit and climbed on for the first sit on my new steed. I hadn’t tightened the seat clamp enough. Seat post slips down and jams fast in the narrow bit of the seat tube. B*gger.

Then I see the warning note in the box…….!!!

My mate paid close on £2k for his Intense frame.
Carrying it down to the shed, he dropped it, smacking the down tube onto a step. Impact cracked through the down tube.

Distraught, he phoned the shop, explained what had happened & asked for a price for a new front triangle.

After speaking to Intense, the Shop called back shortly after.
Intense said that seeing as he hadn’t tried to fake a warranty claim, they were replacing it free of charge…!!!