Napalm, nukes, Marzocci Z5s even- anything to rid my garden of blummin’ midges. I’m bitten all all over, swollen up like Bibendum!

SA18 1PY

What about a midge eater? Has the advantage that it’s not banned by the UN.

Good luck getting rid of them. However: Avon Skin So Soft. It doesn’t seem to work for all midges, but it’s the best repellent I’ve ever used.

Edit: just to be clear you spray it on yourself, not on the midges.

So they they can make patented seeds that only last a season for maximum profit, they can grow human ears on mice, they can clone and genetically modify any damn thing they please, yet they can’t be arsed to make helium filled whales than use their baleen comb to harvest midges like krill….

No doubt Scotland could lead the way in this valuable new species

Smidge

Marmite. A good even coating

Ignore scotroutes. What would he know?

I’d go with the Marmite and Helium whales, but if you have friends from down south encourage them to dress for getting a suntan.

Midgies prefer fresh meat….

My grandparents lived in SA18 2PY (Bishop Road) don’t remember midges there. Move up the road a bit.

Ballistol Stichfrei..it works !

German engineering for repelling midges, ticks , horseflies , mosquitos ( tested in tropical conditions ) ..it’s even a factor 6 sun cream & sport massage oil..you can buy an animal version & also a version suited to kids .

It’s also Deet free ( nasty ingredient )..its better than Avon , Smidge ..and anything else you care to mention ..thats from 20 years of living in and around Kielder Forest ..where the Scottish Midge comes for a pre season boot camp to toughen up !

I’ve as yet not seen or been bothered by one ..

You will probably only find this online …

smidge is the answer.  Works as well as DEET, is not unpleasant to use.  Nothing else works apart from DEET.

Oh right – midges. When I read the title, I assumed this would be about Morris dancers…

Midgies love me. Smidge does nothing to reduce that love.

Get the highest concentration of deet you can, and cover yourself in a millimetre thick layer of it. They’ll still land on you, but will die an instant and unpleasant death in a pool of sweat and horrible chemicals, surrounded by their fallen comrades.

Just don’t get it in your eyes.

Smidge isn’t as effective as Stichfrei ..Ive tried both extensively

Pedal faster….

I’ve called it in! Break out the surfboards…

Oh right – midges. When I read the title, I assumed this would be about Morris dancers…

Marmite for those too – a good liberal coating on each.

I got a couple of bites at Dalbeattie on Sunday.  The first bites of the season are always the worst as my skin seems to react even worse than usual.

Smidge works pretty well when I remember it. I’ll try and remember Ballistol Stichfrei and give it a a try too

https://www.lifesystems.co.uk/products/insect-repellents/expedition-100-plus-spray?sku=6260&gclid=Cj0KCQjw28_XBRDhARIsAEk21FgiPRROEYwaRiS0iYsJc9jR7TE7t94–K3yw1Jd22ICN-xX4uzvi1caAohEEALw_wcB

this stuff.

I get bitten terribly, if I’m in a group, i will be the only one to get bitten, and i react terribly to the bites, nobody who has been with me has ever seen anything like it.

This stuff makes it easy for me to be enjoy being outside. One application lasts all day and night.

Don’t get it in eyes, or lips, or on plastic spectacle frames or anything other than skin.

But i can assure you, it works.

Avon skin so soft does nothing ime, my understanding is that it used to, years ago, but they changed the formula and it’s useless nowadays.

I tried some last year.

Avon skin so soft does nothing ime, my understanding is that it used to, years ago, but they changed the formula and it’s useless nowadays.

there was never anything in the ‘formula’ – its not a repellant, it doesn’t keep insects away from you. It just makes you too slippery to bite – if you’re not drenched in it you’ll just get bitten somewhere that you’ve not daubed it.

Smidge is basically Avon with repellant added – has a repellant effect and has the same slippery/beak-blocking qualities to prevent a bite.

I used my own formula of Brut-infused marmite. Keeps midges at bay but I keep being mistaken for David Dickinson.