We already know that wearing a flouro or “jobsworth” jacket is a good juju, you can step out in front of a speeding truck or moving forklift and they will bounce off you. Now office workers have an equivalent:

Lanyard-wearers believe it protects them from witches

I wear both so I’m safe from witches driving lorries.

I have a cscs card in the back of mine.

It wards off workies

My grandad had a Webley Mk VI on the end of his lanyard. He was never troubled by witches.

I am a witch.

Witch witch are you ?

If only it were so. I don’t wear mine out of the office and the only time I have trouble with witches is IN the office.

Some people in the office wear their ID badge on a belt clip, to avoid looking like a wally with a lanyard. But it’s a bit disconcerting that they often clip it to a belt loop at the front of their trousers so if you want to read their name it looks like you’re staring at their cock 🙁

I actually wear mine clipped to my cock

I actually wear mine clipped to my cock

A manyard?

Some people in the office wear their ID badge on a belt clip, to avoid looking like a wally with a lanyard. But it’s a bit disconcerting that they often clip it to a belt loop at the front of their trousers so if you want to read their name it looks like you’re staring at their cock

I the US a lot of companies get people to wear badges clipped to belts as they see it as safer than lanyards. The pads for electronic locks are then positioned at a height that enables people to just walk up to the lock and the door to open. When this fails you end up with ‘wall humping’ as people waive their crotches about to try and trigger the lock.

I actually wear mine clipped to my cock

I wear a watch on mine just in case someone says ‘Have you got the time on yer cock?’ and I can give a triumphant ‘As it happens!’

Witch witch are you ?

*twitches*

Woah, Woah, Woah!!

Not all office workers wear lanyards you know!!!!!!

A manyard?

I’m happy with 6 inches 🙁

I have 12 inches but don’t use it as a rule.

Lol @ slowoldman.

I’ve got my work ID on a retractble elasticated  thingy, so I can pull out as much length as I need, depending on how close what I want to touch is….

@mattoutandabout

do you do voodoo?

*twitches*

t’witches, surely

*groans*

I’ve got my work ID on a retractble elasticated  thingy, so I can pull out as much length as I need, depending on how close what I want to touch is….

I bet you have a shirt with a breast pocket with a select section of biros in it, and a red stapler too. 😉

We are supposed to wear lanyards, but I’m one of the cool rebels, so I don’t.

<b>@mattoutandabout </b>

I don’t do but  used to have a guru called Hugh who tried to combine  judo with cluedo, but mostly in the loo, though…an art he learnt from a mau mau mu mu, skilled in the practice of chuff chuff ju-ju.

We are supposed to wear lanyards, but I’m one of the cool rebels, so I don’t.

Wearing them outside of the office is against the rules, it lets people target you if they want to get in. So if you were a true rebel you’d wear it.

Not only do I wear hi-viz, but I have two lanyards, one with a dongle for opening certain doors, and the other for my walky-talkie, because trying to carry it hooked on a pocket just means it gets caught on cars as I’m getting in and out a dropping on the floor, and possibly breaking, with financial implications. I haven’t been in the job long enough to discover who the witches are that the lanyard fends off.

My hi-viz has a little pocket for my ID so I don’t need to use a lanyard which is useful as it’s a snag risk when you’re working off ropes. Not sure if witches are in my RaMs, better check….

I’ve got my work ID on a retractble elasticated  thingy, so I can pull out as much length as I need,

Same as  dezB then

I’ve got my work ID on a retractble elasticated  thingy, so I can pull out as much length as I need,

Yip.

But the best ones are security level blocked. No end of fun watching staff furiously flap plastic at Red X’s whilst pushing 8’x4” glass partition doors, coffee in one hand and log/notebook in the other.

But the best ones are security level blocked. No end of fun watching staff furiously flap plastic at Red X’s whilst pushing 8’x4” glass partition doors, coffee in one hand and log/notebook in the other.

I had one of those once. Higher level security access than some who were higher up the  internal food chain than I was, which gave me a small glow of satisfaction.

I’m with Lucien and Dez.

AAA here. 🙂