- need a laugh
Two Irish guys are nailing some floorboards down when one of them notices that some of the nails are upside down. The more he goes through them the more of them he realises are upside down. His pal realises he’s throwing loads of nails over his shoulder and asks him what the **** he’s doing? “Loads of these feckig nails are upside down,” he says, “so I’m chucking the feckers”. “Jesus don’t,” says his mate, “hang on to them, they’ll do for the ceiling”.
Mines the dark blue one on that hangar over there….Posted 9 years agotankslapperMember
A man goes into confession and says “forgive me father. Last night I made love to twins half my age in positions that I think are illegal, over and over again” The priest thinks for a few minutes and says “buy seven lemons, squeeze the juice into a glass then drink it” “Will this cleanse me sin?” asks the man.”No” says the priest “but it’ll wipe that f***** smile of your face!”Posted 9 years agothe_sea_is_silentMember
13 year old dad Alfie Patten has joined Fathers for Justice, as he already has the Spiderman costume.
Q) What do Roman Abramovich, the Metropolitan police force and a girl with an itchy f*nny have in common?
A) Neither wishes they’d gone for the BrazilianPosted 9 years agomolgripsSubscriber
– I just got a dog, it’s a border collie. It comes home in the school holidays.
– I got stung by a bee yesterday. Charged me £20 for a jar of honey.
– My parents said to me, “Son, we had to make a lot of sacrifices to pay for your education.” They were both Druids, you see.Posted 9 years ago
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