I don’t really know how to start this. It is not a pity me thread, more of a Do you get this? sort of thing.

I have a nice life with a nice wife and all of the nice stuff that goes with it so please understand this is not about being denied stuff and is not a plea for help. It is intended as a chance for people to let out their thoughts a bit without being judged.

We started watching the 2009 Sherlock movie but Mrs WCA got bored and went to bed. I found myself a bit connected with Sherlock – self centred, intelligent but unhappy. I decided to flick to a YouTube clip of Brothers in Arms as there is a lyric that inspired a recent painting of mine. Loose connection but it happened. Next up came Pink Floyd with Shine on You Crazy Diamond and it sounded like a song against me.

I know Sherlock is fiction and I know Sid Barret inspired the song but recently I keep seeing these parallels.

Just life or do I talk to someone?

Next **** youtude recommendation song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjEq-r2agqc&ab_channel=PeterGabriel

Paranoia is one of several indicators of poor mental health.

I know I can feel it closing. Not sure who I can talk to. At least on a public forum I can deny it as a hoax

Claim your account has been hacked later if need be! 😉

More seriously I can’t really picture what it is you’re feeling as I’ve not seen the film / fully know the lyrics. Leaving that aside I do think the current situation has put a lot of pressure on people who would normally chunter along not thinking about this stuff or maybe be busy enough not to notice.

I think at the moment being intelligent, “into something” (e.g. bikes) and active is potentially a pretty dangerous combination for best mental health. Combined with those things is often a pressure of work and/or on time, the desire to do lots for mental and physical fulfilment and also enough intelligence to see just how screwy things really might be out there in the world. Take someone like that and hamstring them, restrict them in a way that prevents them challenging and occupying themselves and it has the potential to wreak havoc – overthinking, lack of stimulus turning bad things inward. For lots of people they’re definitely operating under more challenging domestic and work situations than ever, running at a lower level of face to face social contact etc.

Now on paper and in objective reality of course there are potentially any number of people who might arguably “have it worse” but the thing about mental health is it’s not triggered by objective measurement of the situation. So many of the “MTFU” brigade don’t get this.

Only you and maybe MrsWCA knows how things really are. I wish you well regardless.

Garage Dweller – well written

I am not suicidal, just upset.

I have a great job that I enjoy but my real pleasure comes from helping others (BBB, Souuthampton Bike Park) and now find I have no purpose of any value beyond the day to day me.

I am struggling

I get it matey.

For no reason at times I just start having downer type thoughts or get paranoid when there really isn’t any need to. And then I think… is it just me?

Quite often it happens when I’m lacking sleep and start overthinking things. Bit of a pain though because I’m not sleeping great because I’ve been struggling with a bit of anxiety (work stress) – so this is a vicious circle.

I find that if I’m getting enough sleep and also got a 1 or 2 things to look forward to / focus on every week (eg bike ride) then that helps me get on.

Not sure if that helps… :-/

What Garage-Dweller said 👌🏼

This is an accurate description of what chronic stress does to your brain:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heal-your-brain/201107/depression-and-anxiety-disorders-damage-your-brain

Hey WCA, I’ve recently been looking to help and support a local charity through my work role. I met the founder of #Brocheck the other day and it sounds the sort of place that may interest you… Plus others. Its on Facebook, private group and its a place to chat openly about mental health with others who are going through similar issues. Here’s a link to the article about the charity. And just search #Brocheck on Facebook.
Hope it may help. https://www.midweekherald.co.uk/news/brocheck-mental-health-support-group-1-6933957

and now find I have no purpose of any value beyond the day to day me.

This is not uncommon.  In the main an especially right now we’ve all been living Groundhog Day laced with negative news for 10 months now.  Even as an introverted person I’m feeling the effects of not being out and about doing something different.

Currently going through my second work acquisition of the year and all the disorganisation that goes with it on top of end end of year Sales push and on top of that trying to manage my bike training plan, whilst this year finally trained myself to be un-materialistic.  So I’m stressed, trying to manage my diet and can’t / won’t buy toys as a quick fix.   Yesterday – forced into doing nothing all day as I have a hard training test today – I just felt extremely tired, frustrated and felt restricted with the inflexibility of it all with my mind spinning at 100mph.

After I came through a 30min meditative period late afternoon I realised why; the financial plan we’d put in place for when the kids leave / early retirement is 12 years away minimum – I’ve been wishing it forward for months bringing a mental strain to the day to day activities which I’ve been unconsciously wanting to sack off for a brighter future which is very far away – too far, leading to an unrealistic daily expectation.

A bit of a ramble sorry (I think I probably wanted that off much chest) but perhaps WCA you are feeling this because we are all spending a lot more time looking inward and questioning who or what we are living for these days.   I did read an internet piece about “hope” from Mark Manson which compared this mental challenge with medieval times;  in those days the majority were born with little hope of changing their lot.  They woke, did the same tasks, ate, drank and stayed alive, sleep, repeat with little further expectation.  Today we live with a myriad of choices, direction and change which very recently have been denied to us.  As our today brains live in hope and expectation of fluctuating change and distraction in all aspects of life on a daily basis, to have much of that removed causes this now spare channel of externally sourced input to be used for introspective thought and causes the wiring to go a bit haywire.  Maybe we just have an empty channel / bored ego determined to stir up some excitement by generating the inflection, reflection and paranoia you are experiencing, who knows.

Feeling similar, i lost my job last year, was at home for 9 months, got a new job and started day before lockdown. New jobs great, even got an email on Friday from my boss telling me how much ge enjoyed working with me, never had that before.

Been WFH since the start of lockdown, only met a handful of colleagues face to face. Grounding day is now getting to me. Going out on the bike this morning, first time since i started working.

The selfishness of others is also getting to me. Daughter is 16 at ballet school in Manchester, living in student accommodation. All 5 in her flat have had Covid (thanks to one of them blatantly ignoring the rules). Now a girl at school has tested positive (lived at home, mum was positive, but kept coming in anyway) so they’ve got to self isolate again.

Anyway yes, a lot of us feel like you, I lead a trail building group, we’re really missing the social interaction, physical exercise and sense of achievement. I think the comments above about more productive people suffering is very true.

And now it’s started raining, it was supposed to be nice all day, could really do with a break to reset life and get back on the upward spiral again.

Might still go out, need to feel like I’ve got some control of my life back.

These are strange times. I’ve got a fantastic family, beautiful wife, great job, nice house etc. Yet the restrictions on life coupled with the lack of a light at the end of the tunnel have brought a kind of numbness that prevents me from appreciating everything. I’m not sleeping great and as stumpyjon said, there is kind of a groundhog day feeling. I really miss the gym which is a massive part of my life.

To address this I have been keeping a journal to log my feelings which helps. I’m also setting targets and objectives through the week that I know will make me feel good if I can be bothered to do them. Don’t beat yourself up and don’t feel that you are alone.

This is not uncommon. In the main an especially right now we’ve all been living Groundhog Day laced with negative news for 10 months now. Even as an introverted person I’m feeling the effects of not being out and about doing something different.

You are definitely not alone. Talk to your GP. If nothing else they can reassure you, or point you to local groups who could help you – or who might appreciate someone who likes helping others

beautiful wife

Needs pics, obvs 😉

Good advice MCTD.  Personally speaking I think because of my prior efforts in anxiety/ introspective management I’m educated enough to spot issues and have “tools” to manage them before they become a problem. Many don’t have that background though so threads like this are important should people be reading in the background and not willing to post.  You are correct I the latter, we’ve been doing some little things like helping food banks and stuff, but even random acts of kindness – helping a lady at the local tip recently – seem to be met with much greater appreciation and such an interaction appeared as good for me as it was for her.

Did my workout and decide to have a full on pamper rather than quick shower, so am sitting here refreshed, beard trimmed, shaved, stinking of brut in some nicer-than-lounging-at-home clothes for a change.  Small things like this can top up your self esteem a little.

Well I went for my ride, worst time ever, bike wouldn’t shift into the big ring and everything now hurts a lot. Really glad I went, feel like I’ve taken a little bit of control back. One day at a time, might even drag the exercise bike out tomorrow and spin that for 30 mins. Properly cleaned the drive train when I got back, chain was really bad, ashamed of myself really, in 15 years of riding I’ve never let a chain get that bad.

nicer-than-lounging-at-home clothes for a change.

I even put a shirt on for work this week, might do that more often and try and shave a bit more.

I think Krytens got the right idea, do something good and then a bit of self reward.

WCA, thanks for starting the thread, don’t feel bad you’re feeling bad, your not alone. Me and my wife were talking about something similar, if we don’t use every minute of a weekend doing something we feel we’ve wasted it, sometimes just need to chill, I suppose the trick is you deciding when to chill, not have it forced on you by lockdown or curtailment of normal activities.

so am sitting here refreshed, beard trimmed, shaved, stinking of brut in some nicer-than-lounging-at-home clothes for a change

Need pics, obvs.