Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 54 total)
  • I'm going to Yorkshire later – will I die?
  • binners
    Full Member

    I’m feeling a bit nervous about it. Are the things true that they say?

    Will I survive?

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    All I know is it will be your fault.

    domino
    Full Member

    I’ve managed to survive over 12 years on this side, you will be safe as long as you don’t mention pasty barms.

    Hobster
    Free Member

    Beware the moon and stay on the road.

    montarius
    Free Member

    Depends where you go, if your going to Leeds city centre tonight or tomorrow night then yes, you will indeed die.

    ton
    Full Member

    where? who said you could? did you get a permit?

    headfirst
    Free Member

    Are all your injections up to date?

    rob-jackson
    Free Member

    can you shower on your way IN please dirty lancashire bastard

    ton
    Full Member

    😆

    derek_starship
    Free Member

    Take some garlic and a silver bullet.

    binners
    Full Member

    😆

    I’ve got my passport, I’ve had my malaria jabs and everyfink

    Whos_Daddy
    Free Member

    I’m guessing you must be a Southern Softie?

    Carbone
    Free Member

    If your from down south , could you do me a favour – visit a pub , buy a “sprinkler” of the landlord and take it back with you and explain how to use it just in case I have to visit again . Ta

    khani
    Free Member

    Take bubble gum-stockings and blue jeans,.and tell em you know Elvis..they like that,………

    binners
    Full Member

    A southerner?! I’ve never been so insulted in my life!

    Pfft!

    khani
    Free Member

    I’m guessing you must be a Southern Softie

    A southerner?! I’ve never been so insulted in my life!

    Pfft!

    😆 wait til you get to Yorkshire!…

    jota180
    Free Member

    We’ll require a security deposit payable at the toll booths on Saddleworth
    If you’re a Lanc we need a double deposit

    grum
    Free Member

    I’m guessing you must be a Southern Softie?

    In the Wars of the Roses the Yorkshiremen were basically southerners – they drew all their men and support from the south. Lancastrians are proper northerners.

    khani
    Free Member

    We went to Brighouse last weekend and it was great, fish’n’chips to die for, and a top Local freehouse pub within 2mins of the hotel,. it was VERY Local though….

    john_drummer
    Free Member

    That’s always assuming we the border guards let him in. Or out again

    Carbone
    Free Member

    We went to Brighouse last weekend and it was great, fish’n’chips to die for, and a top Local freehouse pub within 2mins of the hotel,. it was VERY Local though….

    Red Rooster ? or The Ship ?

    Mmmmmmm beer

    khani
    Free Member

    The ship I think, little sample shot glasses in front of each pump, they sold pork pies and pancakes as well 😀
    I was shitfaced after a bit tbh 😳

    MRanger156
    Free Member

    Thee will be all reet.

    derek_starship
    Free Member

    It has to be said that Yorkshire is ace. I love getting over border.

    khani
    Free Member

    *conversation overheard in the pub*
    ‘na’then’
    ‘Ow art?’
    ‘or’reet’
    ‘g’lad’
    Local 😯

    ianv
    Free Member

    Will I survive?

    Just stick to the nice places like Holme Wood in Bradford and you will probably be OK, security is excellent there.

    We went to Brighouse last weekend and it was great, fish’n’chips to die for, and a top Local freehouse pub within 2mins of the hotel,

    You went to Brighouse for a holiday??

    khani
    Free Member

    Or’reet Ian 😀 no,..work.

    gravity-slave
    Free Member

    flowerpower
    Free Member

    An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read ‘£10,000 per call’.
    The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

    Next stop was in Manchester… There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Oldham and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.

    ‘O.K., thank you,’ said the American.

    He then travelled to Blackburn, Burnley, Rochdale Littleborough, and Todmorden… In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same ‘£10,000 per call’ sign under it. The American, upon leaving Lancashire decided to travel to Yorkshire to see if Yorkshiremen had the same phone.

    He arrived in Halifax, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read ’50 pence per call.’

    The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. ‘Father, I’ve travelled all over Lancashire and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Lancashire the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?’

    The priest smiled and answered, ‘You’re in Yorkshire now, son … it’s a local call.’

    😉

    brakes
    Free Member

    once you’re in Yorkshire, you become Yorkshire.
    we Yorkshire folk will welcome you with open arms.
    Into the fold.
    We will be condescending of your place of origin, but will congratulate you on your rebirth as a citizen of God’s own country, Yorkshire.
    You will never want to leave, nor will you be allowed to leave.
    Be proud, be Yorkshire.

    MrSparkle
    Full Member

    Is there a little smiley for sticking finger down throat?

    derekrides
    Free Member

    No-one’s ever answered this satisfactorily, but why is it everything from Yorkshire, from Tea to Broadband has to be prefixed with the adjective ‘honest’, is no one honest in Yorkshire then, so when something is found to be so it’s a reason for celebration?

    binners
    Full Member

    Blimey! Thats put t cat the cat amongst t pigeons!

    I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that William Hague was being entirely honest about his sexuality and sharing hotel rooms with his ‘friend’ 😉

    brakes
    Free Member

    we, of Yorkshire, do not need to use the adjective ‘honest’.
    for when we speak of Yorkshire, honesty is implied, nay, honesty is KNOWN.

    jota180
    Free Member

    We’ll require a security deposit payable at the toll booths on Saddleworth
    If you’re a Lanc we need a double deposit

    Forgot to mention

    The booths for refunding the deposit are out of order – we’ll get around to fixing them one day

    binners
    Full Member

    If I say I know Hora, would that help?

    ton
    Full Member

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ0oCmDXrVk[/video]

    mt
    Free Member

    Some of us can remember when Saddleworth was moved out of Yorkshire, grown men cried in the streets of Uppermill, Greenfield, Delph, Diggle and Dobcross.

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    I’ve just had 3 hours riding around the woods and forests near Harrogate, it’s snowy and hard pack ice off road but the roads are clear. I’m supping tea and eating biccies now..

    I’m ot dead yet..

    But I’ll let you know if I do pop off.

    Bring thermals.

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    The good people of Yorkshire will be highly offended and angered if you forget the importance of Valentine’s Day in Yorkshire.

    Therefore, for your own safety, it is essential that you wear a red rose in your lapel whenever you are out in public. Particularly in pubs or at cricket matches.

    Stay safe.

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