LBS question of the day

“Are Campagnolo still French?”

(“no, they changed nationalities”)

😛

‘Do you sell bikes?’

‘Can you sell me a pump for this?’ then pulls out a deflated blow up doll….

Will you match crc on this? And fit it for free?
Overheard in LBS a bit ago…

“Did you have a problem sorting it?”

“Nope, very easy if you have the right tools.”

It’s nice to have a competent workshop at the same place I leave my bike while I’m at work 🙂

Are the ‘tubes’ on your bikes solid?

(No, that’s why they’re called tubes). This was followed by accusations of selling substandard bikes…

Will you match crc on this? And fit it for free?

that is not such a big deal as CRC arent that cheap most of the time.

clubber – Member

Are the ‘tubes’ on your bikes solid?

(No, that’s why they’re called tubes). This was followed by accusations of selling substandard bikes…
I need to know more about this conversation….

🙂

Customer – pointing to a Cannondale – what’s this made of?
Me – Aluminium, butted (this is a while back and not all alu frames were butted then) so it’s thinner in the middle of the tube, to save weight.
Customer (horrified) – you mean they’re not solid?
Me – er…
Me – er… well, no of course not. Bikes are made up of tubes. They’d weigh a ton otherwise.
Customer – Mine aren’t. Mine are solid.
Me – (trying to remain polite with a customer) I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be – I’ve never heard of a frame made up of solid ‘tubes’ – they’d be rods afterall…
Customer – it definitely is. There’s no way it’d be strong enough otherwise. These must be really weak.
Me – er…
Customer wanders off muttering about substandard bikes…

Customers, eh? 🙂

Customers morons , eh?

FTFY 🙂

The same bloke asked “what percentage lighter are carbon bikes over aluminium?”

My tyre’s flat, but only at the bottom.

‘Yes sir we are just sorting your (new, £70 halfords bso) bike now. the rear wheel was a little out of true so we are fixing that.’

‘I dont want it fixing, I want a new one.’

‘I can assure you sir, once the wheel is trued it will be fine. you see, these wheels are churned out by a machine and sometimes we have to make adjustments.’

‘I’m not having that. I’ve been cycling for 35 years and I know that machine built wheels are much better than handbuilt ones. Get the manager.’

*gets manager*

Basically the bloke ranted and raved about how shit I was, and he got his new wheel.

”do the large bikes cost the same as the smaller ones?”

“Got any Claud Butlers mate?”

“No sorry”

“Aaah sh*t bike shop then innit”

Customer ‘Ive seen a bike on your website, it was red’
Me ‘ We have a lot of bikes on the website can you remember what bike it was?’
Customer ‘ No, but it was your website cant you just check and see what I was looking at?’
Me ‘???…..um no!’
Customer ‘ But its your website’

it’s a good question, why can’t you look at your own website?

My tyre’s flat, but only at the bottom.

Don’t laugh. I had that a few weeks ago. He gently squeezed a tyre that was about 15psi, and said that when he got on the bike, it was soft, but only at the bottom.

So, I explained tyre pressures to him, after showing I could nearly pull the tyre off it was so soft. To be honest, it’s a question you HAVE to be prepared to answer correctly and patiently. Doesn’t bother me to be helpful 🙂

do the large bikes cost the same as the smaller ones?

This is a regular question.

They had looked at it on their computer at home and wanted me to look up what they had been browsing, I did explain it rather badly I admit.
Basically customer was suprised we couldnt access web history from their home computer in store.

-Do you sell innertubes?
*Yes, they are £5.99
-Great i’ll have one. What pressure should i run in it?
* 35 to 40psi will see you right
-Oh, can you put 40psi in it now, then i can just fit it when i get home….

“Are Campagnolo still French?”

Well, to be fair, Mavic (I stand to be corrected) are now owned by a Finnish company… 8)

Just opened the shop and the phone goes . Me ” Hello Eurocycles” Him “I’m out cycling and there’s a no cycling sign at Cringle Reservoir What does that mean”? Me ” I assume it means you can’t cycle there ” I was at this point thinking it was a wind up but it appears that it wasn’t . Him ” But I was wanting to cycle across the dam”. Me ” Phone the water board it’s their sign , we’re a bike shop not a public information service ” . He puts the phone down .

The odd/dumb/annoying customer questions are nothing compared to endless cold calling for ppi and te like

Hmmm nothing too brilliant so far today, just a MILLION questions about an INNER TUBE then pay with a card 😡

Many years ago;
Scrote enters shop, “Mate, got any Oakleys?”
Self, standing by a big shiny cabinet stuffed to bursting with optical pron from the Big O, “We certainly do, sir, here”
Scrote, “Nah, man…OAKLEYS!”
Self, refers scrote to original answer.
Scrote, “‘Kin ‘ell mate, donchewno what Oakleys is? Stickers, bruv, stickers!”

Self – Directs scrote to the door.

which shop is this?

Not a bike shop related anecdote, but I was once the manager of a Virgin Megastore and was called to the floor as there was a customer who wished to make a complaint about not being able to use a gift voucher. When he handed me over the voucher it had HMV written across the front in big letters. I explained in a patient and reasonable manner that the voucher had been paid for and issued by our main rivals, and sir could travel less then 10 minutes on the tube to their nearest store where he could use the voucher. I even gave him the HMV store address and directions. Was I met with a slightly embarrassed thank you? No, he went on to moan that he would have to spend money and time going on the tube to HMV, and that in the name of customer service we should honour the voucher. I explained I could not offer customer service as technically he was not a customer. He walked off muttering how he would never shop here again! I was very tempted to point out that to not shop here again would involve shopping with me in the first instance, not giving my competitor free money and expecting me to give him free CD’s in return.

Dark Side: I bet you weren’t HMV’s employee of the month that month.

do the large bikes cost the same as the smaller ones?

This is a regular question.

Not that unreasonable is it? Given the price of raw materials these days. Surely there would be a bit of difference between an XS and an XL in terms of raw material costs?

Not that unreasonable is it? Given the price of raw materials these days. Surely there would be a bit of difference between an XS and an XL in terms of raw material costs?

I heard that some unscrupulous manufacturers build the large bikes with hollow frames to keep the material costs the same!

My tailors have started varying the price of their suits based on ones chest, waist and inside leg measurements.

My tailors have started varying the price of their suits based on ones chest, waist and inside leg measurements.

CRC do suits now?

Customer – Mine aren’t. Mine are solid.

thinking about this – did he not wonder what happened to the seatpost when it went into the frame?

wwaswas – Member
Customer – Mine aren’t. Mine are solid.

thinking about this – did he not wonder what happened to the seatpost when it went into the frame?

It seems thinking wasn’t his strong point.

My tailors have started varying the price of their suits based on ones chest, waist and inside leg measurements.

Well my wedding ring was more expensive in my size than the same ring in smaller sizes.

thinking about this – did he not wonder what happened to the seatpost when it went into the frame?

Or BB. Or steerer tube? Must. Not. Apply. Logic….

I daren’t enquire as to the price of a suitably sized willy ring 😉

“I spent over 2 thousand pounds with you on this bike a few weeks ago, during which you fitted a bottom bracket of your choosing. I’ve done less than a hundred miles and there is lots of friction there, it’s not really rideable . Can you take a look please? Perhaps it was fitted wrongly, or the part has failed prematurely.”

“No we’re too busy, bring it back in 9 days”.

About a month back I was in my LBS having life breathed back into my knackered old FSR. In front of me was some prat with a mint looking Lapierre full susser being dropped in for a service.

The conversation went something like this…

Prat “I think that the bottom bracket has gone too”
Mechanic (gives it a waggle) “That’s fine that is”
Prat “I’m getting a bit of play”
Mechanic (after a further more vigorous waggle) “Nope, It’s OK”
Pratt “So it is OK?”
Mechanic “Yes”
Pratt “Can’t you change it anyway?”
Mechanic “errr… if you want me to”
Pratt “Better change it then. Just do it and give me the bad news when I pick it up.”

Then louder to the rest of the shop

“Bloody thing is costing me a fortune.”

regarding cost vs size, I used to work for a building fixings form that made expansion bolts in various sizes. The small ones cost more to make than the large ones as the machining was more complex but the rate card was inverted, the smaller ones were cheaper to the customer, because that’s what the market expected.

One I witnessed:

Lad: Hiya, my bike’s booked in for its free 6 week check up & tune.
LBS: Ok sir, where is it?
Lad: Hang on.

Off he goes & comes back a minute or two later.

Lad: Here you go.
LBS: Sorry sir, that doesn’t qualify for a free once-over.
Lad: Why not? I’ts exactly 6 weeks old.
LBS Yes sir, but you didn’t buy it here.
Lad: How do you know that?
LBS: We don’t stock Cannondale.
Lad: Oh. Well my mate got a free check on his bike in here.
LBS: Did he buy it from us?
Lad: Well, err, yeah.
LBS: There you go then, you buy from here we look after you and your bike.
Lad: That’s not really fair is it?
LBS: Well yes it is, isn’t it. I’m sure the shop you bought that from will offer the same.
Lad: They do but they’re right up north & don’t have any shops in London or Kent.
LBS: I guess you could post it or, alternatively, we’ll do a basic service & I’ll take a fiver off as a goodwill gesture.
Lad: How much is that then?
LBS: £30 + any parts needed.
Lad: £30! That’s f*****g daylight robbery… I’m not having that!

He storms off.

LBS: Goodbye sir.