Now I've had a Phall…..

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  • Now I've had a Phall…..
  • pondo
    Member

    *Awaits the sound of old shoes falling out of the loft*. Hope you get a good night’s sleep, you might be short of that soon – all the best! πŸ™‚

    The midwife will get a shock to say the least when the final push comes !

    Premier Icon garage-dweller
    Subscriber

    ^^^^^^yuck!!!!!

    Premier Icon garage-dweller
    Subscriber

    There is something else that’s supposed b to help you can do together and far less likely to result in a ring of fire….

    gonzy
    Member

    Its been 6 hours since I ate the curry and nothing yet….from me or the missus…

    gonzy
    Member

    Garage dweller….We’ve been trying that too!! πŸ˜‰

    gonzy
    Member

    The wife is expecting gonzy no. 3. Her due date is tomorrow…but it doesn’t look like that’s gonna happen so we decided to try and get the process started….
    So I got her a Phall curry….not to let her suffer, I bought one too.
    She managed half of hers but I finished mine off…..
    and I’m still alive….Kryton you softie!!

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    Now, I thought I’d got away with it too…

    *waits*

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    One of our friends had a home birth.

    Her children used to delight in pointing at a patch of carpet in the hall and saying ‘That’s where Mummy pooed herself!’.

    In the OP’s case they’d be able to point at the walls and ceiling too if things kick off in the next 24 hours.

    woffle
    Member

    For the sake of you both I hope that baby stays exactly where it is for the next couple of days. Was present at both my two daughter’s births and have managed to blank out pretty much everything but the arrival itself however I vaguely remember enough to suggest this might have been a mistake…

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    Doesn’t work anyway but as log as enjoyed your curry.

    Premier Icon leffeboy
    Subscriber

    Doesn’t work anyway but as log as enjoyed your curry

    there may not be any logs πŸ™

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    Ooops! πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon honeybadgerx
    Subscriber

    So when someone asks where you were for the birth of No.3 you’ll be able top say ‘curled up on the toilet floor with my trousers round my ankles in a puddle of my own excrement, sobbing quietly to myself’ – at least if you’re lucky enough to make it to the toilet!

    Hope the birth goes well πŸ™‚

    thegreatape
    Member

    Hope the birth goes well

    The birth of the OPs mud child? I think we’ve established that that’s not going to go well.

    Houns
    Member

    In the OP’s case they’d be able to point at the walls and ceiling too if things kick off in the next 24 hours.

    πŸ˜†

    gonzy
    Member

    update – the wife has been to the bog this morning and released the evil lurking in her bowels…but still no baby
    as for me…i’m back at work and still no sign of the misfortune that Kryton suffered….

    woodsman
    Member

    I think this is becoming the new ‘shit yourself fit’ craze on STW

    Premier Icon andytherocketeer
    Subscriber

    thought that update was going to be that they were going to have to name the littl’un Lewis/Louise

    dannyh
    Member

    gonzy.

    Are you absolutely sure your missus doesn’t mind having her toileting schedule broadcast on STW?

    Just saying, like – that ring sting might be the least of your worries if she reads this?

    gonzy
    Member

    ^^ hang on…i’ll ask her….

    globalti
    Member

    Try a tarka, it’s like a tikka but a lot ‘otter.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    ^^ hang on…i’ll ask her….

    he’s been gone nearly an hour, should someone go and look for him?

    tang
    Member

    Nah, he’s in the sh**!

    gonzy
    Member

    he’s been gone nearly an hour, should someone go and look for him?

    nope

    still alive too…although i’ve been in a meeting for the last hour…and the boredom nearly killed me
    wifey couldnt care less right now…she just wants the baby out

    but this probably means she’s made a mental note of this and will use it against me at some later date…

    GregMay
    Member

    Maybe just bop her on the head like a bottle of ketchup.

    daftvader
    Member

    I want a curry now….

    Premier Icon grtdkad
    Subscriber

    …any movement?

    Baby or ‘other’ ?

    Premier Icon cloudnine
    Subscriber

    Just be on your toes.. the 3rd can arrive very quickly.
    Plenty of gas and air and you’ll get through it…
    Good luck

    Premier Icon matthewjb
    Subscriber

    but this probably means she’s made a mental note of this and will use it against me at some later date…

    At least you understand how marriage works.

    gonzy
    Member

    No movement from me or, more importantly, her…

    gonzy
    Member

    Daftvader – how about a phall?? πŸ˜‰

    EDIT: We ordered 2 phall’s and a jalfrezi last night but only touched the phall’s…wife finished off the phall at lunchtime today with no side effects…the jalfrezi was my tea this evening….
    I think there’s more mileage to this thread…

    gonzy
    Member

    still nothing for me so i guess i’ve dodged a bullet there….as for wifey…she felt a contraction last night but nothing more so we’re still waiting….

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
    Subscriber

    The name on the menu can be confusing, our old Local Curry house had a bit of a day of the week randomisation in it, Balti can in a range from mmm thats nice to *************************** my eyes are bleeding. If in doubt add a couple of fresh chillis

    daftvader
    Member

    Probably will be gonzy… and good luck for mrsgonzy….

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    i guess i’ve dodged a bullet

    It was the risk of drowning that you should have considered…

    gonzy
    Member

    name on the menu can be confusing

    the dish wasnt on the menu as there isnt much demand for it…most customers stop at vindaloo…i had to ask the chef to make it especially…i also asked him to make it as hot as possible

    Probably will be gonzy… and good luck for mrsgonzy….

    thanks…i guess there might be another “i’ve had a phall” thread soon… πŸ˜€
    Kryton – you’ve started a new STW craze…
    eat a phall and see if you live to tell the tale… πŸ˜‰

    daftvader
    Member
    gonzy
    Member

    i’m still alive!!
    i defeated the phall!! πŸ˜€
    still no sign of the baby though…the wife decided to go one step further than the phall last night and had some of this stuff….

    its even hotter than a phall….and still nothing

    this baby does not want to vacate the premises!!

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