Imagine you’re launching that new range of bikes.
You need a cool, catchy and inspiring bike model name.
Raleigh Mustang is already taken, sorry.

What’s your bike type and model name?

Umbongo Bearpit
Umbongo Rabid Dog
Umbongo Space tiger
Umbongo death monster

The German-speaking countries are good for this; KTM used to have some shockers.

Was it Fixie Inc that had a bike called Betty Leeds (when everyone knows the Leeds branch shut decades ago)?

Very LLS hardtail.

Vomit Bicycle Co.

Con Artist

Road Bike: “Lanterne Rouge”

Is PowerTower taken yet?

Brand: Brown. models: 275HT; 275FS; 29HT; 29FS.

Woop!

Sick Bike Co.
Gnarsisist
Gnarpoon
and the Gnargonnahappen….

I’ll get my coat…

Brand : Fluffy Bikes

Models : Kitten, Puppy, Jumper and Bellybutton.

Turbo-Bastard-Thunder-C**t.

Is PowerTower taken yet?

I believe it’s trademarked by Surly.

Brand: Toxic

Bikes –
Fat bike – Toxic Swamp
Jump bike – Toxic Air
29FS – Toxic Pump

Company Name:

Braaaaap Cycles

Models:

Woooaahhh
Oh Shiiiii..
No No No No No…
Ooofyoubugga

The DH one.
The Enduro one.
The Trail one.
Derek.
The XC one.
The Fat one.
The Electric one.
The Dirt Jump one.
The Trials one.

Chippy Bikes; range includes the Saveloy track bike (obvious marketing deal with Alex Horne and Chris Hoy), the Pea Fritter fatbike, the Small Haddock kids’ bike, and the Pensioners’ Special e-MTB. Hard to know whether to market the chamois cream as Mushy Peas, Pickled Eggs or Battered Sausage.

Umbongo Space tiger

Put me down for one of these.

Half arsed bikes.

The mountain
The road
The fat
The gravel
The commute
The bmx
The downhill

Garibaldi Biscotto

Bike, the first model released is bike 1, the second is bike 2 and so on.
Would save so much time trying to think up names.

Barm Cake = Downhill bike
Greased seal = Enduro machine
Vomit inducer = xc machine
Rolling Nigel = gravel / touring bike

Yorkshire Bike Co.
T’ Whippet – road bike
T’ Pigeon – Cargo bike
E by gum – Ebike
Crack Hander- XC bike with Lefty fork
Over Yonder – Adventure/Gravel bike
Push Iron – Commuter/Pub bike

You can put me on the waiting list for an Um Bongo bicycle, especially if it’s got a traditional colour scheme.

Cumberbike

Cruiser/ pootling machine: whatyonwi’
Xc racer: gitonyer
Gravity: gitdownyer
Trail: gityonder
Jump: yatlowper

yourguitarhero

Member
Turbo-Bastard-Thunder-C**t.

Take my money 🤣

Our latest fully rigid – “Hard on”.
Long travel fork hardtail – “Semi”.
Full sus – “Floppy”.

The very good value Laura trott hard tail was imaginatively titled “MTB-1”

They sold like hot cakes and there were rumors of an MTB-2 which never realy transpired.

Maybe it was purely a loss leader as it was a fair bit over specced for the price.

Even blokes were buying them despite the ‘women specific’ ‘saddle’ and ‘geometry’.

Just goes to show you can call a bike anything and even paint it in ‘female friendly’ white and purple and it will sell if the spec is competitive for the price.

On that basis, my brand would be :

“I’m a total”

Models being..

Lazy bastard – ebike
Queen – anything that can take a mud guard
Poser – any FS

I think that covers all types of bike.
Then the iterations would just be 1, 1.1….2.0 etc..

Could also mix it up a bit for neiche crossover bikes..

Lazy queen
Poser Bastard

Etc.. Hahaha!

Fungal-ashtray

Honest Bikes.

180mm full suss. Model name “Down”

120mm 29er hard tail. Model name “Up”

140mm full suss. Model name “Average(ish)”

700c 28mm max tyre drop bar. Model name “Mamil”

Kaka Toa
Kaka Pantz
Kaka Peu-Peu
Kaka Parapa

New bike company:
Two Wheel All Terrain Bike Co.