I was in Tesco and saw a guy off Crimewatch who is wanted for several rapes. I tackled him to the ground and punched him unconscious. The police arrived and arrested me. Apparently they use actors on the show.

As funny as toothache. A-hole.

Aw come-on, I thought it was funny. 😀

i loled.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker?

He got a no-bell prize.

nice tits 🙂

We haven’t had a forum retard for a while.

Sorry, was I supposed to laugh?

Take no notice Cherie, they’re just being mean 🙁

We haven’t had a forum retard for a while.

It was a joke FFS. Remove the broom handle from your arse.

Remove the broom handle from your arse.

for some of us that’s as jiggy as it gets …

It was a joke FFS. Remove the broom handle from your arse.

I laughed more at BoardinBob’s post than the OP’s post 😀

I thought the choice of crime was in bad taste, that’s all. Enjoy the weekend.

Funny! you guys need to lighten-up a bit FFS. Nice one SC

Alex

Some recognition, at last. 😀

Oh dear, it’s not just the completely rotten joke, it’s the disasterous delivery, a killer combo.

Get over it Northwind, at least I posted a joke. Why don’t you post one? Eh?

I just told a mate that joke and he didn’t get why you were arrested…

Slaps face…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiS1IcKuG8s

ha!

I thought this was slightly amusing:

“Get over it Northwind, at least I posted a joke. Why don’t you post one? Eh?”

OK then. Descartes is in a bar. The barman asks “Do you want another drink?” Descartes says “I think not!” then vanishes.

….at least I posted a joke. Why don’t you post one? Eh?

You’re new around here Cherie, eh ? Let me explain …….

Most people won’t post jokes on here, for the simple reason that it gets the sort of reaction which you got. It’s a brave person indeed, who risks the ridicule and inevitable attempts to have their jokes carbon dated.

The only exceptions are ‘Tommy Cooper’ type jokes. In the case of ‘Tommy Cooper type jokes’ these jokes are considered to be hilariously funny precisely because of their staggering age.

HTH

OK then. Descartes is in a bar. The barman asks “Do you want another drink?” Descartes says “I think not!” then vanishes.

😆 😆 😆

Northwind are you Ben Elton?

The only exceptions are ‘Tommy Cooper’ type jokes. In the case of ‘Tommy Cooper type jokes’ these jokes are considered to be hilariously funny precisely because of their staggering age.

I’ve yet to find a Tommy Cooper joke thats even moderately amusing never mind “hilariously funny”. That’s probably leaving myself open for flaming but personally I found the guy about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and then finding out there’s a gas bill attached to it.*

On the other hand the OP’s joke wasn’t bad. 🙂

* joke courtesy of Blackadder (and therefore funny).

+1 for Northwind’s joke.

Made me smile, but the delivery wasn’t all that good.

Work on your technique!
😉

Ernie – I don’t mind being ridiculed, it’s all a laugh at the end of the day. I don’t take these things so seriously, in fact, I rather enjoy the banter. 😀

I’ve yet to find a Tommy Cooper joke thats even moderately amusing

😯 * speechless *

I nipped into a cafe today for some food. It had a sign in the window saying ‘Breakfast served at any time’, so i ordered French Toast during the Renaissance…

I Loled @ gizzardman! 😆

Me too! 🙂

Two statistitians go hunting.
They walk long and hard hours and finaly get to a pond with a duck swimming on the top of it.
The first one load his rifle, aim and shoot. It’s a miss about 3 foot on the left.
The second load his rifle, aim and shoot. It’s another miss by about 3 foot on the right.
Then they stare at each other smile, high five and say
“Wicked we got it”
😛

calltaker: 911 Emergency, which service do you require?

caller: I’m hunting with my friend, and I shot him accidentally!!

calltaker: Ok sir, check if he’s dead?

caller: rustling noise, then BANG…..Right, what do I do now?

1) “I slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace!”

2) “That’s a very old violin you are playing”
“I gave Yehudi Menuhin!”

TC rules! 🙂

Notlocal that was soooo wrong – but I laughed…

Have we worked out who SC is yet?