Viewing 26 posts - 1 through 26 (of 26 total)
  • I Just farted
  • Premier Icon avdave2
    Free Member

    For the first time in my life, I farted. It was only a few minutes ago, and I scared the shit out of my poor kids.

    Since I got home from work, I’ve been feeling more hungry than usual, and when I have run up our stairs, I have felt abnormally tired. But for the last thirty minutes, I have been sitting on our couch working, before getting up in response to one of the kids calling from upstairs.

    My older son tells me that I walked toward him standing at the door, I put my hands on the door frame, said “Oh my gosh”, then let rip. My eyes were open the entire time, and when I shit the floor, my son tells me that there was a slight tremor in the room

    The next thing I knew, two of my kids were looking at me with frantic looks on their faces, asking me if I was okay.

    What the heck is that all about, then?!?

    As I say, I’ve never had such a thing happen in my life before.

    Premier Icon DezB
    Full Member

    Er, cat aids?

    Premier Icon jimdubleyou
    Full Member

    Definitely cat aids. The bad kind.

    Premier Icon jekkyl
    Full Member

    Go and see the doc and get your passage inspected. or maybe you just shouldn’t post on STW every little thing that springs to mind. 😉

    Premier Icon avdave2
    Free Member

    or maybe you just shouldn’t post on STW every little thing that springs to mind.

    I thought that’s what this place was for, I thought we were all here to stop us walking the streets shouting out incomprehensible rubbsh to total strangers.

    Premier Icon angeldust
    Free Member

    If you believe in God, it’s all in his big plan, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

    Premier Icon SaxonRider
    Full Member

    If you believe in God, it’s all in his big plan, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

    Your grasp of theology is terrible!

    Premier Icon GlennQuagmire
    Free Member

    Unless it contains lumps I wouldn’t worry.

    Premier Icon mooman
    Free Member

    Better than the original.

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    <- Insert stool chart ->

    Premier Icon angeldust
    Free Member

    Your grasp of theology is terrible!

    So you don’t believe in God now?

    Premier Icon unovolo
    Free Member

    You are the Queen and I claim my £5.

    Premier Icon hypnonewt
    Free Member

    Get a doctor to poke a finger in there that will sort it out.

    Premier Icon thepurist
    Full Member

    PULL

    MY

    FINGER!!!

    Premier Icon midlifecrashes
    Full Member
    Flatulent Franco from France frequently farts
    Fetid foul fetor fumes fill French foyers
    Francophile females feign fainting
    Fanning flatus from frowning faces!
    
    (by Jan Allison)
    Premier Icon fasthaggis
    Full Member

    OP

    It may be a side effect of Time Travel or extreme attention seeking.

    Has anything changed?

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    PULL

    MY

    FINGER!!

    Who was it on here who’s child did that on day 1 of Primary school with new teacher…?

    Premier Icon Drac
    Full Member

    Some really bad advice on here. Go straight to A&E NOW!!!!!!!1111one

    I once farted and didn’t get it looked at and I died.

    Premier Icon CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    PULL

    MY

    FINGER!!!

    http://www.misternicehands.com

    Premier Icon sirromj
    Free Member

    Should have dropped a cog and given it some beans… and sharted.

    Premier Icon SaxonRider
    Full Member

    So you don’t believe in God now?

    First of all, I’ve never actually said I believe in God. I have always just tried to bring helpful information to our forum discussions about God and religion. What I believe or don’t believe is mostly immaterial to those discussions. And secondly, that statement you made may reflect the most simple and naive understanding of faith in Judeo-Christian terms, but no serious theologian would ever think of say such a thing.


    @fasthaggis
    : Really? Attention seeking? If you knew me in person, you’d know that that is not the case. With respect to fainting, I was worried, and promised I would get some info online. That was my way of asking for it without directly asking for it, and you know what? It worked. Otherwise, while some people may use the forum for one thing, and another for another, I use it for a whole number of things, and sometimes just find it helpful to fire off a question or comment that may seem unrelated to stuff other people are talking about. I honestly didn’t realise my posts came across as so eccentric or attention seeking.

    Premier Icon angeldust
    Free Member

    I thought this was about farting?

    Premier Icon mooman
    Free Member

    Eccentric is a good description … although some have used bonkers too to be fair; attention seeking may just be a consequence of either description.

    The word swap was good though James😂

    Premier Icon hodgynd
    Free Member

    Farting / Religion..it all ends up being a complete pile of shit ..

    Premier Icon angeldust
    Free Member

    Where can I take the ‘serious theologian’ test?  Might be helpul if I want to comment on farting in the future (which is an excellent name for a sitcom btw).

    Premier Icon MrWoppit
    Free Member

    Will you be going on ‘Ruritania’s Got Talent’?

Viewing 26 posts - 1 through 26 (of 26 total)

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