Is it just my wife that's mad?

Decorative or plain glass, either is fair game.
We have 31 out in the house and another 20 in the cupboard.
I’m sure there must be rules for this sort of thing?

There are “don’t go complaining about your wife to a bunch of internet strangers”

This is like some terrible Jim Davidson / Bernard Manning reprise.

“Take my wife…”

Don’t get me wrong, she’s great and I love her to bits but I’m beginning to wonder if this is how secret hoarders start? Things just keep ‘appearing’ on shelves. Kind of like the Bermuda Triangle in reverse.

she’s great and I love her to bits

Good to hear it, choppersquad. Then tell the world about that, not the negative stuff. Lots of failed and dead marriages in STW are full of this deprecation. This good stuff? That’s the novelty.

Now for vases.

Sounds minging.

but I’m beginning to wonder if this is how secret hoarders start?

Dunno. How many old bike bits have you got stashed away? Just in case.

Now for vases.

Vases? Vases are useful. you can put flower in them. Or the ashes if you already have a patio.

Now for candles….

Now for candles….

Please Gods no.

House plants.

**** Houseplants

Everywhere

What about beakers?

Why do people have curtains, sometimes “heat proof-eco-reflect-o-therm” lined, that cover the radiators when drawn?

Why?

What possible reason except a punch-kick combo of stupidity and vanity?

WHY?

We have just the one vase!

But loads of bike bits everywhere…

I threw out Mr TW’s vase because I got fed up of all his clutter. Now using a 1ltr water bottle as an emergency vase.

Sounds minging.

Very good 🙂

I married a rational (most of the time) physicist, so none of that fluffy stuff around here….

Surely, the reason that women have vases is so that you can buy them flowers?

You’ll never get her to throw all those cushions on the floor or light any of those candles if you don’t get the basics right.

Why are lilies always included in bouquets? They absolutely stink so bad that I chuck them in the bin. They need to be left growing outdoors!

*phones florist to change order for vickypeas bouquet* 😉

Cushions and spare pillows that we don’t use on our bed, which have to be evicted and replaced daily.
Two cats at the far end, usually carefully positioned on a folded blanket.
Several more pillows and cushions on the guest bed.
Cushions on every chair and sofa in the living room.
A giant cushion leaning on the wall.
Big, heavy and new curtains over the radiators in the living room, perfectly positioned to channel all of the heat straight to the glass and not the room.
I think that’s a full set. Do I get a prize..?

Highlandman:

http://www.homebase.co.uk/en/static/how-to-lay-a-patio%5D

You need perchy to send you Asiatic lilies they have no smell

…I think that’s a full set

Depends – can you see a shelf/cabinet full of Lladró or other china geegaws?

We have cereal tubs to put cereal in (even though it comes in boxes)
We have a hot chocolate tin for putting hot chocolate in (even though it is delivered in a can/tin thing)
We have a pasta jar for putting pasta in (even though it comes in bags)
We a dishwasher tablet tin for putting them in, even though they are already in a box.
And so on…..

More bikes than cushions in our house. I do have a couple of vases and love a bunch of flowers.

Why are lilies always included in bouquets? They absolutely stink so bad that I chuck them in the bin. They need to be left growing outdoors!

I’ve previously asked the princesses women that get sent flowers at work to remove the lilies as the smell gives me a bad headache.

My Wife is going to be mad soon.

I need to move the table my turntable is sat on. I only need to move it 2 feet to get it away from a speaker as I’m getting feedback and very annoying hum. It will mean the room won’t quite look ‘right’.

I’m waiting for the right moment to do this as I know she’s going to have a flipper!

😀

If you move the table 1 foot one way and the speaker 1 foot the other way will that meet with the Feng Shui requirements?

We have cereal tubs to put cereal in (even though it comes in boxes)

We have cereal tubs to keep cereal fresh. How this is supposed to work I’ve no idea, given that they’re always perpetually empty whilst the half-full cereal boxes sit on top of the cupboard.

Cushions on the bed, two of which match the curtains. Check.
Cushions on guest bed and 2 foot throw. Check.
More candles than a Catholic Church. Check.
Fairy lights all year around. Check.
But what really does my head in are the fresh lilies that drop their stamen on the floor and the fact that I didn’t even know what a lily stamen was until I got married!!!

I didn’t even know what a lily stamen was until I got married!!!

Sex education in this country is terrible.

I didn’t even know what a lily stamen was until I got married!!!

We won’t judge you – there’s no stigma attached.

A giant cushion leaning on the wall.

Dafuq???

I should think myself lucky that I might have loads of vases around the house but I also have zero pot plants and absolutely no Lladro figurines or other associated trinkets. I thought I’d avoid the candle count as I really don’t have enough hours in the day. I’m with you all on the stinking lillies though, and so fortunately is Mrs Squad. They go straight into the garden.

We won’t judge you – there’s no stigma attached.

I have cushions, candles and vases (with flowers in) and my girlfriend doesn’t even live here yet!

Run. Run away now.

Unless you put them there yourself, in which case you win the prize for being the world’s most thoughtful caring boyfriend.

All my own doing I’m afraid. I know, I know, I’m a disgrace to men everywhere (but my home is very homely 😉 )

I have just found out that the runner/throw thing that goes across the bottom of the bed actually has a purpose. Apparently it is to stop you marking the bed linen with your shoes if you lay on top of the covers with your shoes on.
So off you go chaps, preferably straight after a muddy ride, crash out on the bed with your manky 510’s on and don’t worry about the linen because the runner will be serving its true purpose.
Don’t forget to report back on your experiences.

Don’t forget to report back on your experiences.

Did exactly what you suggested.

Your wife was furious.

We won’t judge you – there’s no stigma attached

That was beautiful

Did exactly what you suggested.

Your wife was furious 😆