Innit?
C’mon fella, let us know you’re ok.

Does anyone have anymore info?
Family, location, frame size?

Seriously, just give one of us a shout. I’ll be up…….

Many of us have been there. As low as it is possible to be.
Those of us still here are happy we changed our minds.

It will get better, I promise. Some platitudes are true.
The sun will rise tomorrow and we can work it out together.
You are not alone my friend. Please, talk to us.

One of the members on here messaged me to say they had sent @tdog an email and that he would message me again if he heard anything back.

@tdog, I hope you’re okay. Please, if you’re reading this, give me a ring, or let us all know you’re okay.

Rusty Spanner
Subscriber
C’mon fella, let us know you’re ok.

Many of us have been there. As low as it is possible to be.
Those of us still here are happy we changed our minds.

It will get better, I promise. Some platitudes are true.
The sun will rise tomorrow and we can work it out together.
You are not alone my friend. Please, talk to us.

Pete has said this exactly as it is, I’m pretty sure without the support of the many on here some of us might have checked out.

I myself found the thought of carrying on since my wife died seemed pointless, but you know what the depth of understanding and care people have shown has proved me wrong, we all matter and have something to contribute to each other & our collective futures.
Please talk to us

Just give the Samaritans a wee call:
116123

Whatever your troubles at the moment there are people who will move mountains to help you. Hold on.

Mr O, the very, very best of humanity.
We need to get drunk when this is over.

So much to say yet feel unable to go there on every bad event in my life

Yeah, tbh I’ve seen similar topics before on stw but chickened out time & time again of posting my own

i’m struggling to get past thoughts/feelings & plans

I did however speak to crisis team which was arduous with pumped emotions at times

I try mask my issues as best I can in life however it catches up on me time & time again

I am awake continuing to have thoughts of cutting my throat

Few years ago I lived near a dual carriageway and was on the extreme edge of walking up road …

Something kicked in to stop me and I’ve even said to others how I’m thankful I didn’t follow through

I helped with someone from jumping last year

Had a rough year with an abusive gf and found it extremely difficult to come to terms with an abortion (complex long story on her side)

I even found myself asking my mother “why is it frowned upon to commit suicide”
As much as I knew it was a horrid thing to say, I FELT JUSTIFIED IN SAYING IT!

Yes, it’s justified in feeling that way.
I completely understand.

Phone me on 07815 506183 now. We can talk.

A real genuine thank you to all offers of support via telephone

I honestly don’t feel strong enough to speak and voice my crap

If things change though and I then feel able to then yes for sure 👍

I will get around to replying to my pms sometime too

I’m gonna try get some zzzzz 😑

Took me a while to remember my number – doh!

Phone me now.
Do it now.

You don’t have to speak. Just phone the number.

Nice one tdog.
Sleep well my friend.

Tomorrow – breakfast.

If someone has his mobile number it might be worth passing this on to the police for a welfare check. I had to do this for one of my clients and the police used their phone to triangulate the signal and locate him. I’m sure this would be possible in the UK too.

edit: glad you’re feeling a little brighter tdog. if you don’t feel like airing your issues on here then you can contact any number of us via pm for a “chat”. sometimes just letting someone know you’re feeling crap can be the start to getting the help you need. All the best bro.

If he’s from Tavi, maybe a call to Gawton Gravity Hub might be worth a try.
Theres a direct number on their contacts page which might be worth a try.
Didi we manage to find out the chap’s real name, might be a better chance of them knowing him that by his STW handle…

Contact/Find Us

OK, scratch that, my page hadn’t reloaded properly.

Nice one Tdog, glad to see you’re safe.

Offer to talk still stands. You have my number and email address. Don’t try and tackle this alone.

How you feeling this morning tdog? Hope you’re doing OK. My offer to chat and/or listen still stands too.

Even through my darkest times, which still happen pretty often, I know the importance of talking and I am not a talker. That’s why I randomly post stuff on here, it’s still a way of talking. I’ve found this to be really helpful as loads of people here do care and are willing to help and offer advice.

Stay safe tdog 💜

I think others here will be able to offer better help than me. The point about passing on Tdogs details might be helpful but might make him feel worse as well – it’d be useful if the psychiatrist, TJ or Drac took charge on this thread to make sure we don’t cause any harm. As I feel like I’m way out of my depth in here and don’t want to say anything that’d make the situation worse.

Stay safe Tdog. Don’t give your bikes away either dude.

Oh there’s a psych here? Didn’t know that.

(clinical nurse in mental health, amhp here)

That’s good to know, so the community should probably listen to you Aphex.

Hi guys/ gals,

I’m currently flat out on bed feeling fatigued and achey and woozey

Going to try get some shut eye for as long as poss

Thanks again to all btw

Thank you, @tdog, for letting us know. I know many on here have said it already, but hopefully you will feel even just slightly better knowing that – in spirit, at least – you are not alone.

My offer to talk stands no matter what, but you may have found other resources that help you – in which case I am happy for you. Whatever the case, please please please don’t let despair overwhelm you. Be well, and stay in touch!

Keep in touch when you’ve had your sleep, tdog, there are a lot of people here who are concerned for you.

Thanks for the vote of confidence Rayban but others are better qualified
TDog – just keep talking

tdog
Member

Hi guys/ gals,

I’m currently flat out on bed feeling fatigued and achey and woozey

Going to try get some shut eye for as long as poss

Thanks again to all btw

Firstly I’m glad you are feeling something, I think I speak for everyone here that we don’t want any of us to feel alone with our problems, life is hard but there is so much to enjoy in even the simplest things.
Just the pure joy of sitting outside with the sun on your face or your favorite tune playing.

I know how hard things can get but please, if you ever need any help just get in touch we are all here for each other.

I’m so glad to see you posting tdog. Just keep doing that for the moment and take up the offer of a chat with one of us when you feel able to.

You sound mentally exhausted and a decent sleep will help a little with that.

Keep the thread and us updated my friend.

Hi there,
I can see that lots of people have offered to lend an ear which is great to see. I’ve had a few dark times and several guys from this forum contacted me with messages of support. There is a way forward even when it feels like there isn’t.

Good to see you’ve checked in. As others have said this forum is brilliant when one of the community needs help. Keep logging on and telling us how it’s going.

Last year I was really struggling. The messages I received on here from people I have never met made a big difference.

Keep talking to us. Speak to your doc, the samaritans. You’ll get better.

tdog – with you in spirit, hope today is a better day.

Can I just make a point. It’s great that there is so much concern out there but I think people have to understand that talking doesn’t work for everyone. Constant demands that the OP talk to someone may not be helping and may in fact be making things worse.

I speak from experience. Talking is absolutely the last thing I should do. I get more and more wound up and angry if I have the energy and more and more depressed if I don’t. I asked my psychologist why everyone says to talk about things and why it goes so wrong when I try to do it. He said I’m talking wrong, apparently.

All that happens when people tell me they are there for me to talk to me anytime I need is it reminds me I’m so **** up that what is supposed to work doesn’t and their offer makes me feel worse about myself.

What works for me is to disconnect for a while, binge watching a tv show I’ve watched before or something similar. Basically I need to be just engaged enough that I don’t think too much but not so much that it becomes too much effort.

Going outside is OK for me provided it’s really shit weather. If it’s sunny it’s just a reminder that what should be making me feel better isn’t and I’m failing at improving my situation.

So, to everyone, I would say just chill out. The OP is an adult who is capable of making his own decision. By all means offer to help but don’t push and accept that some things are outside your control.

To the OP, if you are planning on doing it, I would recommend fasting to death. It takes concerted willpower and there is plenty of opportunity to abort. After two days without water you will have a much clearer picture of how badly you want to die.

After the initial thirst is gone it’s not a bad way to go, apparently. Also, the hormonal changes your body will go through might be what your mind needs to reset itself and give you a new outlook. Maybe.

I hope my advice isn’t needed and you’re feeling a bit better already.

Well I woke up at 6pm to have something to eat then hit the hay again at 7pm to eventually get out of bed at 2pm today

It’s usual for me to sleep for double the recommended if not more
When I do sleep

When I started Sertraline just under a year ago, I felt immediate response to feeling brighter for it to wear off then upped to 150mg and now it appears to be lacking in any form of helping

I believe my neighbours drumming away and there kid banging/shouting at fence next to my bedroom window is having a very much real impact on my MH

Though they’re so bloody stubborn next door and have no concept of neighbourly niceties
I do not feel comfortable asking them as it will no doubt end up in telling them as I’m wound up enough without the noise pollution

I can only say that I have suffered depression since age of primary school and things just got worse increasingly so

Yes traumatic events have happened but none of which I will voice about openly

I get a whole range of emotions come across me and my mood changes throughout every day of my life large number of times
It’s strongly as if I have pure raw evil energy pulsing my veins

For those who may read this finding it tricky to comprehend – imagine wanting to take my own life each and every day whether this be a conscious or not line of thought…
But understanding the correct that we’re taught ways of dealing with serious stuff

Lord knows I’ve tried but I have distressing thoughts, nightmares and feelings to seek retribution

It never goes away!!

I am shaking with clammy hands full of rage right now
Whilst hunched over looking at ground which I’ve noticed seems to be all the bloody time

I am holding on like I mentioned to crisis team out of pure energy to seek retribution sometime that keeps me existing

I do not honestly know what else I can say at this point

I can identify with those kinds of thoughts. However I have a strong urge towards inertia which keeps me from doing crazy things (also keeps me from doing a lot of good stuff but that’s another topic).

Also re neighbours, another person I know who struggles withs suicide also has loud neighbours. Sounds trivial but it’s very serious as it gives you no peace and no sanctuary.

Is there somewhere you can go to be away from them?

tdog, sorry if I’ve missed it but are you living alone mate?

Hi 👍

Sadly living with mum for most of my life as have struggled

On top of my exhausting life past, I have been suffering a financially crippling addiction

I am in my early 30s and relocated to Devon late ’17

I hardly see my other immediate family in Exeter area

So little support and my mother is elderly suffering with coping with my struggles

It really isn’t fair any way I look at the situation

Hey tdog – you’ve been quiet.
Just checking in hoping you’re ok…

I’ll second that – hope you’re still holding on?

Can’t seem to sleep again hence my posting at this time

I’ve just been removing fork & rim decals to make my big bike more bad ass

;-d

I had a fair bit of a bad relapse couple nights ago

Now seem to be ok’ish
However both my ex and I are feeling utterly down as it was this time last year we found out that she were pregnant
Needless to say it was a very harsh brutal time for both of us as things were not clear cut in her life nor mine to realistically continue with the pregnancy

I learned a lot from being in this situation for first time
A) that I stepped up to do my absolute best and
B) I do not believe in abortion

It was a sad time and now it is too for many different reasons

Just existing currently and that is it

AD meds are doing naff all I feel though it was the best most noticeable for the better meds I have ever taken – for about 3 odd months then it seems to have worn off over time despite upping to 150mg

Every time I go to pop meds out of packet, it hits me “why and that this shouldn’t be”

Anyway I’m not prepared at the moment at least to air my traumatic life and just how shit it has and continues to be

I’m up if you need a chat. I can’t say Ive been in your exact situation but I’m pretty close.

Hi @tdog just wanted to say I’m glad to see you’re still on here – you might not want to air everything but you’re talking to someone, and I think on here there’s always someone to listen. Sorry you can’t sleep (I guess I can’t too!), but it sounds like you’re being more productive with your forks than I am watching BMX videos. Hope that bike looks suitably bad ass for when we can all ride like bad asses again 🙂

Sunrise soon and we are all here for you.

Morning tdog 🙂

Anyway I’m not prepared at the moment at least to air my traumatic life and just how shit it has and continues to be

That’s fine, dude, no-one here has any expectations – just know that there are people here thinking of you and wishing all the best, who’ll be happy to listen and to talk when you feel like it.

@tdog – I have been in the pits of despair and my wife was suicidal so I have some idea of what you’re going through too.

One thing to try is seeing if you can get into the doctors and change your meds. I was on sertraline for 2 years and it didn’t help – just sunk further and further into the blackness. I am now on mirtazipine and feel a fair bit better. Still peaks and troughs but can sustain a relatively normal life.

Different AD meds suit different people so don’t just stick on the sertraline if it’s not doing it for you.

As per all the other offers my email address is in my profile and you can PM me any time. As an ex-Childline counsellor I would say do try to pick up the phone to someone even if you don’t say much. Just try to have contact with a couple of people and slowly learn to talk so to speak.

Wishing you well and you will get through it…