Little techniques in life that make you all of TEH AWSUM!

I can open a matchbox and light a match all using one hand pnly

Yet typing gives you so many problems…

I can open a matchbox and light a match all using one hand pnly

Yet typing gives you so many problems…

Well, sometimes what i’m doing with the other hand distracts me

No awsum skillz here. Though in the spirit of some of the less awsum ones already posted, I can stretch a johnny over my head eyes and nose and then inflate it into a giant balloon busby hat. 8)

You start with;

No awsum skillz here

But then….

I can stretch a johnny over my head eyes and nose and then inflate it into a giant balloon busby hat

You, sir, are ALL OF TEH AWSUM AWSUMNEZ!

I think this is an excellent thread.

dd I too have a whole load of redundant smoking skills. I am wondering what transferable elements there are to being able to blow a smoke ring down a pool queue.

Pen spinning FTW.

I am wondering what transferable elements there are to being able to blow a smoke ring down a pool queue

*swoons* 😆

I can also throw a ball over my shoulder and catch it behind my back. 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

I can blow a perfect bubble ranging in size from half a cm, to maybe 1.5 cm that floats away in the breeze, made from my own spit, blown off my tongue. I learnt it from Chuck Norris.

I have a friend who can make a noise just like Chewbacca but I could never work out how to do it. Was dead convincing too.

Oh, I can juggle, kinda, and poi a three-beat weave, kinda.

Actually, I can do a lot of things, kinda. I’m a regular ‘jack of all trades and master of the square root of geoff all.’

I can* punch a hole through a bar mat/coaster (the card ones) with my little finger.

*can = used to.

I once cleared half a pub with a fart 😀

Used to be able to do the knotted cherry stalk with my tongue thing. Haven’t tried that for a while though.

I have prehensile feet.

Can also do the carrying four full pints thing.

slainte 😀 rob

I have a friend who can make a noise just like Chewbacca but I could never work out how to do it. Was dead convincing too.

Convincing? You mean you actually thought Chewbacca was there!?

I can flick my denture (missing three upper front teeth) out with my tongue, which – when coupled with the right hat – pretty much transforms me into a Somerset version of the hick from Deliverance.

i once flipped 25 bar mats.

I’ve balanced a tower of 30-40 2p pieces on my elbow then flicked my arm round & caught them all still lined up

Am I great yet ? 😐

Ee, I’ve not done the ‘coins on the elbow’ thing since I was about 14. *Goes to raid the copper jar*

Did you ever do that to some random well-dressed people in Rock City, Nottingham ?

Why on earth would I be in Nottingham? And do the people of Nottingham even have condoms to snort? 😯

pretty much transforms me into a Somerset version of the hick from Deliverance.

i thought the hick from deliverance was from somerset 😉

I think an stw meet should take place in a remote country pub with a big camping field – bikes banned for the weekend

Instead we can have “indoor league” (Ton can be Fred Trueman?) type games such as beermat and 2p tossing, jonny snorting etc, maybe some olympic smoke rings too

Then as we wander off to our tents, leaving the big-hitters scrapping it out in the bogs, noteeth and …? can spark up the banjos

hang on, …..

One hundred !

I’d be up for that, depending on time and geography. The inaugural STW Pub Olympics.

Evidence of my awsumness/lameness – shutter too slow on my phone to catch it mid-flight, but I blew this from my fair mouth……

*edit* – Travelodge carpet, not my tragedy.

@CharlieMungus, can do the one handed thing with the match but also flick the matchbox throught the air and catch it with my left hand in the same movement. Double trumps(no fart pun intended)

Pfft. Your mum thought it was cool.

😆

I am the bloke in the top

WIN! ^

They look like Henrys are they Henrys?

Are you mixing Euros and Circus in that shot?

Chris is juggling Henrys, I’m on Euros

i thought the hick from deliverance was from somerset

Don’t ever go canoeing on the River Brue…

the sub 30 second asphyxiwank is certainly the most useful technique in my repertoire..

On second thoughts, cancel the pub olympics. It’s all gone a bit public school.

Oh come off it.. you surely can’t deny the usefulness of the technique..
It’s xmas day at the in-laws.. somewhere between xmas pud and the queens speech..

a quick stressbuster behind the gazebo on the pretext of taking some leftovers out for the robins is tradition surely..?

S’maybe not a pub activity but it certainly helps make life awesome

Correctly pronounce “Leroy Merlin”, “But”, “Lagiole”, “Moët”… .

I can make it from the baby’s cot in the nursery to my own bed or back down stairs without activating any squeaky floor boards (it’s a very specific route as 99% of the floor area is squeaky) and I can ascend any staircase at speed in total silence. I’m like some indoor suburban ninja!

I can wiggle my eyebrows independently. That is all.

So good, I wrote it twice

I can drink half a bottle of whisky and not be pissed

I can wiggle my eyebrows independently. That is all.

I can do that too, not hard at all!

Not allowed to use your fingers!