- Help Recalibrate My Moral Compass
I blame Princess Diana
It wasn’t Diane’s fault. She just got in a car with a pissed bloke! It was Tony Sodding Blair and that stuttering hammy speech. It seemed to give the hard-of-thinking catre blanche to start acting like Americans
Personally I think that anyone displaying Oscars-awards-speech style emotional incontenence, should be slapped around the face with a wet fish until they pull themselves together and remember they’re not from bloody San Diego 👿Posted 3 years agoTom_W1987Member
I’m like this as well Shib, my reaction usually goes along the lines of “Better you than me”. And then I go about my buisness as usual.
Some people have different ways of coping to others, I just accepted that and put up with people posting guff on facebook as most of my facebook friends are nice people.Posted 3 years agoslowoldmanSubscriber
I presume you mean the diana death media tossfest rather than the person. Quite what sparked it all off I’ve no idea, maybe a cabal of florists infiltrated the media and instigated the public grief competition.
Maybe it was the florists who put out the contract on her.
I had to do it to all my fiends who post their travelling pictures
Gypsy fiends?Posted 3 years agoHughStewMember
Nothing wrong with your moral compass. My Dad died 18 years ago and my Mum 11 years ago. I still miss them, and get a bit emotional when something (usually a song) triggers a poignant memory – but I wouldn’t dream of telling a load of random people on the internet about it.
Oh bugger.Posted 3 years ago
I find I’m becoming less and less tolerant of drivel I hear from people, particularly on Facebook.
This morning, it was “On this day, 21 years ago, heaven gained a new star… I MISS YOU MUM! The pain is greater than ever… :(“
For starters, since when did facebook become a portal for speaking to the dead. Secondly, it was 21 years ago… Isn’t it about time you pulled yourself together??
Anyway, it seems to take more and more will power not to post an inappropriate comment, I’ve even found myself – in moments of weakness – clicking the “like” button when I see this mawkish emotional diarrhea.
I fear it’s only a matter of time before my inner sociopath overwhelms any self-restraint I might have. Apart from deleting facebook; or having a purge of all the bed-wetting professional grievers, how can I become more tolerant of this sort of crap???Posted 3 years agoransosSubscriberPosted 3 years ago
I blame Princess Diana.emszMember
I think a bbit a grief is healthy. I’ve only really known one of my close family to die, my aunt ( dads sis) who I was v close to. I was 14 when she died and the funeral was full of tears and laughter. I can’t listen to Wednesday Week by the Undertones without instantly remembering watching my uncles shoulders heaving as he sobbed in the church as it played
We all ( as a family) post memories and wotnot on FB of her all the time
Probably a bit weak, Right?Posted 3 years agoDaRC_LSubscriber
I blame Princess Diana.
Her funeral was one of the best day’s riding I had 😀
I’ve managed to avoid all this mawkish stuff by delegating facebook activity to my wife = she filters the rubbish and keeps me updated on the relevant stuff (usually along the lines of have you seen your niece’s latest selfie 🙄 )
Ooops am I exhibiting an empathy fail?Posted 3 years ago
Is there a period where it’s ok to post grief related stuff or should it all be kept away from social media?
I think the first few minutes is fine, as long as it’s accompanied by “His/her family have been informed”, like they do on the news.
Other than that, facebook should be used purely for smutty innuendo, videos of accidents, and photos that hint at a lifestyle more opulent than anyone else’s.Posted 3 years agopondoMember
I set fire to the flowers on those little shrines that appear by the side of the road…
Tell you what, there’s a tree outside Longbridge that has had flowers – many, many flowers – stuck around it for as long as I’ve been in the area, knocking on eight years. That ain’t healthy, man, they folks need to move on.Posted 3 years agodangeourbrainSubscriber
My own solution to a similar problem was to remove my self from face book. The catalyst was the umpteenth reference to “my baby” whilst talking about their grown (and very alive) children, after posting “he’s not your ________ing baby, he’s 18 ________ing years old” I had a brief think about the fact that I had six friends on Facebook with whom I wouldn’t be able (because of distance) to go for a drink to discuss pointless drivel but would like to, a lot of “facebook friends” whom I wouldn’t visit the pub with, except by sheer coincidence, and a number with whom I did go to the pub and thus didn’t really use face book for anything other than sharing my (obviously hilarious) thoughts on topical news stories. And voila I’m Facebook free.
Nothing wrong with your moral compass mind, your anger is clearly your way of dealing with your overwhelming empathy with the poster some people cry, some get angry, let it out, share it and you’ll feel less angry…Posted 3 years agoWillHMember
Shibboleth – Member
Bizarrely, the overwhelming majority of humans – myself included – lose our loved ones
Ooh ooh me, me. I’m in the the overwhelming minority. A mate I hung out with at secondary school died a few years back, but by then we’d lost contact for quite a few years, I heard about his death through my sister a while afterwards. But that’s it. I can’t think of anyone who was more than a passing acquaintance in my life, dying. Every family member I’ve ever known since I was a child is still alive. I’m 35 now. Never been to a funeral.
Statistically, I guess people are going to start dropping like flies around me sooner or later, but I’m pretty certain I won’t be posting anything on Faceache about it…Posted 3 years agojohndohMember
Different people act differently. I would never do it myself (lost both parents) but my older brother sometimes posts about it on Facebook.
A very good friend is currently playing out her advanced brain tumour situation via Facebook (she’s now in a hospice, aged 42) and it is quite disturbing sometimes to read of her situation but she finds it cathartic so who am I to question it? I guess the same goes for those people who have lost others – they just find it helps to share their emotions…Posted 3 years agoCountZeroMember
I can’t think of anyone who was more than a passing acquaintance in my life, dying. Every family member I’ve ever known since I was a child is still alive. I’m 35 now. Never been to a funeral.
Maybe when a few of your closest friends or relatives die you might want to rethink your lack of empathy for others in the same situation.Posted 3 years ago
My dad died when I was thirteen, my mum died two years ago, my sister-in-law’s son committed suicide a year or so back following a period of bullying at the farrier college he was going to. Other friends and relatives have lost close family members, so I do have a lot of empathy for those who find it difficult to contain the grief and sense of loss.
It might ultimately make you a better human being.pondoMember
A very good friend is currently playing out her advanced brain tumour situation via Facebook (she’s now in a hospice, aged 42) and it is quite disturbing sometimes to read of her situation but she finds it cathartic so who am I to question it? I guess the same goes for those people who have lost others – they just find it helps to share their emotions…
I think that’s a different kind of thing – I think and hope it’s helpful for her to share, and I think it helps other people in that situation, too. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always felt that sharing grief publicly, after the fact*, is just a bit self-indulgent, and not really a positive thing.
* By which I mean years after the fact.Posted 3 years agoBigDummySubscriber
An enormous proportion of my facebook feed consists of posts I don’t agree with, am not terribly interested in or which make me cringe that someone thought it was appropriate to post them.
I assume that the person making them is speaking to a sub-set of their facebook audience which does not include me, and move on.
🙂Posted 3 years agoconvertSubscriber
We had a friend die terribly young (39) of breast cancer. On her birthday every year lots of her friends change their profile picture for the day to a picture of a sunflower they have grown that year- it was the flower that was handed to everyone at her memorial service at her instruction.
Nothing is said. It’s a relatively subtle way of using social media for stuff like this – I kind of like it. I hope it doesn’t seem too morbid by other people who didn’t know her.Posted 3 years agofishaMember
Nothing is said. It’s a relatively subtle way of using social media for stuff like this – I kind of like it. I hope it doesn’t seem too morbid by other people who didn’t know her.
Thats a subtle gesture of remembrance. I think the OP is more about the open gushing of sycophantic fawning comments.
Facebook would have a series of buttons. Like, Dislike, Pish, WTF etcPosted 3 years agonjee20Subscriber
Maybe when a few of your closest friends or relatives die you might want to rethink your lack of empathy for others in the same situation.
How does he lack empathy? Just said he hasn’t lost a relative.
A girl I lived with at Uni died soon after we graduated. I didn’t really get on with her, perfectly indifferent individual, just not my kind of person. The outpourings of grief on her Facebook page from people who felt similarly ambivalent seemed a bit crass for me. Actually had a bit of an argument with a mutual friend as I didn’t think it appropriate to go to the funeral of someone I didn’t particularly like in life, why, because they’ve died should I start liking them? Tragic as it was.
People still write on her profile fairly regularly, I find it a bit weird.Posted 3 years ago
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