Just had the police...
 

[Closed] Just had the police around, I've been accused of racism

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Offline  Dark-Side
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I had an altercation tonight in a supermarket car park. My wife, youngest daughter and I pulled in to the car park (all the family spaces were taken), parked and walked towards the shop when a youngish guy came out of the supermarket, jumped in his car parked in a family space and started to drive off. I shouldn't have done it, but I had a bit of a go about him parking in a family space, he wound down his window and we had further words, which resulted in me calling him a prick. He had a go back and he suggested we fight and more words were exchanged before I walked away and forgot about it all after taking a bit of a bollocking from my wife.

About three hours later the doorbell goes and I answer the door to two police officers asking if the Volvo car outside was mine, I confirmed it was and then he asked if I had been in an altercation in a supermarket car park. It actually took me a while to register what they were taking about, as it was essentially handbags at dawn before he asked if I remembered what I said to the person in the car. It then registered that the person I argued with wasn't 'white British' origin, and a horrible realisation dawned on me, I was being accused of using a racist insult.

Thank goodness my wife (who heard the whole thing) backed up my assertions that I would never used racist language and the police seemed pretty satisfied that the report was a petty way of getting back at me.

I'm devastated, not only at the accusation of racism, but the police turned up in front of my two young kids and I had to explain what they were accusing their dad of. I'm angry and hurt, I wish I had kept my mouth shit initially but I feel I shouldn't let this bloke get away with absolutely untrue accusations of racism, do I have any grounds for slander with my wife being witness?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:33 pm
Offline  devash
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Just let it go and count yourself lucky. And keep yourself to yourself next time. It isn't worth the agro.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:36 pm
Offline  bearnecessities
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You'll be less pissed in a day or two. He'll still be a dick.

Despite the injustice, I'd let it go chap; no good will come of it.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:38 pm
Offline  project
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so you decided to enforce supermarket rules and then got upset when plod exercised their right to enforce racism laws.

3 sides to every story, your side the other side and what actually happened

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:39 pm
Offline  nickewen
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Aye, just need to chalk it up to experience I think and forget about it. You've just been unlucky that the bloke has tried it on with the law and you've had to deal with them round your house.

I can't help myself with stuff like that either.. I'd have probably called him a dick as well!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:39 pm
Offline  PMK2060
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It took you a while to register what they were talking about? Did you have more than one altercation tonight in the car park?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:40 pm
Offline  twistedpencil
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Let it go. Not worth the trouble.

How's your ankle? Riding the mega again next year?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:40 pm
Online  scaredypants
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interesting that they'd come round without him producing any evidence - or maybe he got a mate to back him up ?

I'd say let it go too, but prob would've made more trouble for myself by asking what evidence they had, if I was in your situation

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:41 pm
Offline  spectraken
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oh if only they would charge the other guy with wasting police time!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:42 pm
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if only they would charge the other guy with wasting police time!

By the sounds of it, he'd just scream RACIST at them, and they'd simply back down. Sadly.

OP, just bin this one to experience. Perhaps use it to explain to the children why A - Daddy was wrong to have "had words" (and to point out that you did not, and would not ever say what you were accused of saying, perhaps) and why B - The other bloke is a massive (expletive deleted).

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:44 pm
Offline  agent007
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but I had a bit of a go about him parking in a family space

Why would you do that? It's not like its a Disabled space or something.

Supermarket parent/child spaces are discretionary not mandatory. Just park somewhere else and forget it - did you not enjoy the extra few metres walk, or do you see it as a two tier society where people with kids are somehow more important than folk without?

Not surprised the guy got the hump to be honest after you called him a prick for doing nothing more than going about his daily shopping.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:45 pm
Offline  coconut
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another crazy night out in the volvo.. 🙂

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:46 pm
Offline  project
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just perhaps he had a dash cam or recording device and recorded the whole thing, soon to be on youtube probably,

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:47 pm
Offline  tjagain
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Slander is very difficult to prove. Write it of as him being a prize jerk

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:50 pm
Online  scaredypants
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Why would you do that?
Well, if nobody ever tells a prick that they're a prick they'll just keep at it won't they ? I'm not particularly precious about defending those spaces to the death but they are a useful way of spotting the arseholes early in your shopping day - before they jump the checkout queue and go off to just get a couple more things, I mean

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:51 pm
Offline  Dark-Side
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CaptainFlashheart - Member
if only they would charge the other guy with wasting police time!
By the sounds of it, he'd just scream RACIST at them, and they'd simply back down. Sadly.

OP, just bin this one to experience. Perhaps use it to explain to the children why A - Daddy was wrong to have "had words" and why B - The other bloke is a massive (expletive deleted).

I suspect this is the best approach, I've just never been accused of this before and it makes me sad.

twistedpencil - Member
Let it go. Not worth the trouble.

How's your ankle? Riding the mega again next year?

It is getting there twistedpencil, unfortunately the surgery got infected and I nearly lost my foot, so only just off crutches and still on medication. Which is probably why I was a little precious about having to carry my little girl further than need be. I might ride again, its own to recovery and my wifes permission for next year!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:52 pm
Offline  rs
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he could have also went into the store with his wife and kid, left them to do the shopping after he picked up a pack of gum and went elsewhere, who knows, plus as above, who cares, a tale of two pricks maybe 😕

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:52 pm
Offline  hebdencyclist
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do you see it as a two tier society where people with kids are somehow more important than folk without?

Oh, come on - "two tier society".

Getting young kids in and out of cars, with seats and paraphernalia, can be difficult.

It may not be mandatory to leave the spaces for people with kids on board, but it is polite.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:53 pm
Offline  spooky_b329
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I think I'd be more embarrassed at flying off the handle at a random stranger in front of my family, than have plod knock on the door to have a quiet word in my ear!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:54 pm
Offline  hebdencyclist
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do I have any grounds for slander

Oh, do behave.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:55 pm
Offline  captainsasquatch
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I carry a booster seat in the car, it stops people noseying in and commenting when parking in those bays.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:56 pm
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captainsasquatch - Member
I carry a booster seat in the car, it stops people noseying in and commenting when parking in those bays.

Do you also have a packet of Werther's and a puppy on board?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:57 pm
Offline  agent007
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Well, if nobody ever tells a prick that they're a prick they'll just keep at it won't they

And why is he a prick, for all you know he or a family member in the store could have had an injury and have been in a lot of pain walking or similar so that's why he parked near the store. There's a multitude of other reasons why he might be parked there.

I've parked in these spaces plenty of times when I've had to load something heavy and bulky (that's not a child) into the side doors meaning that they need to be fully opened. If the OP had seen me getting out of the car in this situation to go into the store would he have called me a prick too?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:58 pm
Offline  Superficial
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Supermarket parent/child spaces are discretionary not mandatory.

As are disabled ones, on private land like supermarkets anyway. Is it ok to park in those?

I make a point of glowering at people on their own parking in parent and child spots. They're just the same selfish entitled pricks that make life a bit rubbish for the other 95% of decent people.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 10:59 pm
Offline  mattyfez
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Yeh pretty much, just have to get over it, being a dick is not limited by culture, dicks come from all walks of life.

It doesn't help when people play the race card if it's not a racial incident, so it's frustrating, I've had similar encounters and unfortunately the police were just doing their jobs.

Maybe try and use it as an example to your kids of how petty and self entitled a lot of people are?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:00 pm
Offline  TroutWrestler
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You should see how the "Disabled" spaces are used at my local Aldi...

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:00 pm
Offline  agent007
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I make a point of glowering at people on their own parking in parent and child spots. They're just the same selfish entitled pricks that make life a bit rubbish for the other 95% of decent people.

oooooh get you !!!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:00 pm
Offline  hebdencyclist
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I've parked in these spaces plenty of times when I've had to load something heavy and bulky (that's not a child) into the side doors meaning that they need to be fully opened.

We're still talking about a supermarket, right?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:02 pm
Offline  sobriety
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This happened to one of my Dad's colleagues, after he bollocked a local kid (who is black) for chucking stones at windows. He invited them in for a cup of tea to discuss it.

They walked in, clocked to Ghanaian lady sat on the sofa, asked if she was a relation, 'I'm his wife' she says. 'Sorry sir, we'll be going' they said and walked out.

Kid got the hiding of his life from his Mum for trying it on!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:02 pm
Offline  nickc
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You'll be less pissed in a day or two. He'll still be a dick.

very much this

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:03 pm
Offline  RustySpanner
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I think before we can pass judgement on the lives of others, we need something to reinforce our prejudices.

Which supermarket?
🙂

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:03 pm
Offline  captainsasquatch
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I make a point of glowering at people on their own parking in parent and child spots. They're just the same selfish entitled pricks that make life a bit rubbish for the other 95% of decent people.

Let's hope that they're not picking up the Mrs and sprog, eh? You'd look a bit foolish then.
Do you also have a packet of Werther's and a puppy on board?

That's slanderous, expect a call from plod!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:03 pm
Offline  coconut
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this is right up there with the "local mayor parked on the pavement thread"

they should throw the book at racists like you.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:05 pm
Offline  deepreddave
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agent007 - Member
Why would you do that?

Because he's inconsiderate/selfish? Well done to the OP but unfortunately some people care only about themselves and are incapable of recognising when they ought to be embarrassed.
A supermarket adopting clamping vehicles of the wassacks who inappropriately use disability spaces would get my business!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:05 pm
Offline  ninfan
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simples:

[i]No officer, I would not and did not say that, however I believe the other bloke is making a false allegation after he called me a 'poof' and a 'faggot' and threatened to 'shiv me'
[/i]

Jobs a goodun!

Next time:

[video]

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:06 pm
Online  scaredypants
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I've parked in these spaces plenty of times when I've had to load something bulky (that's not a child) into the side doors meaning that they need to be fully opened - does that make me a prick too?
borderline so far. These things too big to fit in a trolley ? (and how often have you used those spaces when you haven't had a bulky item?)

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:06 pm
Offline  Dark-Side
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project - Member
just perhaps he had a dash cam or recording device and recorded the whole thing, soon to be on youtube probably,

I hope so, I was a bit if a dick about it but nothing compared to what followed, and certainly not racist.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:08 pm
Offline  Edukator
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So he made a complaint about you based on your skin colour. That makes him the racist. Racism works both ways. I was disappointed when a court in Leicester failed to take into account the racist nature of the incident when a women was attacked and reliable witness accounts reported that "white" was included in the insults made by assailants during the attack.

Edit: he may have been concerned that you would report him and decided to make a preemptive strike at the police station first. I got attacked, did a very good job of defending myself but decided to report it to the Gendarmes all the same. When I got there my assailant was already there and had made a rather implausible complaint. The Genadarme couldn't ignore the case as the guy was injured with a badly bitten finger. I asked the Gendarme to go and ask the guy how his finger had got into my mouth. A few minutes later the Gendarme and my assailant reappeared, the guy agreed with my version of events, we shook hands and that was the end of it.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:09 pm
Offline  agent007
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Because he's inconsiderate/selfish?

But how do we or the OP know? Perhaps his kids were in the store with their mum. Perhaps he has mobility issues or chronic pain but is not yet in receipt of a disability badge. Did the OP ask this before shouting 'prick' at him?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:10 pm
Offline  hebdencyclist
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borderline so far. These things too big to fit in a trolley ?

Yep - I want to know too 😀

What do you buy from a supermarket, "plenty of times", that is so bulky, and you won't put in your boot, but you feel entitled you to park in a parent/child space for, thus potentially forcing some woman with a baby to struggle to get her child and child seat in and out of her car?

Because I've made thousands of trips to supermarkets and have never, ever faced this crushing dilemma 😀

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:12 pm
Offline  twistedpencil
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Glad to hear your on the mend Dark Side. If you do make it out there next year we'll have to meet up for a drink.

Oh and I'd have probably reacted like you in the car park so every sympathy. Learning to keep it in check is a slow on going process!

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:12 pm
Offline  mikey74
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He's being an idiot for playing the race card in a non racial situation, but you're being an idiot for expecting preferential treatment be given to people just because they choose to have kids. IMO disabled spaces should be enforceable, but family spaces? No, screw that. Family spaces should be done away with completely.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:13 pm
Offline  Dark-Side
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`I've parked in these spaces plenty of times when I've had to load something heavy and bulky (that's not a child) into the side doors meaning that they need to be fully opened. If the OP had seen me getting out of the car in this situation to go into the store would he have called me a prick too?

I doubt it, on any other day I would probably have been more reasonable. He carried a small carrier back to his Porsche 911, so I don't think it was heavy lifting. As I said above, I regret my initial hissy fit but I don't think I deserve the police around and accusations of racism.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:15 pm
Offline  hebdencyclist
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But how do we or the OP know? Perhaps his kids were in the store with their mum. Perhaps he has mobility issues or chronic pain but is not yet in receipt of a disability badge. Did the OP ask this before shouting 'prick' at him?

You need to read the OP again, rather than just making stuff up to try and excuse this person's selfishness:

...when a youngish guy came out of the supermarket, jumped in his car parked in a family space and started to drive off. I shouldn't have done it, but I had a bit of a go about him parking in a family space, he wound down his window and we had further words, which resulted in me calling him a prick.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:16 pm
Offline  RustySpanner
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Local Co-op used to print pictures of those who missused the disabled bays and display them on a wall of shame near the till.
🙂

Worked a treat.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:18 pm
Offline  mattyfez
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So he made a complaint about you based on your skin colour. That makes him the racist.

I agree, but there's a deeper social issue here, in that there are vast portions of society who belive they are more important than others, and will try anything when confronted with their bad behaviour, sometimes it's pulling the race card, sometimes it's drivers saying cyclists shouldn't be on the road, etc. Etc. It's simply their way of justifying thier inconsiderate behaviour in their own minds.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:19 pm
Offline  rs
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I don't think I deserve the police around and accusations of racism.

So even though the guy is being a dick and lying about it, and making it racist, you don't want the police to investigate? That's their job, they don't know he's lying.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:19 pm
Offline  Larry_Lamb
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mikey74 - Member

He's being an idiot for playing the race card in a non racial situation, but you're being an idiot for expecting preferential treatment be given to people just because they choose to have kids. IMO disabled spaces should be enforceable, but family spaces? No, screw that. Family spaces should be done away with completely.

+potato

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:20 pm
Offline  agent007
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He carried a small carrier back to his Porsche 911

Aha, perhaps it was simply the 911 that made the OP see red. Guys a prick clearly 🙄

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:22 pm
Offline  deepreddave
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agent007 - Member
Perhaps his kids were in the store with their mum. Perhaps he has mobility issues or chronic pain but is not yet in receipt of a disability badge.

In which case he ought to have mentioned them but seemingly didn't. We can all jump to incorrect conclusions and maybe the OP did but the odds are he didn't based on his post.
I get that you're of the view you can use these spaces when YOU decide, hence the supposition in defence of the other party, but my moral compass points towards more consideration for others.

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:22 pm
Offline  agent007
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but my moral compass points towards more consideration for others.

What like not calling a random stranger you don't even know 'a prick'?

 
Posted : 15/12/2016 11:26 pm
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