Right. You'd best all sit down – it's an Elfinsafety rant. Get the kettle on.

Three pounds twenty pence.

Three pounds twenty pence.

That’s what I paid to get across the river from Greenwich to the Isle of Dogs, on my journey home just now.

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THREE POUNDS TWENTY PENCE??? TO GET ACROSS THE RIVER?????

B45TARDS!

F‰„ÂÊ#¢?ING USELESS B45TARDS!

Hold on I’ve got to have me Valium. Back in a short while. Need to lie down for a minute or two…

take a bike…..?

GAAAARRGGHHHHH!

Swim?

A highly stylised effort but ultimately shite source material lets this rant down.

3/10

Take a bike?

TAKE A BIKE??????/

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That London’s great, innit?

Any chance you can carry a bag of bricks tied to your neck next time?

Don’t start I’m too upset and angry.

Someone is going to pay for this. Believe me.

achieve a higher level of consciousness and levitate? ps how was cycle show? oh and being a yokel from a small island was that by tube or boat?

B45TARDS!

Have we found ourselves back in the cherished numberplate thread again?

Right. I’ll explain, now me Valium’s kicking in.

The Greenwich foot tunnel is currently having works done to renovate it. This has been planned for several years.

The only way up and down is via the lifts, as they’re doing the stairs first.

Got there tonight; lift’s broken.

Alternatives? Woolwich ferry, 5 miles away one direction, or Tower Bridge, 4 miles or so in theother direction. Blackwall and Rotherhithe tunnels not viable, Woolwich tunnel closed long term, you can’t take your bike on the DLR.

So.

How am I meant to get across?

The only option is via the Thames Clipper service. Fair enough. But you have to pay.

Greenwich council have known about such an eventuality, yet have done absolutely nothing to cater for such an eventuality. Hundreds of cyclist rely on the tunnel every day, to get to work and that. It is the only option if you’re on a bike. So, no tunnel = £3.20 to cross a river 400m wide.

‘So what’s the big deal’ I hear some of the hard-of-thinking say.

Greenwich Foot Tunel is a Public Right of Way. And what happens if a ROW is for whatever reason unusable? The authority responsible are legally obliged to provide alternative routes. Not possible in this case, so a ferry is the obvious option.

So where’s the ferry, Greenwich Council?

Erm…

Once again, cyclists have to suffer the uselessness and incompetence of a local authority.

Get on yer bike, be fit and healthy, Lympic City, future legacy blah blah blah.

Yeah, right.

Three pounds and twenty pence.

Just spent the last 3 days in London at some god awful facilities management exhibition at Earls Court. I paid a mortgage everyday to eat and drink

you paid less than a pint to be taken across the river by someone who owns a boat. you don’t own a boat. WTF is your problem?

were all the bridges broken?

i’ll give you the £3.20 back if you share the valium

“take a bike” don’t ever lose yer sense of humour – aren’t all Londoners cheeky chappies like Dick Van Dyke…. 😉

You really do crave attenton don’t you? It’s really rather sad.

[/quote] Someone is going to pay for this. Believe me.

Three pound twenty by any chance??

I thought the Isle of Dogs wasn’t a real island.
Couldn’t you have just gone round ?

ps epic fail – i’d like you if we ever met!!!

Many years ago I had the pleasure of staying in the Rowing club at Greenwich, surely they would lend you a scull 😀

£3.20 less than a pint? where the **** do you drink? That’s at least 5 pints and some pork scratchings round this neck of the woods. Poncy southern git 😉

Someone is going to pay for this

It could be you?

anyone got that badger photo and a thames boat piccy?

it’s no more of an isle than Purbeck.

should try getting a boat to the Isle of Man – nearly as dear by mile and food costs more than Earls Court food places

Ok, for the knobs: Forget it’s me. Forget it’s London. The fact is that a local authority has failed to provide a reasonable alternative to a heavily used ROW. So, it now costs cyclists money to use the only reasonable alternative.

I doubt you’d be so glib if it were part of your route to work/whatever.

It nearly kicked off on the boat at Greenwich. Several cyclists refused to pay. It’s not the boat staff’s fault, but it leaves cyclists facing a massive detour, or having to leave their bikes at home. Hardly promoting cycling, is it?

The attitude towards cycling in this country is shit. London is actually better than most places in this respect, but it’s piss poor. Apparently Greenwich Council have considered a ferry service, but haven’t actually bothered to provide one.

A statement from TfL said: “Greenwich Council is responsible for the tunnel and providing alternative transport arrangements during its closure however TfL is always ready to provide advice should it be asked for.

Bullshit. It’s been asked for, TfL haven’t delivered on their own promise.

The River Bus service stops in the late evening. Meaning many people who need the tunnel outside of operating hours can’t get across at that point. **** out of order.

If it was something that affected you, you’d be pissed off, guaranteed.

I have a mate who commutes 365 days of the year, always used the foot tunnel… now he has to add another 8 miles to his commute to cross at London Bridge instead, or pay the extortionate car ferry fee… I’m on your side Elfin, it’s fookin bullshit!

Let me be the first to offer my condolences,, i’m deeply saddeded by your terrible experience and wouldn’t wish it on anyone, even my worst enemies.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

3/10. Too short. Too little swearing.

Good build up. Shame you couldn’t deliver.

Someone is going to pay for this. Believe me.

It would appear that you already have…..

Ok, for the knobs: Forget it’s me. Forget it’s London

I can’t. Anyone?

Someone is going to pay for this. Believe me.

Yep they are,you £3.20!!

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Thank you Sharki. At last, some compassion.

Psychle; it’s just rubbish. So many things they do really well in this city. But a relatively simple thing, and they can’t sort it out.

I’m having that £3.20 back. I could’ve bought a pint in my favourite local for that (and still had change, funnily enough). I’ll be speaking to my legal team in the morning.

Keep all receipts, invoice council including your time n distress. everytime you contact them, charge for it. Keep a record of any phonecalls, get name of anyone you speak to. Invoice for everything.

Ooops! my mistake. 😳

Thought this was the thread about the cat.
How silly of me. 😕

WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN………

You really do crave attenton don’t you? It’s really rather sad.

Yep. And if you say so.

Got your attention though din’t it? 😉

Keep all receipts

I’ll get me three pounds twenty back. Foregone conclusion. It’ll be a small price for Greenwich Council to pay to avoid having to deal with me on a daily basis until I get my money back.

Yes it is a bit rubbish, but why are you going sarf of the river in the first place? Oh, and when I was in Fife and they closed the Forth Road Bridge to cyclists (cos of the G8) it was a 36 mile detour or £3 on the train.

Pedalo???

What Would Andrew Flintoff Do?