Like the bombing of Port Stanley runway?

There is scientific evidence to suggest never taking the first or last trap in the row as these are statistically more popular. Hence entering one of those increases the chance of feeling another mans butt warmth on the seat, or breathing their farts.

[useless fact]Actually there’s scientific evidence that the first cubicle is the cleanest due to everybody avoiding it because they think it’s the most popular and hence the most germ ridden.[/useless fact]

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoACQCJWx10[/video]

I hate it when people look over thce cubicle wall at you when mid session. This happened to me once.

I always wonder about the dirty bar stewards that leave shrapnel everywhere. Do they do this at home?

Northerners = Out House

Everyone else = Cubicle

Argh! My teeth hurt just watching that!

Bullheart WTF have they got to do when at work logging etiquette?

It concerns me when they choose the trap next to you then proceed to make noises like a tug of war team. Liking your style bullheart. That first one makes me feel bad.

Few years ago, I was sat quietly having a powernap dump, when the trap next to me came into use. Heard a couple of splashes, the sound of paper being unfolded, then the unexpected sound of a packet of crisps being opened and munched on.

Nice.

And you know it was crisps because … ?

It could have been (a) Crunchie.

Perhaps he passed the bag under the door.

Perhaps he passed the bag under the door.

True. On reflection, it would have been rude not to.

In my office you have to play Poo Roulette with Barry the Poo, it’s a little like Russian Roulette allow me to explain.

Barry the Poo is the big fat post clerk/messenger who seems to spend an enormous amount of time in the toilet, hence his name.

Sometimes you walk into the toilet and the Poo Man is in there again but he’s washing his hands and all of the five traps are free!!

Which trap has Barry been using this time??

Which has the warm seat?

Ro5ey – Barry the Poo? That’s fantastic.

And what a great game – Russian Poolette!

Or the trap next to you becomes occupied and then his phone rings and he begins a conversation. That’s very, very wrong.

There’s nothing wrong with talking on the phone while evacuating the children.

I’ve had many a conference call whilst sitting on the throne. Mind you – I wouldn’t do that in a public/work bog, only if I was working at home.

Jesus. Just sat on a hot toilet seat. Hot I tell you. Bastards.

I hope you didn’t see Barry coming out.

“Crowning”. I’ve heard pregnant females can enter a phase called “Crowning”. Is this the same as “touching cloth” ?

turtles head, innit

Harry_the_Spider – Member

A colleague of mine and fellow STW forum botherer, whose name rhymes with EricStarship, sits in the traps in the work’s toilets waiting for somebody in an adjacent stall to fart. When they do he plays klaxon sound effects on his i-phone.

fk me, i’m laffin so much it hurtz an i cannae see fur the tearz

On the right side of the meadow a large common latrine has been built, a
roofed and durable construction. But that is for recruits who as yet have not
learned how to make the most of whatever comes their way. We want something
better.

Scattered about everywhere there are separate, individual boxes for the same
purpose. They are square, neat boxes with wooden sides all round, and have
unimpeachably satisfactory seats. On the sides are hand grips enabling one to shift
them about.

We move three together in a ring and sit down comfortably. And it will be two hours before we get up again.

All Quiet on the Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque

Harry_the_Spider – Member
A colleague of mine and fellow STW forum botherer, whose name rhymes with EricStarship, sits in the traps in the work’s toilets waiting for somebody in an adjacent stall to fart. When they do he plays klaxon sound effects on his i-phone.

😆

fk me, i’m laffin so much it hurtz an i cannae see fur the tearz

Me too. 😀

Billy Connolly once did a sketch about overhearing people having sex, and how “unlike you” other people do it.

I’ve often thought that the same applies to people in adjacent traps.

I believe the sequence of nomenclature (or levels of desperation if you’ve yet to find a vacant trap) is: crowning, then touching cloth, then Teddy’s arm (or Bungle’s finger), before the final point of no return…

Bungle’s finger

😆

I’m nicking that one!

Yesteday morning, having just started to deposit my load in the single cubicle staff toilet. THe door burst open and the little troll fella we have as a technician burst in and shouted, my name, followed by the boss is on the phone.
I said I was having my morning crap, and would call her back, no he said it’s important.

I had to squeeze, pinch and wipe. Ruined my start to the day.

It also reset my poo clock, so I didn’t need to go again until I was part way through a lesson.