Friends and the lack of. Depression, suicide and a friendly offer of a brew.

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Viewing 45 posts - 46 through 90 (of 118 total)
  • Friends and the lack of. Depression, suicide and a friendly offer of a brew.
  • Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    OP (and anyone else feeling similarly) – great thread. Well done for saying it “out load”

    New Forest area here. I’m not in the same boat but I most definitely am a grumpy **** who rides alone most of my time. Happy to join anyone for cake & a coffee (and a ride if needed), though that’s mostly evenings or some weekends

    jmatlock
    Member

    Well, my email is always on; as is the kettle in my workshop at weekends and the office kettle Monday to Friday.

    I’m also happy to set up a group chat/ whatsapp group for people to talk and vent.

    If you’re struggling then you’re not alone. Loads of people here care and are listening.

    Premier Icon jamj1974
    Subscriber

    Props to you jmatlock. I’m in North Birmingham, I keep an eye on my profile so if anyone wants to meet up for coffee or what would be the slowest ride of all time right now. Drop me a line. I ride a lot in Cannock and occasionally a quick hour in Sutton Park for a brief evening spin.

    My physical health is a bit shit right now,so when I say slow – I’m not being modest.

    Premier Icon gnusmas
    Subscriber

    Unfortunately i am nowhere near you to try and offer a ride, but i feel your pain. Been depressed for a while, posted on here a couple of months ago and had an amazing response.

    In between all the bickering and comical responses, everyone here will go out of their way to help and do what they can. We have been very privileged to be on the receiving end of it and will be eternally grateful for all that has been done.

    Had a group ride the other week, really uplifting. Still haven’t got round to cleaning my bike though.

    Good luck OP, email in profile if you need a shoulder.

    the00
    Member

    Check out Meetup. Great site and app for finding people and activities open to others.

    tymbian
    Member

    I’m happy to meet at Woburn or Possibly Chicksands. Off-road only for me though. Organised rides Every Sunday at Woburn. My email is in my profile..

    Premier Icon manton69
    Subscriber

    I call it cycle therapy. The chance of exercise, company, the ability to both talk about all sorts of rubbish, or just be silent and enjoy being out with others is a combination that makes for your health. I am down in Winchester if you ever fancy a bit of South Downs action.

    Well done on starting this as well. As a community this place can be amazing some times when the keyboard warriors take a back seat and you get genuine offers of help. Long may it continue.

    tomo51
    Member

    Im up in Bolton so if you are ever up my way please let me know (offer is also open to anyone else) I would be more than happy to meet up…. id love a riding buddy. At the moment i ride on my own. Ive been back riding for a few weeks. Also out of shape so im building my fitness back up.

    I think many guys (myself included) are/have been in a similar position and feel the need to battle on without saying anything. Its refreshing to see you reaching out. I know through personal experience that trying to sugar coat things on your own can make things worse.

    Although im a distance away if you ever want to chat or just vent over email let me know. Hapoy to help where i can.

    jmatlock
    Member

    This forum is at its best when people need each other , over the years of being a member I have seen a lot of examples of us rallying around to help people.

    It’s important to stick your ego to one side and either ask for help or offer help to others. With stuff like depression and mental health you literally might be saving a life.

    Houns
    Member

    Good post OP.

    I too suffer, really bad for the last 18 months (pretty much to the day) and think I’ve ridden a bike once in that time. Totally lost interest in anything bike related (Apart from posting crap on here) piled on a couple of stone and fitness has plummeted.
    I know there are folk out there (and some on this thread- a genuine thank you to you) that have offered to help, but I’m so flakey that I know if I arranged a ride I’d just let them down right at the last minute as I couldn’t face it.
    Luckily my brain lets me enjoy something, and that’s volunteering for the NT, so I’ve thrown myself fully in to that, it’s outdoors, active, and I go home feeling knackered… Just wish I got paid for it.

    One day I hope I can join you for a ride. Good luck Op (and others) and thank you all for offers of help

    JEngledow
    Member

    A few years ago I joined the local cycling club and after my wife and kids it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done, every week there is always someone to ride with and have a coffee and a few laughs and plenty of other informal rides throughout the week, I’ve lost weight and made new friends, I’d thouroughly recommend it.

    jmatlock
    Member

    Anyone struggling with the Monday morning blues?

    I know that a huge part of my depression is being stuck in a job that I hate and get zero satisfaction from. It weighs heavy on my mind.

    rhinofive
    Member

    OP – I’m 15 miles or so west of Cambridge and happy to get involved in anything arranged (with as much notice as possible of time, meeting point, pub / cafe stop etc)

    as per replies to the thread, you’re not alone and have done a good thing in ‘coming out’

    hopefully see you at some point

    Holyzeus
    Member

    OP, will mail you later

    cokie
    Member

    I’m near Swinley and the Ridgeway if you fancy a day on the trails and grabbing some food after 🙂 . This applies to anyone- always up for a bimble.
    Email in my profile.

    jmatlock
    Member

    The responses to this thread have made me smile on a rubbish Monday.

    We man not be able to agree on head angles and bike geo but we won’t let each other struggle.

    jonnyboi
    Member

    Anyone struggling with the Monday morning blues?

    I know that a huge part of my depression is being stuck in a job that I hate and get zero satisfaction from. It weighs heavy on my mind.

    same here, one thing I always do is have some kind of cycling/running event booked in the future, so I have a non work related personal goal in my life that I can focus on and work towards

    newrobdob
    Member

    Yet again this proves that bikes = awesome.

    Premier Icon xora
    Subscriber

    I live in Scotland but work in Cambridge, so if you wanted to guide a furriner sometime that would be great. I’m down every couple of months to the office.

    Anyone struggling with the Monday morning blues?

    Every Monday, usually drags on into Tuesday as well.

    @trademark from page 1. I may drop you an email. All my riding buddies either live at the other end of the country or have given up on bikes altogether. Not having a trail bike doesn’t help.

    Premier Icon woody2000
    Subscriber

    Calderdale (HD6) here, group ride + chinwag every Monday night if anyone needs it. Grumpy northern sod(s) blessed with a high “talking bollocks” tolerance!

    Email in profile 🙂

    jmatlock
    Member

    I hope we can put some people in touch with some other people and keep the thread relevant.

    teasel
    Member

    This thread is nice

    🙂

    Thanks for posting this jmatlock. If I were closer I’d love to come out for a ride, chat and cake. Unfortunately I’m a fair way away. Having a difficult couple of years with Funk Jr, plus the impending arrival of baby Funk and taking on more responsibility at work have pretty much killed my social life and fitness.

    It is what it is and I love my kids. Really miss regular riding and hanging with friends though. More so as the nights get longer. I have depression, managed with meds, but the long nights still take a toll. Writing this in front of one of those insane high powered lamps.

    Rant over. Kudos to you for starting this thread and I hope you find people to ride and eat cake with (mostly eat cake).

    teasel
    Member

    mostly eat cake

    NOOOOOO

    He wants to lose weight, dammit!

    jmatlock
    Member

    I can always manage a little bit of cake.

    Premier Icon manton69
    Subscriber

    Cake is fine, just ride a bit more 😉

    We are currently in the middle of setting up a charity mostly based on being outside doing something productive to help all sorts of mental health issues. I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that some of this is actually self medication. Just being outside doing anything seems to help a lot and it may also help if there are others around doing the same thing as you. This, for me, is often bike riding, but I have found that there are a lot of people who like learning new skills, some of which we may be able to turn in to some productive use. Surprisingly enough one of those things turned out to be spoon carving, which I now teach. I just used to do it when sitting around a camp fire, but loads of people love it. Who knew?

    Anyway if anybody is interested I have copied the link below ( definitely not an advert as we are still setting up, more as info if anybody who feels it may help and live near Winchester drop me a line on here or dm if you are interested).

    One Acorn

    newrobdob
    Member

    Calderdale (HD6) here, group ride + chinwag every Monday night if anyone needs it. Grumpy northern sod(s) blessed with a high “talking bollocks” tolerance!

    Is that Brighouse? Looking for folk to ride with in HD5 but that’s other side of Hudds. Currently have knackered legs and want to get out but would be seriously slow.

    andykirk
    Member

    jmatlock, I take my hat off to you, I really do. That was a brave post, but through your bravery and honesty you have made a lot of others reading this (and yourself probably) feel just a bit better about life. Well done.

    I am up in Scotland so far away but if I was closer I would have been proud to go out on the bikes with you.

    Good luck and keep the exercise up.

    Premier Icon bazhall
    Subscriber

    Just want to repeat what others have said about starting the thread and if I was closer I would be up for a cycle and chat but I’m in Wakey.

    If anyone in the area wants to meet up a chat, cycle or someone to off load to get in touch.

    I know what it’s like, I’m currently on anti depressants for the third time in 10 years and I’m likely to be on them for another at least another year. I try to get out on my bike whenever I can for a bit of me time and I find it helps to clear my head a wee bit and too get some excerise.

    Keep it OP, you’ve done th right thing in reaching out for someone to talk too.

    Premier Icon senor j
    Subscriber

    Hello
    I’m in North London &a miserablist, Chris Packham fan.But don’t let that put you off.
    I can show you Epping forest/Hertfordshire/Surrey/lakes&
    Chilterns if you fancy .but usually the first two.

    Email in profile .

    Ambrose
    Member

    STW has an uncanny knack of helping to sort things, even if only in a small way. I’m in sopping wet South West Wales and have been threatening to organise a group ride for far too long.

    I’m more than happy to share my favorite ride with you and lead a Tywi Track ride but bear in mind that it will be very wet, and bearing in mind that winter is on its way, very cold too. Multiple river crossings, a bothy, rocks, mud, wilderness… it’s an amazing experience, even better when shared.

    Ambrose

    Bike Ride of the Month – The Tywi Track

    Premier Icon woody2000
    Subscriber

    Newrobdob – it is brighouse, ride is 7pm from the Ritz nr Tesco. 2.5 hours or so, pint + natter afterwards 🙂

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    I’m always up for a ride. Cardiff and also a variety of places with work – currently Swindon.

    sbob
    Member

    I avoided this thread due to the thread title and my own problems, but I’m just down the road in St. Ives.
    I’ve also got a bit fat and my fitness is the worst it’s ever been as I’ve been off the bike due to injury.
    Would be well up for a ride, just need a bike first!

    Premier Icon Capt. Kronos
    Subscriber

    Very much the same position myself, but in the Lakes. Just coming to terms with the whole thing at the moment, which is hopefully the first step in dealing with it.

    If you are ever up this way give me a shout though!

    Premier Icon teadrinker
    Subscriber

    Fantastic thread and well done all for opening up. Surely this thread deserves a sticky to ensure it’s always at the top. You may not realise it jmatlock but I think you just created the most important thread on this site.

    jmatlock
    Member

    A sticky would be awesome. Just b nice to have a place where people can vent and listen to others and maybe ride some bikes together.

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    Wahey! I’ve had somebody take me up on my offer! Just need to firm up a date and gauge what numbers might be best before posting more detail on here.

    scud
    Member

    JMatlock – only just seen this thread, i am an only in North West Norfolk, between Swaffham and Dereham, so are always happy to rides bikes with any one and shoot the breeze, can cover riding from road bike through to mountain bikes and fat bikes, so let me know if you ever fancy coming over this way or hooking up in Cambridgeshire? I am also not the smallest of racing snakes either so can appreciate putting weight on when you take a step back from riding for a while!

    pauljwhitlock at gmail.com

    jmatlock
    Member

    Paul, I will drop you an email. I have a few to reply too. The response to the thread is amazing.

    BigJohn. Nice one for offering and I hope the ride goes well.

    Who do I need to ask to see if maybe we can make this a sticky

    flumewelck
    Member

    https://www.theswanseabay.co.uk/2016/06/29/bike-ride-month-tywi-track/
    Looks like a good ride Ambrose.. I just won’t wear waterproof boots.. be like having puddles on my feet all day.

    jmatlock
    Member

    Has anyone got any good recommendations of books or podcasts that have helped them during bad times?

    Holyzeus
    Member

    I found a book on CBT helpful

    Well done for starting this I am going through the same not sure what is wrong it’s just some days I have just had enough,I am not far away near Peterborough so could maybe meet up sometime but I am not very chatty I find it hard meeting new people,if your on Facebook there is a group called Peterborough mountain bike riders they do a night ride every Thursday night at 7 2/3 groups go out and they start/finish at a pub.

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