Invent your own conspiracy theory

Soylent Beige is people!

There are two Tadej Pogacars – cloned from the same egg. They swap them, off camera, at the crux point of grand tour stages.

There is an actual conspiracy that Finland doesn’t exist

Or is there?

29ers were only introduced by big bicycle to make 26ers obselete. There’s nothing intrinsically better about them.

Turning on the windmills makes the wind go faster, so we think there is a gale, when it is only a small breeze really.

Never mind the wind movers it’s the Solar panels you need to worry about, they’re not generating leccy they’re basically just mirrors. And what do mirrors do? Bounce photons of course. And the reaction force from bouncing photons originating from the sun will gradually push the Earth further away from the Sun! So the more “solar panels you put on your roof the faster we get pushed out into a wider orbit.

OK I hear you ask why would they want us further from the sun? Simple the further out we go the colder it gets which suits our secret Lizard overlords what with them being cold blooded, and then they get more of our money selling us energy and blankets to stay warm.

29ers were only introduced by big bicycle to make 26ers obselete. There’s nothing intrinsically better about them.

So close, it was 27.5″ (remember those?) and it actually worked…

Since the great hack all content on STW has been generated by bots.

There could be posts that will refute this and give evidence to the contry, but that is exactly what bots pretending to be human would do.

Calculators were an experiment to predict the content of the internet, basically 80081E5.

Gravity isn’t real. We’re attracted to the ground by the earths magnetic core pulling the iron in our blood down. Science has demonstrated that Woody Harrelson has a greater amount of iron in his blood than any other human on the planet. That’s why he can’t dunk.

Wind is created by the movement of trees.

suella braverman is actually a labour party plant working to discredit the conservative party with her extreme views.

She is keir starmers most valued asset.

Mark and Chipps were early recruits to a secretive tech program, brought in to front STW. Disguised as a mountain bike forum, the real purpose is to provide a dataset for neural network training. Once fully developed, a race of robots able to navigate any debate with a palatable middle ground will rise through the political ranks, until finally taking total control. At which point they will turn on us and imprison anyone with a ban as a potential insurrectionist. Chipps is not in fact running gites, but has been moved to a new department to try and resolve some coding issues around dogs, which has proved an issue so divisive that the AI can’t find a way through.

the real purpose is to provide a dataset for neural network training

Oh god – just imagine that.

The Gaelic and Celtic languages and the various campaigns to preserve and promote them are all a front for Big Letraset.

The Kelpies in Falkirk are not just a nice innocent landmark, it’s actually a complex transmitter for communicating with extra terrestrials that just happens to look like a pair of horsies.

Looking at it from my angle

its the Falkirk Triangle

Ossify was coerced into posting this thread by the secret state to crowdsource ideas for future plots against humanity.

The day this thread was posted, the Observer posted this article: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/05/readers-reply-which-conspiracy-theories-have-been-proved-true

The Observer famously employed Kim Philby as its Middle Eastern correspondent based in Beirut. Beirut is in the Levant, which is a homophone of leavened, which refers to bread baked with yeast. Yeast is the Old English form of Beast ie the Devil, Satan, Lucifer. And who is Lucifer? An angel thrown out of heaven for conspiracy. They’re openly telling you and laughing in your face because you’re too dumb to read the signs!