Does anyone do this?

I’ve been with her for 2yrs, and it looks like after xmas i’ll be moving my stuff in. We discussed financial arrangements, but this is where things start to get messy.

I’ll start off by saying that we both imagine being together for the forseeable future. Eventually, i guess, we’ll be buying a house of our own.

She currently own’s 2 house’s. One is rented out, the other she bought 2 months ago and is the one we’ll be living in.

When we discussed moving in together a few months ago she was quite clear that she’d support me in saving for my own place (buy to let) and as such wouldn’t want me to be paying an over the top amount to live at hers.

Now, i would have no problem at all paying half the mortgage (which is £645pm) and half the bills (works out at about £250pm)if my name was on the mortgage. We did discuss buying together, but thought it best to wait a couple more years.

I’ve offered to pay £350pm, and do most of the shopping which would probably work out at around £150. But when i offered this she got arsey and said i was tight. Am i? I’m paying to cover any increase in bill’s and also an amount towards the mortgage.

I’ve flat out refused to pay half of the mortgage, and reminded her that we discussed buying together in the summer.

In reality, i know that with 2 mortgages to pay she’s panicing. But im not prepared to throw my money into something, and if something were to go wrong leave me with no chance in hell of me getting any money back.

I’m being tight? She’s a bitch?

Surely having a male round the house is priceless?

thisisnotaspoon posted this morning about the fact he pays his ladybeast money for living quarters

your situation sounds tricky dude:

are you planning on it being a long term relationship?

£350 and shopping is plenty IMO. Legally you’re a lodger; particularly if she insists on filling out a rent book.

GFs always say how much they cherish honesty in a relationship, so just tell her you’re not very committed to the relationship, and aren’t prepared to potentially chuck money down the drain.
😀

Tell her to do it legally, get a rent book and to remember to pay tax on the income she’s receiving from you.

if your contributing towards the mortgage and bills, and in a commited relationship living in the same house together, would this afford you any ‘rights’ to any of it if you split up? i haven’t checked any legal stuff but i was under the (possibly wrong) impression that if you can show you’ve contributed towards the household for a certain amount of time you’re entitled to some of it if you split up?

See what flatshare rates are and pay, say, 2/3 of that.

Only fair considering you share a room.

I would pay half, but expect to move to a joint mortgage after 6-12 months, if everythings working out.

What’s the going rate for that accommodation in the area? Pay that unless she wants to discount it a bit – mate’s rates. The share the food. Keep it business like so you both know what you’ve agreed to.

More than about £350 a month, and there’s a tax liability. Although I suppose that could be gotten around if you paid bills and such.

Half of everything in the property you are going to live in is fair why should she pay more there. BUT I don’t think you should pay anything towards a second property she owns why would you?

I lived with someone who took the p**s for 20 years and now its a equal relationship with whoever has cash buying rounds, meals etc take it in turns and its lovely

What’s the house like? Number of bedrooms… bathrooms? Garage? Garden? Good back door?

Yeah, this is long term.

What’s likely to happen is i’ll put my name on this mortgage, after signing some contract stating the amount of money she’s put into the house before me, so that if all did go tits up we’d be able to sell and distrobute the money accordingly.

But untill then, we have to go through this.

It may also be worth mentioning that i earn £27k, she earns £39k.

if you can show you’ve contributed towards the household for a certain amount of time you’re entitled to some of it if you split up?

I think thats a myth.

Half of everything in the property you are going to live in is fair why should she pay more there. BUT I don’t think you should pay anything towards a second property she owns why would you?

But it’s going on repaying the mortage – half of the interest on the mortgage would be fair (plus half of bills etc.).

If it’s in her name only, then it’s not really fair to expect the OP to assist with repaying the capital.

No quite a myth. My mum’s going through something at the minute with her ex husband. He’s trying to claim some of the house. We lived in it for 25 years, him for 5.

How much do you pay in rent (incl bills etc) currently?

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SniOXFhwIZ8[/video]

What’s likely to happen is i’ll put my name on this mortgage, after signing some contract stating the amount of money she’s put into the house before me, so that if all did go tits up we’d be able to sell and distrobute the money accordingly.

sounds sensible!

IMO wages shouldn’t really matter, everything split in two on the house you’ll be living in, nothing towards her buy-to-let thingy as thats her separate investment that only she will be making money from by the sounds of it.

We rent so yeah its different I guess I’d not thought that one through 😆

wrecker – Member
How much do you pay in rent (incl bills etc) currently?

I pay £350 all in, living with 2 other friends.

TSY, naughty….! 🙂

The relationship isn’t going to go far if you are squabbling about money already.

When my GF (now wife) moved into my house she just paid a nominal amount as an informal ‘rent’. I think it was £150 a month and that was about 10 years ago.

mastiles_fanylion – Member
The relationship isn’t going to go far if you are squabbling about money already.

When my GF (now wife) moved into my house she just paid a nominal amount as an informal ‘rent’. I think it was £150 a month and that was about 10 years ago.

We’re not squabbling, in fact we’ve only talked about it twice. I just want to get things clear in my head. I know i dont want to be paying off the mortgage for her, but equally, i dont want to be freeloading.

Binners doesn’t pay me enough I make him do chores wearing just a pinny…. its more fun than asking for extra cash

Binners doesn’t pay me enough I make him do chores wearing just a pinny….

Pictures… etc…

Whoever said romance was dead???????? 🙄

If you’re both going to be living in the same house for the forseeable future (life ideally) why not start as you mean to go on and split everything? Perhaps not 50/50 as you earn different amounts but a proportionate split?

Surely when you’ve moved in on a permanent basis it will cease to be “her” house and become “our” house…isn’t that how these things work?

There was a really good programme/article on this on R4 yesterday – may have been you and yours? Followed on from a recent High Court decision where one party got screwed after paying some of the mortgage but not getting his name down IIRC.

Sounds like a minefield in that crappy legal system you Sassenachs have 😛

She currently own’s 2 house’s. One is rented out, the other she bought 2 months ago and is the one we’ll be living in.

When we discussed moving in together a few months ago she was quite clear that she’d support me in saving for my own place (buy to let) and as such wouldn’t want me to be paying an over the top amount to live at hers.

Here’s how I think this could be solved for both of you: stop buying so many houses!

that’s unfair…. we’d get banned if we posted a lady in a kitchen not wearing very much 😯

in the words of Deadlydarcy… ‘i have the strangest boner right now’

Its what Binners looks like just before I wake up

I’m very easy on the eye, aren’t I Phil 😉

Stick to your guns. You’re just going from being a lodger to being a lodger. Also, it needs to be attractive for her to add you to the mortgage.

i would pay towards the room and half on the heating and electricity and food bills
and if she wants more then offer to buy half of the house.
fairs fair

*lubes up the tongue for some serious eyeball licking*

Is that a real picture of Binners or not? His house looks like it’s probably got one of those posh back doors that open right up across the whole of the back of the house.

I’d pay extra to have a house like that.

whatever you get sorted now, when it comes to you going on the mortgage you MUST get the deeds changed to show your shares as a percentage ( note that you are either tennants in common or joint tennants on teh title deed – google the terms for definitions as they are different ) AND you MUST get a deed of trust written up by a brief which will lay out who’s entitled to what in the event of a split.
i cannot, from bitter, recent experience, stress how important the deed of trust is.
my ex GF walked into ‘our’ house having spent nothing at all to move in to it, and walked out 4 and a half years later with enough funds that meant basically she’d paid nothing to live in the house over that time at all.

Yeti – I just literally spat coffee out of my nose all over my keyboard. I’m now sat here spluttering, with my eyes watering and everyone is looking at me like I’m demented 😳

Aren’t lodgers tax free up to £4k per year?