Give me an excuse to get out of playing Wendyball!

I was always that kid that got picked last in PE,
I’ve been informed this particular group of 5 a side are of similar playing ability.
My biggest problem is I’ve previously shown interest in playing but in truth I have no desire to play!

Do I tell my true feelings? or do I use a STW supplied excuse?

Let rip!

Dodgy knees, from previous football injury. Mention ligaments, particularly anterior cruciate ligament and people generally reply with something along the lines of ‘oooooh, nasty’.

I’ve no idea what an anterior cruciate ligament is, or where it goes but I’ve heard it mentioned on match of the day.

Turn up once, be crap, never go again. You will have to put up with an hour of unpleasantness but they can never then say you didn’t turn up.

“My club doesn’t allow me to play social matches.”

“Sorry guys, actually, I don’t want to play”. Insert self deprecating joke if you want.

Some people shouldn’t be allowed outside unaccompanied!

Just play the bloody game yer wet lettuce.

…or get a responsible adult, not yourself obviously, to write a note to give to the teacher.

I don’t actually like football. I don’t really want to play. If you need me to make up the numbers I’ll play but only if you all agree to come out on a bike ride first

Call it wendyball in front of the people who asked you to play. They’ll probably retract the invitation…

If you need me to make up the numbers I’ll play but only if you all agree to come out on a bike ride first

…..and of course I will provide the bike and helmet.

Mtfu applies to fitba as well.

Turn up once, be crap, never go again

This is my preferred technique. I also prefer to break myself the one and only time I turn up. Be it warming up, watching or playing, I will snap something, FACT!

How about saying “nah, don’t like football”. Perhaps then someone who does like it will get a game instead.

Why show an interest in playing if you have no desire to play?

your friends:” we play 5 a side football do you fancy a game some time?”

you: “yeh cool that sounds good let me know when you need a player”

You :thinks(they’ll never take me up on that )

or
MY friends :” we play 5 a side football do you fancy a game some time?”

me :”don’t be retards you know I hate team sports if I want a homoerotic experience I’ll go to a gay bar”

me :thinks ( cool I’ve got 4 friends !)

If you call it wendyball you will undoubtedly have no coordination in either foot, so it begs to ask the question?
Why ask a muppet to play football with them. 🙄

Starting to play football again after a long break is pretty much knee-suicide. If you do have to play just say you play goalie and hope your team aren’t crap.

Just tell them you don’t want to. I got roped into a game a few years ago. I enjoyed it once I got started but I wouldn’t do it again

My preferred option was to turn up, then adopt the same attitude as a player who belongs in a 1970’s Leeds team.

You don’t get asked back. 😀

tell them you’re an uncoordinated pansy with a fear of physical contact and self-confidence issues that mean you didn’t tell them this initially

that’ll fool them

Say “yes” then don’t turn up. That way they’ll KNOW you’re a c…..

when playing 5 a side for the first time on astroturf with new work people, I ‘tackled’ my line manager resulting in him skinning both knees and elbows badly enough that he struggled to walk the next day. They were quite happy when I declined to play again.

Tell them you are crap at spitting, scowling and generally being a twit 😉

Tell them you’re on a promise.

Who the **** needs a chuffing excuse? Grow a pair and say straight out you have no interest and you’re not playing. End of.