good to hear things are better than they were when you put your first post up….if you keep openly discussing things with your wife and allow each other to have some time off to do your own things than it becomes more bearable.
since about sunday night our youngest spends most of the nights crying and not being able to sleep (probably teething) so i end up with him downstairs until around 2.30am when he finally nods off…i have to be up at 5.30am too…on wednesday night he threw up on our bed while i was giving the older 2 their baths…the wife was feeling under the weather so i ended up having to clean it all up and change the bed sheets
on the plus side our middle one is 2.5yrs and is able to count up to 20, knows all her colours and shapes, has started to do some really good drawings and is hopelessly addicted to Frozen.
the eldest finally figured out how to ride his bike properly. he’s 7 and although i was hoping he would have got to this stage by the age of at least 5, he always struggled with his balance, had a fear of falling off and i was a bit lazy/busy…but once did it…the look on his face said it all…proper proud dad moment!! you’ve got all of this to come yet!!

Colic is a B1tch !!
For the first 4 months I would come home from a stressfull day at work and be handed a screaming child….

Strangely it didn’t bother me as much first time round.
her cry didn’t get to me but it really set her mother off, so I would spend hours cuddling her on the sofa screaming while mum had a break.

The second one though….. There was no bond there at all, and quite a bit of resentment if I’m honest.

They are 4.5 and 2.5 now, the youngest is still “Testing” and not sleeping at the moment which is hard, but he is a proper little character too.

I still don’t really have the bond with them that their mum does, I hope that improves as they are able to do more stuff (I`m sure it will)

i only know that the the bond is different between the kids and the mother and then to their father. The things I do create a different relationship and it can drive you round the bend trying to replicate or force it.

I find the kids will generally take and lean on you as an when..just be there when it happens 🙂

Take a deep breath and keep going. Make a concious effort to be properly mindful of the moments you spend with you daughter. Your feelings for her will change and grow, eventually becoming something so precious you never believed could happen. That’s not to say things get consistently easier. You’ll hit the wall many times, but you’ll adapt – and have the potential for becoming a better person for it.
Well done for having the insight and courage to recognise your feelings and talk to your wife about it. From personal experience I can tell you that it’s a very lonely road with a partner who doesn’t. And when you’re feeling useless, turn to what you can do, and what you’ve obviously done well for 16 years – support your wife. She really needs you right now. And NEVER underestimate the effects of sleep deprivation.

I found my children pretty unrewarding and unlovable when they were babies. At 6 months they started to get more interesting, & I became more attached. From 1 year on I became absorbed.

It’s always going to be difficult with the first one, it means such a huge change in your circumstances.

Keep on keeping on. It’s all you can do.

Yes
No

Newborns are a pain in the arse. They do get a little bit better after a couple of years though. Then a lot better after another couple of years.

Your worlds turned upside down.. right
Your missus has no time for you…like you used to have.
your hobbies are on the back burner for a .. while anyway
visitors round all the time.. etc
Dont worry !!!!! and speak to the missus..
She might understand more than you think and REMEMBER . being a parent is new for both you .
So CONSIDER HER FEELINGS aswell as your own
Congrats aswell…
Things get better with time so relax and enjoy fatherhood