Friends and the lack of. Depression, suicide and a friendly offer of a brew.

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  • Friends and the lack of. Depression, suicide and a friendly offer of a brew.
  • Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    I am too far away, and also a horrible ****. But, good post, we need to be more open about shit like this.

    Premier Icon weeksy
    Subscriber

    I’m not in the same place as your mindset, but I am a great listener and can ride every weekend generally. I’m also over in Berks, so a hike. But the offer is of course there.
    Sat morning next week is likely ride day. Cake is mandatory.

    jmatlock
    Member

    I think it’s useful to have an open thread like this. Maybe a ‘we are riding here this weekend if anyone wants to join us’ kind of info.

    Would be nice to get people together to talk. We are an amazing community on here.

    Premier Icon lunge
    Subscriber

    I’m in the West Midlands and mostly a roadie now. But the offer is there to anyone, the OP included, who wants a brew, a cake and a spin on the road bike.

    wrightyson
    Member

    If you ever fancy a trip to Derbyshire then I will most certainly go for a pedal and coffee/breakfast.

    cdoc
    Member

    Would love to go for a ride mate, but I live a bit far away!

    I’m in a similar situation too, my only real friend has two wheels.
    I occasionally wonder about this, but then, I might just be an unlikable tosser. Hard to know for sure without feedback, though 🙂

    big yim
    Member

    I’d happily meet up at Cannock if you are ever over this neck of the woods. Just to warn you I will talk the back legs off a well manufactured donkey

    Sarf Downs rider here, more than willing to show off the Downs around Eastbourne or the nonexistent singletrack in Friston. Rides do involve pub stops, beer or cider.

    jmatlock
    Member

    The offers are amazing . Look how we rally around. Anyone reading this thread who is struggling and lives near any of these kind folk, I implore you to take them up on their offer and get some fresh air and some company.

    Premier Icon simmy
    Subscriber

    I’m in Bolton so a bit far way but I just want to say stick with STW.

    This place is fantastic when people need cheering up or any help.

    I ride alone all the time since my mates kids came along. I’ve missed loads of riding time thus year as I just CBA but I now set myself a goal to ride as much as possible.

    Set myself a desination then head there with the option of train ride back. Did that last week and got talking to a young couple who where cycling who were mad as a bag of frogs 😆

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Subscriber

    I’m too far North in Scotland, but I hope you find some folk to ride with and build some friendships.

    There is an active riding group at Rendlesham/area.

    burchill
    Member

    What are you doing tomorrow? I’m in Cambridge, have the day off, and have my bike with me. Was planning to cycle to Saffron Walden (or wherever!) if you fancy it?

    I have plenty of experience in what you’re going through, too, so we can go for a decent pedal and good chat.

    Email in profile, let me know!

    Harry

    Just to add – I have my mountain bike here too if you prefer to get muddy!

    I’m a miserable git, and seriously unfit and slow on the bike. However if you are ever down swinley forest way! I’m there

    oldnpastit
    Member

    I’m in Cambridge. I’ve PM’d you.

    Stay strong mate, too far away to offer help up in Cumbria, but great to see the fellowship of man , still strong as ever on this forum, great offers so far.

    I’m a miserable git, and seriously unfit and slow on the bike.

    Me too. I like to think it would make someone else feel better by default.

    Sorry I’m way down in Cornwall OP otherwise the offer would be there, well it still is but you know what I mean. You’ll find plenty of local support over the next day or so as people see the thread, I sincerely hope you find what you need. All the best.

    BITD people were organising rides on here all of the time. Hopefully this thread will kick that off again.

    Premier Icon Sandwich
    Subscriber

    If you want something a little hilly (?) I’m in Ipswich. Can meet you at the station for a bit of a mud fest. E mail in profile.

    lank45
    Member

    Anyone in West Yorkshire wanting a ride let me know, happy to chat or not if it helps someone. Mountain biker but don’t mind a slow canal bimble or an enduro session…

    BTW props to the OP for seeing something that can help and having the balls to come on here and seek a friend, can’t be easy but very admirable

    kevt
    Member

    Hi, have you tried things like meet up, there may be a group near you and it’s very easy to use and get you out with other folks.

    trademark
    Member

    Jmatlock, I’m in the same position as you but I’m in NE England so a bit far to do a day ride, else I would.
    I’m sure that you’ll get lots of locals (to you) from here offering their help so just hang on a while.

    bigh
    Member

    Wow, this thread. Refreshing. 🙂

    jmatlock
    Member

    I figured I wouldn’t be the only one struggling. But as blokes we never speak up. So, if we can put people in touch with others and get guys out talking and riding, brilliant.

    Premier Icon russyh
    Subscriber

    Other side of the country to you in Gloucestershire, but I’m always happy to ride with someone new.

    jmatlock
    Member

    So , seems a bit weird posting this. But here goes.

    I could use a friend(s)

    I am in a really bad place depression wise right now. I have struggled for years and have had all sorts of therapy and take daily medication:

    I have gained a lot of weight recently. I started off a few years ago at 26 stone and got down to 15 stone. But the depression and anxiety never disappeared with it. I’m have crept back up to 19 stone and I need to turn it back around.

    What I would love is to have a friend or two that I could regularly get out for a ride with, maybe stop for a coffee and just shoot the breeze.

    Im very conscious that suicide is the biggest killer of guys my age. And without a doubt had it not been for my 2 amazing kids I wouldn’t be here today.

    So I’m offering this, anyone out there ( I live in Cambridge but will happily travel) who is also struggling who needs a mate to go for a spin on the bike, have a brew and a cake and a decent laugh or just a friendly ear to listen. Let me know.

    I could use one too, so anyone local fancy a spin, get in touch.

    Premier Icon lungman
    Subscriber

    I’m based near Reading so Swinley forest or Chilterns for a ride. Plenty of cracking pubs and no shortage of coffee shops if anyone wants to meet up.

    Jay

    toby1
    Member

    Whereabouts are you, central? There’s a few clubs about that may be worth a look if you are looking for roadie buddies.

    I’m usually busy during the week as I work in London, free during the day Saturday if that’s any help though, email’s in my profile.

    Alpha1653
    Member

    OP, did you see Burchill’s post above? Wouldn’t want you to ask for help and miss the most useful reply!

    hambl90
    Member

    I’m a bit far away from you but if you find yourself in South Wales ( I’m near cwmcarn ) give me a shout , I’ve also suffered from depression for the last 16 yrs.

    P.s I also love coffee and cake 🙂

    Premier Icon keith74
    Subscriber

    Know what your going through as have the same feelings often.Only real friends is my bikes.

    In Scotland so bit far away but it’s good to chat about it and as men we always try to cover it up.

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Subscriber

    Another Derbyshire sufferer/listener here.

    Earlier this year I got involved in organising informal social rides supported by Fat Lad at the Back. It’s got me out riding, doing something I love, and meeting lots of other people who just need someone to organise a get together to ride. It’s been great for me and the feedback has been really positive.

    Even today I had 9 out in shitty windy weather for a cafe ride.

    Jmatlock I’m in Ely, sending you a PM

    Premier Icon Ashy
    Subscriber

    I’m up in York. More than happy to meet up with anyone in my neck of the woods.

    wrightyson
    Member

    simondbarnes – Member 

    BITD people were organising rides on here all of the time. Hopefully this thread will kick that off again.

    So on the basis of that very post, I’m in de56 area if anyone wants a pedal out for any reason then I will gladly lead a march to the nearest hills and cafe.
    I don’t think I have an email in my profile but will add one.

    jmatlock
    Member

    This thread can be anything it needs to be, arrange rides, talk about stuff, offer some advice and support.

    It’s a killer, it really is. And it’s nice to be able to get guys talking about it.

    I’m miles away from you but have been through it too. Good post – opening up is key. Hope you get out for a ride/blether and cuppa.

    TS

    Premier Icon kimbers
    Subscriber

    In in Milton Keynes, family committments mean it’s a weekly night ride at Woburn for me, start at 8ish weds or Thurs, welcome to join me !

    bubs
    Member

    Noth Downs and/or Surrey Hills breeze shooter here if needed.

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    I’m near Cannock Chase. I scan the front page of the forum a couple of times most days.

    If anybody at all wants to go mountain biking, road biking or windsurfing near here for a day, for the sake of their health or somesuch, either start a thread saying so (and keep bumping it) or email me.

    I’m usually able to free myself up given a bit of notice, I’m a good listener (and better talker!) and if you post on here there’ll be a whole posse coming out.

    If you don’t have kit, I can probably sort something suitable. If you don’t have transport, I’ll pick up from Stafford Station.

    podman
    Member

    I’m also in Cambridge (for now), I’ll get in touch in a moment.

    Premier Icon schmiken
    Subscriber

    I’m in Loughborough and willing to ride at any pace if people need an ear to blether at 🙂

    Premier Icon Coyote
    Subscriber

    OP. Well done. You have people talking. Good thread and good luck to you.

    project
    Member

    jmatlock Some great responces there above, just dont ask any details of their school days youll be in for serious laughter and surprise.

    Best wishes on finding a riding partner, youve got a hell of a choice there.

    dannyh
    Member

    Loughborough too here. I ride pretty much every Saturday morning locally, more often than not on my tod, so again, if you’re in the area feel free to PM or post on here.

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