I just found an old suitcase full of (vietnamese?) woman’s clothes, and some unused police-type evidence bags, near a layby whilst out walking. Seems a bit strange to me.. Maybe a tourist had her bag stolen and dumped, but scenesafe evidence bags?

Whats the strangest thing you’ve found?

2 miles from any water,a huge dead salmon.

Bloody Ospreys

A powder fire extinguisher, on a solo night ride.

Pin out.

I had to try the handle didn’t I?

Noise like a 747 taking off, huge cloud of powder, head and bike lights flashing all over the place and the reflections blinding me.

Me riding off. Fast.

God knows what anyone seeing it from a distance would have thought. Alien landings?

Not weird so much – considering it was Northern Canada – as haunting, but a half-decomposed moose carcass.

There was something about the empty eye sockets that had me KOM-ing before Strava.

dead person whilst walking dog. calling non emergency number apprently isn’t the thing to do. I explained that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Scuba diving fin, miles from the sea

Not so much found as observed…… a couple on one of the bridges between the Glyncorrwg ponds and the Afan trailhead. I could see them from miles away and although i couldn’t see what they were doing, I could see something looked a little odd.

As i got closer, it was her face that wasn’t normal, like she had really heavy white pan stick make up on

When i got close enough i could see he was taking photos of her, she had a long coat on but underneath quite clearly was in ‘glamourwear’ shall we say – and the pan stick wasn’t but instead was one of those plain white face masks

She / they made no attempt to hide what they were doing and stood in silence as I passed, which combined with the mask was vaguely unsettling.

big  ol’  tortoise

I also found a man choking, on the railway climb on Tunnel Hill. Fortunately another man had got there before me and was doing the Heimlich manoeuver on him. So vigorously that their trousers seemed to have fallen down as a result. It clearly worked because when they heard me approach, he’d recovered well enough to leap up and run off into the bushes.

Opportunity to park your bike ?

edit …. Oh … that was for theother… but guess it’ll work for the above too !! lol

I wonder how many more ?

I’ll dig out a pic of the Rainford Road of Teeth later.

in a forest in France – official signs ( in English) saying that if you hear a loud whooshing noise leave the area quicky and don’t look back.

A fox pushing a wheelbarrow …miles from anywhere by the side of the trail..

I’m guessing a porn shoot isn’t particularly weird then? (she had less on than it sounds like jon’s did, but I didn’t look too closely

A DofE group….

Zipping along ‘Dogger Dodging’ a few summers ago trying to get back to the car before the sun set, I suppose you could argue we were as late as they were early, but it certainly lived up to its name.

I also found a man choking, on the railway climb on Tunnel Hill. Fortunately another man had got there before me and was doing the Heimlich manoeuver on him. So vigorously that their trousers seemed to have fallen down as a result. It clearly worked because when they heard me approach, he’d recovered well enough to leap up and run off into the bushes.

Chuckled at this 😆

I was searching out new trails and found a path leading into some woods.  I followed it and there was a path around the woods but no exit.  somewhat confusing – then I spotted all the condom and lube packs!  Ermmm – I don’t think it was a MTB trail I found

Another glamour shoot –  in Wharncliffe Woods.  They seemed a bit surprised that there were other people about.

Nice rack 🙂

I rode through a halloween costume party and got chased by a werewolf.

pushing the bike up a steep bridleway along a quarry, riding distance from Bakewell. Pages from a really dirty 80s pron mag were ripped out and in the hedgerow along the bridleway. There was a page every 10m or so. It was like i was following a trail of pron, featuring very hairy ladies.

When we got to the top, a group of young girls (DofE group) passed us, to walk down the trail. They will have got an education!

At the top, of the bridleway we found a big mound of stuff, about a metre high. As we got closer, it turned out to be a pile of nylon knickers, bras and stockings.

We checked on google later. It was a prime dogging site and we had found the “marked trail”! Who goes dogging in a quarry??!!

We have a “singing ringing fairy tree” on the Hamble, it’s a bit weird because its covered in stuffed toys, dolls, trinkets and all manner of brightly coloured toys..

I’ll try a post a pic later.

Amateur close up photograph of a ladies left boob found in a bush

Sex of all sorts including a very amateur porn shoot which consisted of a couple of young women, a crate of beer, not much clothing and middle aged fella with a fancy looking camera. The only oddity of this one was that it was on the canal in a relatively urban area that I wouldn’t have described as secluded, I doubt I would have been the only person to pass them.

Glue sniffers (this was a long time ago), that jumped out of the trees like some demented version of Peter Pan’s lost boys.

A collection of gurkhas lying in a ditch all pointing their weapons across the path I was riding on.

People having a sexy time has only ever been amusing but the Gurkhas was the one that felt the most unsettling.

Sadly not sexytimes, but round by us there’s a small ravine in some woods which has artillery shells dumped in it. Presumably was formerly covered, now I suppose they’ve been uncovered by erosion/whatever. There was a large munitions store nearby which was decommissioned so looks like they just unloaded the shells and dumped them a couple of hundred yards away in the woods. When I Googled the codes stamped on the shells it suggested they were WW1…

I found a couple of binbags full of old bikinis,bras and panties, near a beach/campsite. Someone must have been ‘collecting’ them for years

Weirdest … I just got to the top of a climb and literally nearly rode into a woman squatting and having a slash. All I could muster was a “maaarning” and a little chuckle.

Most memorable …. Found a suicide victim hanging from a tree a couple of  years ago now.  Better ways to start the day if honest.

Sex swing. Not surprisingly on Cannock chase.

Here it is..

Not in the woods but on top of a hill (Werneth Low) riding towards the war memorial up there last summer and came across a lady on her knees who appeared to blowing up a man shaped balloon, she appeared to be having some trouble with it as every now and then she would have to give the hose she was blowing into a couple of shakes(like Bez playing his maraccas).

Funny once she spotted me she and the balloon man appeared to fall down.

I have a few good ones…

in a remote part of my local woods a small hidden garden, with patio set and BBQ, even has a small lawn area, creeped me out so I’ve not been back but still ride by…should see if it’s still there.

Also come across a bunch of people dressed up as wizards and orks and the like, took me a while to work it out

and on a night ride some sicko had dressed a tree up like the Blair witch project.  I was solo too.

Weirdest thing by far, was what I didn’t see once,  in the middle of the woods quite a way from any entrance an entire metal bridge had been nicked!

Transvestite with a broken leg…

I’ve seen a horse fly

2 “stags” with locked horns.  My mate and I cycled past, almost close enough to have touched them (or be gored to death)

(They were actual boy-deer; the quotation marks are there because this was in the new forest so they’re only small deer.  Drew quite a crowd of does though, who also ignored us and stood watching the fight)

Knacker boxing ring Inc benches for spectators.

two are memorable

1. being shot at, well not really but some idiots were shooting at rooks in a field next to a road junction and the shotgun pellets were bouncing off our helmets as we stood and worked out which way to go…

2. saw some knickers in a tree…not so surprising…followed by another pair and another and another. But as Hansrey up there has suggested, it was probably a dogging trail (didn’t know at the time)

My fair share of doggers of every persuasion, longleat mostly but also browns folly and stourhead

But a lady dressed as a pony with rains and blinkers  stands out.

But nothing at all for a few years. Maybe I’m riding less maybe people have become shy round here

Exploring some woods when I was a teenager, I came across a couple of abandoned train carriages.  There was an old railway line decommissioned by Beeching so they would have been there all that time.  Didn’t seem to be much of a trail in and they hadn’t seen much vandalism so I suspect they are largely forgotten.

Another..not too long ago ( January ) we were on the Keelmans Way ( river Tyne near to Ryton )  when we passed half a dozen very attractive bikini clad young lasses ( late teens / early twenties ) in a jacuzzi ..enjoying some bubbly ..this in the backyard of only one of four houses  yards from the river.

Don’t know who got the biggest shock !

This after passing a ‘ dummy tree’ just prior . why ?…and also spotting my first sighting of otters ( 3) in the wild ..in a well used “country park” totally un-fazed by the amount folks who were around ..all on the same ride ..

Having lived in the country for most of my life it was a bit unreal seeing them in such an urban setting  .

Funny stick thing sticking out of a patch of recently disturbed ground in a clearing in Coltness woods in Wishaw(Perchy will know the area) ……As a diligent Countryside Ranger for the council I investigated, wiggled it a few times before I realised it was the decomposed remains of a dogs leg. I threw up.

A Cougar, no not one of those,  a cougar!  In the mountains in Colorado. Jumped out onto the trail about 100 metres away. Saw me and legged back into the forest.

Also heard a Tiger growl when riding through a forest in southern india. Was really loud and sounded quite close. The most chilling sound I have ever heard.