Kicked in the Balls!!!

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  • Kicked in the Balls!!!
  • A couple of months ago my 20 month old daughter was in a bit of a mood. Picked her up with her legs flapping at 100 mph and she proceeded to kick me hard in one of my balls. Very painful at the time and i nearly dropped her. 1 1/2 months later my ball has grown to the size of a balloon. Been in and out of hospital for all sorts of scans and one overnight stay and its looking very likely that it will have to be removed. I had also just started a new job and had to take time off due to this but at least it was a good excuse πŸ™‚

    Let this be a warning to anybody with young children. Protect your balls!!! Been off the bike for a while now because of this and probably will be for a while yet.

    Premier Icon SaxonRider
    Subscriber

    I am now in sympathy pain. Thank you. 😯

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    investigate other solutions prior to removal;

    Duane…
    Member

    No excuse for not doing big hucks on the bike.

    yossarian
    Member

    I once managed to punch myself in the bollocks whilst folding a towel.

    be careful out there

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    pick your size

    [/quote]investigate other solutions prior to removal;

    Brilliant πŸ˜€

    organic355
    Member

    anyone else just do an involuntary inhalation of air through their teeth whilst simultaneously bringing their knees together?

    tang
    Member

    I also did some damage pulling up my trousers too quickly. The flailing heavy belt buckle whipped my testi hard, with perfect acuracy. Doctors, pain, more fondling by drs….all good now.

    nick1962
    Member

    What you need is an eagle to teach her a lesson.

    thegreatape
    Member

    Sympathies OP. Had the exact same about 6 months ago. Two days agony then finally went to the GP. Sent me straight to A+E with the reassuring parting shot of ‘just to warn you, you might not come back with them both’.

    After several doctors copping a feel, and an ultrasound, turns out to have been some sort of infection (not nob rot), not a torsion, so I still have it.

    Good luck.

    Premier Icon piedi di formaggio
    Subscriber

    I once managed to punch myself in the bollocks whilst folding a towel

    WTF?????? 😯

    glupton1976
    Member

    See when you do get it lopped off – stay off the EPO and stay away from the TdF.

    bencooper
    Member

    Ah, isn’t Darwinism wonderful – she’s just ensuring that there will be no other offspring to compete with. It’s like the oldest chick pushing younger ones out of the nest.

    RealMan
    Member

    I once managed to punch myself in the bollocks whilst folding a towel.

    LOL πŸ˜†

    I’m kinda interested to find out about your towel folding technique..

    Premier Icon GrahamS
    Subscriber

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3GifphtS6s[/video]

    schrickvr6
    Member

    Damn it, Graham beat me by seconds. πŸ˜€

    logical
    Member

    I’m kinda interested to find out about your towel folding technique..

    Me too. 😯

    retro83
    Member

    Even them up by getting her to kick the other one.

    nbt
    Member

    <tannoy>
    Calling Harry_the_spider, Harry_the_spider to the thread please
    </tannoy>

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I’m kinda interested to find out about your towel folding technique..

    Why, fancy trying it? Weird.

    Frankenstein
    Member

    Holy cow batman!

    Feel for you O.P. ouchy!

    Last time I let my wife chain me up and kick me in the nuts.

    Will need a whip now.

    sugdenr
    Member

    Silver linings?

    1. you have the kid(s) so its largely unnecessary

    2. you have a spare, just in case 1. is invalid

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    pick your size

    FFS, I’ve been trying to ride a bike over various sized obtacles for 12 years and all I had to do was “buy” a pair of bigger ones?

    BigCol
    Member

    Slightly related – playing games with my 20 month old little girl a couple of weeks ago, dangling her upside down above my head. Her arms were flailing around in excitement – unfortunately she managed to wack one of my eyes and her finger nail took a 2mm by 5mm chunk out of my cornea!! couldn’t see out. Down to A&E to get patched up, then had to go back to see a consultant the next morning so he could cut the flap off my cornea that had been left hanging on!! Luckily for me it had fallen off of its own accord over night. Eye just about mended now…

    Safety glasses and a bixe required for playing with toddlers me thinkks….

    grantway
    Member

    LOL that happened to me once by my daughter
    I learnt to pick her up and then pushing away and raise her to my chest

    That really hurts mate

    Premier Icon JoeG
    Subscriber

    1 1/2 months later my ball has grown to the size of a balloon.

    OP -Might you be exaggerating just a little bit?

    Premier Icon themightymowgli
    Subscriber

    I had an accident at work once, falling about 15 ft landing with my legs astride a very metal and unforgiving bar. Paramedics, doctors, nurses all took one look, winced and pushed me on through the hospital. All was fine apart from my balls resembling a pair of auborgines in both size and colour for about a month. I’ve not tried having children yet

    B.A.Nana
    Member

    Whilst out mountain biking, brother of a friend sat down on his saddle only to painfully find the saddle had fallen off. His bits were a bit of a mess for months, altho he did have a permanent erection for about 6 months, a big bruised purple one according to his gf.
    Be careful out there!

    Premier Icon stavromuller
    Subscriber

    When stavro jr. was a toddler, we where on the Settle-Carlisle train and as he was looking out of the window he stepped back onto my plums, which was bad enough but I’d had a vasectomy that week. Mrs. Stavro then proceeded to go nuts with me for swearing in front of him. Talk about insult to injury.

    allthegear
    Member

    Keep the stories coming guys – this thread is making me laugh a lot!!

    Rachel

    Premier Icon tomhoward
    Subscriber

    Mate of mine rode down a massive flight of stairs, stayed sat down. The jackhammer effect of he saddle/plum interface means he now has half the normal allocation of knackers 😯

    theboatman
    Member

    OP’s story made me cry with laughter, and I say this as a man who fractured his knob during a vinegar stroke accident in my earlier twenties (a ruptured tunica, for those of a technical mind) ; i think every doctor and medical student in devon and cornwall got to witness it looking like an aburgine. It was only slightly less embarrassing that having my repaired member photo’ed for medical science, i thought they may lend me a camera……:oops:
    Still all is now fine bar a small scar and a slight drift to the left; and i’m still banging it out like a jackhammer πŸ˜‰

    user-removed
    Member

    proceeded to go nuts

    Oh teh ironing πŸ˜€

    I used to work at a dry ski slope and one of the other staff was running up the lift path with the tow pole between his legs – we all did this – made getting to the top of the hill a bit easier.

    Unfortunately for him, he managed to nip his plums between the little round grey seat and the bottom of the pole. He was dragged about thirty metres, screaming horribly before someone had the sense to hit the emergency stop button. We called him tupperware, because they were.

    blurty
    Member

    Crossing a pine tree over a river my mate had the misfortune to slip and impale himself on the sharp stub of a branch – it got him right in the biffen bridge.

    His sack swelled up to gynormous proportions – he tried to impress the girls by parading his purple plums at a party after the event. His nuts looked like a pair of baby cuckoos that had been beaten black and blue. The girls were not impressed.

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    Ouch.

    My son jumped on mine earlier in the year. I passed out and got a ride in an ambulance.

    Getting on with it

    http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/would-you-give-your-left-nut-to-ride-a-bike

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire
    Subscriber

    currently got a tear in my eye from sympathy and laughter.

    I’ve never had a swollen ball or administered one, but i did manage to stealthily flick my mates right nut on the way past him in a nightclub corridor.
    I came back through 5 minutes later to find him still leaning against the wall crying. Served him right as he’d pushed me down the hill the day before when i was mid-stream having a waz (cue feet above head and covered in p!55)

    bigdawg
    Member

    ow…

    Around 94/95 when I was doing a lot of boxing I was using a floor/ceiling ball (my own) but hadnt secured the floor hook correctly – A 2 ft piece of rubber/elastic, stretched between the floor and ceiling with an s hook on the end – half hour of not physically being able to stand up and being sick. The dr later described it as putting a tomato on the floor and stamping on it.

    For two years I was kept under obs as one side was constantly the size of a tennis ball, then one day I was told that what looked like a tumour had developed – surgery within 3 weeks and 3 months of chemo followed (and whilst I was in hospital I picked up cycling weekly and read about this young US rider that had just been diagnosed with TC too…)

    Oh well still had one t hat owrked and I now have a 5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter…

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    Actually, my lad jumped on me again yesterday and I’m getting that tell tale stabbinbg pain again. Brilliant. 😐

    parkesie
    Member

    Was she waving a emergency union jack at the time?

    I had a giant ball had quite a nasty operation to reduce its size, think lemon juicer. Still on the large side and i got a fortnight off work πŸ™‚

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