If you work in a building with a lift…

…does it have a hatch in the ceiling, for Bruce Willis-esque escape purposes?

Ours, I notice, doesn’t. 🙁

All of which means – in the event of a sudden Alan Rickman attack – I’d basically be at the mercy of his East German thugs.

About 4 minutes on in this clip for some good lift ideas;

The thing you need to understand about lifts is that there are good ones, and bad ones. It is not if they have a hatch or not, the hatch may only leead you into a black void and if you enter into the void a bad lift can, and will crush you. A good lift will be obedient and come on demand, be well lit and clean, with a smooth transit, promptly opening & closing doors and it WILL NOT judder. Also remember its not about the claustrophobia, its about being unable to get out. Now, take a good look at the next lift you see…. do you trust it? Well do ya?

we have a lift in our building, but I have never been in it…

BECAUSE THERE ARE ONLY TWO FLOORS!!!!

the people who use the lift (other than those who are actually physically disabled or have a trolley of stuff with them) should be shot. Even if the lift is there, with the doors open, waiting for you, it is still quicker to take the stairs.

Lazy bastards.

Dave

Some anti-lift sentiment coming from alfabus there. 😉

Seven floors for me, plus in my defence I try to pull as many I’m-so-buff poses at the mirror on the way up – which, when you think about it, is a bit like proper exercise.

So, why no hatch and access shaft?

A good lift will be obedient and come on demand

It’ll also take the terrorists out on demand, so no need for an escape hatch
That’s my experience anyway

So, why no hatch and access shaft?

How are you going to pull yourself up through the roof? What are you going to do once you get on the non-flat trip hazard roof of a lift in a dark lift shaft x metres up with nearby malfunctioning machinery and an unbroken fall hazard?

What are you going to do once you get on the non-flat trip hazard roof of a lift in a dark lift shaft x metres up with nearby malfunctioning machinery and an unbroken fall hazard?

Kick Alan Rickman’s ass. 😉

jump and hold onto the rope as everyone else plummets 6 floors. Use the other lift guests as something to stand on to get through the hatch.

‘good lifts’ have nice grease free cables that are soft to the touch for your climbing ease.

How are you going to pull yourself up through the roof?

Jump, grab sides, strain bulging triceps, pull body through – c’est finis!

Use the other lift guests as something to stand on to get through the hatch.

Nice idea 😆 but there’s no hatch! – so I’d be the one nursing the headache while, above, Alan is free to carry out his wicked schemes…

I used to work in a building with one of these….a patanosta lift. One side goes up, the other comes down. Constantly moves and has no doors. Urban myth in the office was the story of how someone stood on thier head in the bit going down and went upsidedown past some Japanese visitors waiting to get on at the next floor.

I’ve got it… dont use the lift, use a fire-hose and swing over the side of the building into the floor you want.

sorted.

jump and hold onto the rope

“there is no spoon”

Hmmm… might have saved the day there.

* leaves office to check up on fire-hose location and proximity to windows *

* puts vest back on and glowers menacingly *

i’ll call argile and tell him to stop chatting up the teddy bear

The lifts in both office locations I use have no music in them.. I’m in two minds whether I’m either happy or not happy about that.
3 floors limit for us lot. Nice view of the atrium in one location, no view except bronze tinted mirrors in the other (which make it look like you have a perma tan)

As for methods of escape, I’d use another.. I’d use the “other guests” head to smash open the window, it’s 20mm thick glass so may take some time.*

*This may not actually happen.

And I’ll whip out the zippo!

Let’s go kick some butt!

Notice: No Alan Rickmans were hurt in the making of this thread. However, a couple of East German thugs did get carpet burn.

Not many lifts have obvious hatches, I do look. I assume they are above the false ceiling that the light fixtures are hidden in. I am yet to rip out the false ceiling to check my theory but am prepared to do so should the occasion call for it. I only hope I am correct.

* suddenly doubts the fire-hose idea and heads back to finger the lifts for presence of false ceiling *

I used to work in a building with one of these….a patanosta lift.

They were awesome – but all banned now, I assume?

Papa Laz, where did you work? Not near Warrington was it?

you shouldn’t finger the lifts, sexual harassment in the work place is taken seriously nowadays!

A good lift is one made by this company http://www.schindlerlifts.co.uk as it affords me the opportunity to make a shitty ‘Schindler’s Lift’ gag to my fellow lazy bastards.

A hotel I used to stay at in Cologne has a luggage lift like that patanosta lift. I told a tipsy colleague it was a proper lift. He used it. Almost got thrown out of the hotel.

I’m going to nerd out here.

He (Willis/McLean) doesn’t use a hatch to get out the lift. He trips the emergency stop between floors, prys the doors open, wedges them with an assault rifle, climbs out and then trips the switch to get the lift going again.

So it’s not a hatch you need, it’s an automatic weapon. And a wife beater.

he was drinking stella whilst foiling Alan Rickman’s plans ??

this is the sort of thread i read STW for 😀

They were awesome – but all banned now, I assume?

Last time i was in Sheffield university arts tower there was one there and many people had ridden it for a full circuit.

Is a yellow button with a bell on it the same thing as an emergency stop? If not, we haven’t even got one of those (I checked), let alone automatic weapon and wife beater.

There is a fire fighters safety switch, though. Could I take advantage of that, maybe?

philconsequence – Member

I’ve got it… dont use the lift, use a fire-hose and swing over the side of the building into the floor you want.
does that work if you’re on the ground floor?

of course, there’s always..

“having just made a pointless trip to floor two”

We have a button with “call” on it.. I couldn’t get an outside line so thats rubbish then.

We have two basements as well, B1 and G1, you work out that conundrum..

Our buttons light up Green when pressed and the internal light comes on (I know this cos’ you can see the inside of the lift from the atrium floor and when it’s not in use the lights are off)

We have a couple of “Bruce Willis” types here in this office, well I say “Bruce Willis”, what I really mean is “Jimmy Cranky”

White t-shirts/vests are not allowed in this office (for future referance)

We wanted either a zip-slide or a firepole in our office, but we had the lifts refurbished instead.

I’ve only ever used them when moving a pallet truck-load of rackmount servers to other floors. I’ve heard that you can use them _just_ to move yourself, but refuse to believe it.

On lifts now only fire fighting lifts have usable hatches in the ceiling. New lifts (non fire fighting) wont have a hatch at all. Existing lifts with hatches will have had the hatches screwed permanently closed.

The thinking behind the non use of hatches now is that if your stuck in a lift the safest place to be is in the lift not trying some heroic self escape up (or down) the lift shaft.

Last time i was in Sheffield university arts tower there was one there and many people had ridden it for a full circuit.

There was, I was one of them.

and what makes you the expert “liftman” ?

what a convenient username.

White t-shirts/vests are not allowed in this office (for future referance)

Do what I dom bikebouy – wear a shirt over yours, so you look – you know – acceptable to the suits/drones in your building. It’s always there, though, for emergencies and general body warmth considerations.

Those suits will thank me for my vest-focused foresight when I save their sorry butts from the menace of Alan Rickman. 😀

The thinking behind the non use of hatches now is that if your stuck in a lift the safest place to be is in the lift not trying some heroic self escape up (or down) the lift shaft.

Health and safety gone mad I tell you.

It’s thought processes like these which are why I have a hard time behaving responsibly on monorails, Cable cars and light railways. Overwhelming urge to climb out onto the roof and fight someone…

but would you fight them if they were disabled?