For the first time in my life, I farted. It was only a few minutes ago, and I scared the shit out of my poor kids.

Since I got home from work, I’ve been feeling more hungry than usual, and when I have run up our stairs, I have felt abnormally tired. But for the last thirty minutes, I have been sitting on our couch working, before getting up in response to one of the kids calling from upstairs.

My older son tells me that I walked toward him standing at the door, I put my hands on the door frame, said “Oh my gosh”, then let rip. My eyes were open the entire time, and when I shit the floor, my son tells me that there was a slight tremor in the room

The next thing I knew, two of my kids were looking at me with frantic looks on their faces, asking me if I was okay.

What the heck is that all about, then?!?

As I say, I’ve never had such a thing happen in my life before.

Er, cat aids?

Definitely cat aids. The bad kind.

Go and see the doc and get your passage inspected. or maybe you just shouldn’t post on STW every little thing that springs to mind. 😉

or maybe you just shouldn’t post on STW every little thing that springs to mind.

I thought that’s what this place was for, I thought we were all here to stop us walking the streets shouting out incomprehensible rubbsh to total strangers.

If you believe in God, it’s all in his big plan, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

If you believe in God, it’s all in his big plan, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

Your grasp of theology is terrible!

Unless it contains lumps I wouldn’t worry.

Better than the original.

<- Insert stool chart ->

Your grasp of theology is terrible!

So you don’t believe in God now?

You are the Queen and I claim my £5.

Get a doctor to poke a finger in there that will sort it out.

PULL

MY

FINGER!!!

Flatulent Franco from France frequently farts
Fetid foul fetor fumes fill French foyers
Francophile females feign fainting
Fanning flatus from frowning faces!

(by Jan Allison)

OP

It may be a side effect of Time Travel or extreme attention seeking.

Has anything changed?

PULL

MY

FINGER!!

Who was it on here who’s child did that on day 1 of Primary school with new teacher…?

Some really bad advice on here. Go straight to A&E NOW!!!!!!!1111one

I once farted and didn’t get it looked at and I died.

PULL

MY

FINGER!!!

http://www.misternicehands.com

Should have dropped a cog and given it some beans… and sharted.

So you don’t believe in God now?

First of all, I’ve never actually said I believe in God. I have always just tried to bring helpful information to our forum discussions about God and religion. What I believe or don’t believe is mostly immaterial to those discussions. And secondly, that statement you made may reflect the most simple and naive understanding of faith in Judeo-Christian terms, but no serious theologian would ever think of say such a thing.

@fasthaggis: Really? Attention seeking? If you knew me in person, you’d know that that is not the case. With respect to fainting, I was worried, and promised I would get some info online. That was my way of asking for it without directly asking for it, and you know what? It worked. Otherwise, while some people may use the forum for one thing, and another for another, I use it for a whole number of things, and sometimes just find it helpful to fire off a question or comment that may seem unrelated to stuff other people are talking about. I honestly didn’t realise my posts came across as so eccentric or attention seeking.

I thought this was about farting?

Eccentric is a good description … although some have used bonkers too to be fair; attention seeking may just be a consequence of either description.

The word swap was good though James😂

Farting / Religion..it all ends up being a complete pile of shit ..

Where can I take the ‘serious theologian’ test?  Might be helpul if I want to comment on farting in the future (which is an excellent name for a sitcom btw).

Will you be going on ‘Ruritania’s Got Talent’?