I’ll raise my hand and say I’ll be accidentally circumcised if I can have £20k afterwards. That’s like seven or eight bikes.

Me too. In fact I’d lose my jacket for a couple of K if offered I think. How many 70 year olds actually go in for a circumcision though? You have thought it would be sufficiently unusual that you’d be querying it.

When I lived in Turkey I went to the circumcision party of the 7yr old son of a guy that I worked with. Loads of us there (200+) and the little dude dressed up like a prince laying on a bed. Doctor (I hope it was a doctor!) whipped it off and then held it up for the crowd who all cheered. All the western men there cringing with than sympathetic pain you get when you see someone else kicked in the knackers. It’s all part of becoming a man though so it was important that the kid showed no fear/pain so he sat there trying to keep it all in. Poor little fella walked around like John Wayne for days.

I wonder if the old chap is happy with the amount of exposure he’s getting?

How many 70 year olds actually go in for a circumcision though?

Quite a few.

The risk of developing Phimosis (the main reason patients have circumcisions) increases with age.

The risk of developing Phimosis (the main reason patients have circumcisions) increases with age.

Joy. Adds to the list of happy reasons it’s good getting older.

At least it was done properly, a discount circumcision is a rip off.

Doctor (I hope it was a doctor!)

Presumably it’s a mohel (or equivalent), not a doctor?

There was a doctor who used to save up all the wee bits of skin in a jar from the circumcisions he did. When he retired he stitched them together and made a wallet. He showed it to his wife who said “after all those years you can only make a wallet?”. “Ah” he replied “just wait, when I rub it it becomes a suitcase!”

They normally come round with a dirty big permanent marker first – god knows what they pointed it at (and it’s the surgeon that marks you up).

And the person who was down for the circumcision? How’s he doing? Not impressed really. Can snigger all you like, but as already mentioned, systems failures like this lead to the removal of healthy kidneys instead of diseased. Not as rare as you might think, and often fatal.

The breast cancer mastectomy is a failure of diagnosis (false positive) not a failure of a admin system. Such false positives (and false negatives) are awful but, sadly, unavoidable as no test is ever perfect. Surgical errors are “never happen” events.

https://www.cqc.org.uk/news/stories/learning-never-events

Those of you who think it’s funny wouldn’t be laughing if it happened to you.

Sorry. It’s clearly a sore point.

I love a good “male circumcision is comparable to female genital mutilation” argument.

Your concern for my former foreskin is touching (the inside of my boxers).

Can snigger all you like, but as already mentioned, systems failures like this lead to the removal of healthy kidneys instead of diseased

No one is laughing at those ones.

funkmasterp

To be fair £20k for trimming a 70 year old man’s 70 year old man is pretty good. I’m bookmarking this for when if I reach 70

I can assure you, as a 70+ year old man, it remains in good working order if you stay fit, so it’s as much a loss as for a young man.

Just to those complaining about the jokes here, I’d like to point out that:

1) Yes it is bad. That’s why it’s funny.
2) No it’s not as bad as cutting someone’s tits off, that’s too bad to be funny.
3) Yes it is genital mutilation, however the complications are far less likely and less severe than FGM.
4) Pretty sure you don’t know me if you don’t think I’d be dining out on this story for the rest of my life if it happened to me. £20k would make it OK.

This is one of the reasons we use magic markers on the foreheads of patients for our cataract surgery service, and everyone from the HCA to the theatre nurses to the surgeon ask “which eye are you expecting us to operate on today”

Poor theatre procedure from someone

Still, it is sort of funny.

“which eye are you expecting us to operate on today”

The Japanese one.

I’d say he’s a lucky man. He’s £20k in his pocket and a shiny new helmet to boot (not to kick – that’d hurt). And as someone said – he’s never gonna develop phimosis.

Win win. And he knows he can handle anaethesisa which will make any future surgery less worrying.

Having been delivered to the wrong operating theatre by 2 nurses I an easily see how these things happen. They buggered off leaving me in a 7 year old girls dress, slightly tripping on pre mess. I had to explain I was not Ian, but Rob and in fact was due a double hernia repair. I then had to push my own trolly, with another nurse into a lift and up 1 floor to the correct theatre. All within a year of my dad died after a NHS cock up. It was far from reassuring

systems failures like this

I blame the cuts.

(Is this funny? Possibly not, but it does provide an opportunity for a tsunami of knob gags. Actually what is the collective noun?)

A cockle?

It’s all part of becoming a man though so it was important that the kid showed no fear/pain so he sat there trying to keep it all in. Poor little fella walked around like John Wayne for days.

I don’t think it’s necessary to cut bits off my son while he tries not to show fear, so he can become a man.
If you are an adult and you want to modify your body for non medical reasons, crack on. Doing it to kids who are too young to properly consent is just abusive.

Did no one glans at his notes?

I love a good “male circumcision is comparable to female genital mutilation” argument.

Is that why you’ve just made one up?

(failed attempt to embed video).

failed attempt to embed video

Should’ve gone private.

Gone tubeless eh?

As an act of revenge he could deep fry it and drop it in the doctor’s bag of hula hoops.

As an act of revenge he could deep fry it and drop it in the doctor’s bag of hula hoops

Always wondered what they were made of

I don’t think it’s necessary to cut bits off my son while he tries not to show fear, so he can become a man.
If you are an adult and you want to modify your body for non medical reasons, crack on. Doing it to kids who are too young to properly consent is just abusive.

I’m not saying I agree with the sentiment – I was merely a (horrified) bystander/ guest. Fact remains that this is a reality for millions of small boys every year. I’m not convinced however that I am in any place to condemn just because it is completely alien to my cultural norm.

I’ll raise my hand and say I’ll be accidentally circumcised if I can have £20k afterwards. That’s like seven or eight bikes.

Bikes you could potentially never ride if it goes wrong and you end in constant pain!

I didn’t think my original post would create such a backlash.
Is it possible to retract it?

Bikes you could potentially never ride if it goes wrong and you end in constant pain!

Falling off one of your 7 free bikes may well do that to you.

Bikes you could potentially never ride if it goes wrong and you end in constant pain!

Existence is pain. £20k would be like taking Ibuprofen. If bikes wouldn’t work I’d be able to buy a really comfy chair to help sooth my balls.

I can’t believe all those saying it’s not funny (that’s a lie I’m on STW after all. Home of the angels who inhabit the moral high ground). Do you punish yourself after watching stand up? It’s a dick mishap, everyone loves a good penis error.

I’m not saying I agree with the sentiment

I’m not suggesting you are agreeing with child circumcision

I’m not convinced however that I am in any place to condemn just because it is completely alien to my cultural norm.

I’m not condemning it “just because it is completely alien to my cultural norm”. I think it’s abuse of a child
There’s an interview today, on BBC World Service, with a man who experiences constant discomfort because of his childhood circumcision. It also compromises his sex life. His opinion is that “it’s disgusting that it is still happening today”.

Genital mutilation is genital mutilation, no matter of you are male or female.  It’s still damaging the genitals of a person without consent.  The physical complications have very little bearing.

Agree. The people who are essentially saying “it’s ok because I had it and I am fine/well hard/a man” seem to be displaying classic toxic masculinity 😀

Who exactly has said they Rayban?

It’s a totally unnecessary procedure unless done for medical reasons. Keeping it going on kids for cultural reasons needs abolished it’s just not required.

Ooh I know this one Drac. Nobody, nobody has stated any of those things. I’m just wondering if someone else had bladder botox.

Drac

Subscriber

Who exactly has said they Rayban?

Probably his brother, but he’s actually fine with the situation.

I’m surprised this thread is still going, thought it would’ve come to a big end by now

Edit; never mind. Not getting into this again.

<snip>

Is it not the same as getting your tonsils or appendix removed unnecessarily?
Yes something could go wrong and require the surgery, but otherwise it’s just an unnecessary risk.