Lentil soup

Sweet baby Jesus! One small bowl of it at lunch time today, and the results are there for all to smell! Wife is out, she’ll no be happy when she comes in and gets a lungful of our living room…… 😯

Lighting your farts clears the smell.

Maybe.

Christ, you know when yer farts are bad when they even appall you!.

Looking out the window here, there’s a dank fog coming up over the moor….

It’s day in, day out with me. I can hardly bear to live with myself. I suspect my muesli with dried fruit habit is behind it.

Bacon and lentil = smells before and after.

Anyway real men produce great farts from any food.

I am single*

*I am not single

I can’t even begin to describe the gas produced from my chicken & sprout tikka I had for lunch made with leftovers from last night 😮

Chicken and sprout tikka, what were you thinking. Clearly that should have been a jalfrezi.

Well you see I did a whole roast tandoori Chicken on Sunday that the leftovers got turned into a tikka and the sprouts just sort of fell into the mix.

Could have been worse my wife once made a huge sprout curry when she was a student & even the hardened veggie housemates admitted to frightening levels of trumpage 😀

Lentils always do it for me, proper stinky rear if I eat anything containing them haha

You’re not Neil the hippy from The Young Ones are you?

Chicken and sprout tikka – I had a turkey, sprout and chorizo stir fry last night. I’m still guffing now. Wife is unimpressed*

* secretly she is though**

** that’s not true.

Ah, sprouts…. Whilst I will happily avoid lentils, sprouts are a joy, and everyone around me will just have to live with the waftage.

Well I am now producing enough gas to fill a barrage balloon, though it’s now fuelled by shallots as I put about 20 in with my industrial size sausage casserole 😀

Many moons ago I read in Viz that Johnny Fartpant’s favourite meal was baked beans, with sprouts and pickled eggs.
Being a naive young student, I thought it would be fun to try it.
Oh.
My.
God.
It was evil, strong enough to make your eyes sting and I couldn’t sleep as every time I farted the smell woke me up. I was scared to turn the light on, just in case the spark caused the whole room to explode.
It took two days to fully clear my system. I’ve been wary of pickled eggs ever since…

It’s day in, day out with me. I can hardly bear to live with myself. I suspect my muesli with dried fruit habit is behind it.

For those who are a bit ‘guffy’, try this diet – it’s evidence backed, and eliminates the fermenting foodstuffs from the diet.

It’s seriously like day and night with regards to trumpsville…

DrP

Thanks DrP, that looks like a major overhaul of my eating patterns. Gluten-free? argh!
Are you a real doctor?

Tomato and lentil soup for my lunch today, MrsMomo is in for a treat tonight 😉

Question to DrP.

Why would anyone want a trump-free diet? Have you got the inverse, one that’s guaranteed wind central? After 14 years of marriage, i need to exact a form of retribution.

Try hitting up the nicotine pills for a few months. The phenylalanine guarantees a constant stream of bum pumps pretty much at will. No longer sure if I’m addicted to the nicotine or the hilarious arse japes.

Are you a real doctor?

You can trust me… 😉

Why would anyone want a trump-free diet?

True.
Working in a small office, with a steady flow if citizens in and out every 10 minutes, means I can easily blame the smells on the previous punter I suppose…!

DrP

Veggie curry on Saturday.

Lamb Rogan Josh on Sunday.

Two days of leftovers.

Birds are falling, lifeless, from the sky as I walk down the street.

That fart-reduced diet presumably works in the other direction, if one avoid all the goody stuff on the left.

Friend of mine has a Giant Schnauser whose favourite foods are broccoli and sprouts. I don’t actually need to type anything further here, do I?

i heard a bloke on the R4 Food Programme banging on about genetically modified beans that did not create flatulence. The interviewer commented, ‘Does that mean I will be able to eat a five-bean salad and then lay a carpet with confidence?’