A new study shows people may not always be truthful in surveys or polls. So do you
a) always tell lies in polls
b) never tell lies in polls

But if I always lie in polls, I’d have to answer that I never lie in polls. So how would you know?

Hmm… [narrows eyes ]

B

C

Yes (No)

C

Ken Dodd’s dad’s dog’s dead

No. But I’ve laid in a pool.

On occasion under certain circumstances

I also know people that have lied to others about their political inclinations just to avoid a lengthy “debate” I say debate, I mean having to spend 30 minutes trying to end a extremely one sided conversation. Not strictly a poll in this case but the questions where aimed at understanding conversion rates.

depends on the poll or survey

an official opinion poll, i’d tell truth

canvasser asking if they can count on my support, always lie, with the biggest untruths going to the parties I’d never support in a million years

exit poll, always lie, none of their business, and the impatient sods will get the real answer that matters in a few hours anyway (or sometimes if they ask how I voted, reply with a stupid comment like “oh I put an X on the paper with the pencil they supplied”)

questionnaire, approximate truth maybe with some exaggeration, but they’re a waste of time anyway since they’re more often than not self-confirming statistics, and obvious what they are trying to confirm rather than disprove

Yes (No)

Ahh  – the unanswerable Daily Mail Polls that reads somehow manage to answer anyway

But I’ve laid in a pool.

Do we have to guess what it was a pool of?

A: Blood

B: Own Excrememt

C: Someone else’s Excrament

D: Balls

E: Typists

F: All of the above

I’ve climbed a pole or have I?

I lied to a pole.

Actually that’s a lie. Or is it……

I slide down a pole

the unanswerable Daily Mail Polls that reads somehow manage to answer anyway

That’s amazing.

If I have lied in a poll, they are pretty insignificant things so it’s not something I’d remember, so
C: all of the above

I’d never lie to the politburo – they have lie detectors.

No. But I’ve laid in a pool.

Still waiting to Boris to lie down in a ditch. Though I’m certain he’s lied in many polls.