Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 104 total)
  • Found in the woods- whats the weirdest thing you’ve seen?
  • slowoldman
    Full Member

    Near where I grew up there was a condom tree.

    Malvern Rider
    Free Member

    Was walking in some oak woods just outside of (if memory serves me well) La Rochelle, and we happened across a couple of old buildings (WW2-looking hangar-type constructions), half over-grown.  Couldnt resist a peep and so went inside one.  Was dark, but a few chinks of light through the holed roof showed that it was full of old rusty iron beds and literally mountains of paper documents full of names.  My French was poor so I never got to the bottom of the mystery.  Not so strange in retrospect.

    Also, nr Royan/Saint George, I was camping near some woodland.  One evening I went to the edge of the woods to take a wizz, and saw some brown crickets nearby.  There were hundreds of them, and they all began hopping into the woods when I approached.  I followed the crickets and it was just light enough to see a little path through the trees.  Eventually the little way was so overgrown that I was picking my way, and the crickets had long gone.  But I saw something distinctly un-woody looming amidst the trees and ivy.  It was a really old school bus.  A yellow school bus.  Now mostly rust and moss.  It was broken almost in half and mangled as one might expect from a terrible collision. The smaller trees were at least forty or fifty years old, some of which had grown through the roof of the bus.  It was a strange thing to find in the woods.

    bowglie
    Full Member

    A bloke giving his dog a hand shandy….Urgh!  Oh, and the usual Sherwood Forest doggers.  A couple of my pals have renamed a stretch of singletrack ‘Cockermouth Corner’ after a near collision with a fella playing a tune on his friends blue vein flute….while an old fat bloke looked on chocking his chicken (Prompted me to ask “what tyres for sp*nk”)

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    sharkbait
    Free Member

    Another dead person here.

    Chap had a rope tied around a tree, through the back of his van and round his neck. Seems he then drove away.

    Near Delamere (Primrose to be exact).

    That was 20 years ago and it still gives me the creeps whenever I’m up there.

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Christ! I’m trying not to imagine that.

    On a lighter note….maybe…..Andy’s tiger

    The most chilling sound I have ever heard.

    The man choking on the railway climb – not exactly chilling, but absolutely memorable. Very ‘guttural’. Bad case of the willies, I don’t mind saying.

    GlennQuagmire
    Free Member

    Driver’s side rear lamp from a 2003 Peugeot Boxer minibus.

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    A bloke sat slumped in his car. I think he had a leak because a kind lady was trying to blow him back up.

    He was very friendly and waved at us when we rode past.

    ghostlymachine
    Free Member

    A pair of ladies shoes screwed to a tree stump on a  horrible muddy sludgy trail about 3 km from the nearest solid ground.

    blitz
    Full Member

    Came across this in the middle of the woods about a mile from any road  

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    On my adventures in the woods behind Nationwide:

    Didn’t quite see a tarantula being attacked by a hawk wasp.  Saw the spider move as I went by but it was right by the edge of the trail in the shade & didn’t see what else was going on (the spiders are pretty common so I didn’t stop)
    Met a guy a bit further up who’d sat & watched the wasp dragging it across the open trail – “ossum sight, dood” and I suspect he was right

    … and I once bunnyhopped a rattlesnake (that I thought was just a stick ’til it moved)

    Oh, and once I found a jeep on a dirt road with a tyre blown off its rim, containing 4 young ladies in bikini tops & shorts.  They didn’t know how to change a wheel.  Boy, were they glad to see me ! (err, no, not that glad)

    colournoise
    Full Member

    Relatively common in the local woods to see nuns riding bikes.

    Doggers / BJs / filming lewd acts also fairly regular.

    Weirdest though was a group ride a few years ago. We all rode out of some singletrack onto a fire road to be greeted by the sight of a naked guy riding a proper old school MTB. He turned round and rode in the opposite direction. A little later we had stopped for a chat and saw the same rider in the distance. He stopped and this time got dressed before he silently rode past us again. His chosen outfit to protect his modesty? Cut-off denim daisy dukes and a skimpy pink crop top…

    ferrals
    Free Member

    As a kid, was exploring some new singletrack I’d spotted and found it led to a fairly large scale amount of gorilla gardening.

    More recently found my way blocked by a small band of people doing some kind of medieval battle re-enactment.

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    I once saw a larger lady squatting down having a piss under a bridge on the canal. It took me quite by surprise and thinking I should say something to make her feel better and let her know I wasn’t a perv I shouted “WAHEYY” and rode off.

    I’ve ridden through Cannock shit loads at night and never happened upon any aliens, werewolfs, black eyed girls or doggers. Shame really.

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    as mentioned further up the thread – the road of teeth. Its not a whole road of teeth mind you – they were only used to fill the potholes

    MarkBrewer
    Free Member

    A Ford sierra in a pretty remote place on the Blackdown hills while out night riding, must have been stolen and dumped and looked like it had been there a few years but whoever got it there had some good offroad driving skills.

    And a couple up on the Quantocks in the Triscombe dh area.

    1st was a hippie looking guy sat on the floor cross legged reading a book next to a jump on one of the dh runs. He didn’t even flinch from his book as I sailed past inches from his head!

    2nd was late one evening just as it was starting to get dark, I was riding up the fireroad and an oldish guy dressed all in black was coming out of the trees with a spade in his hand.

    At first I thought he must have been just digging some trails but he just looked really out of place and there was definatly something not right about him. He looked like the sort of person who had just buried somebody!!

    WillH
    Full Member

    Nothing dodgy, (un?)fortunately.  On a group ride through the FOD many years ago we were all flying down a bit of singletrack that was quite narrow and little overgrown, and just before it popped out onto a forest road there was a lady just off the side of the track, squatting, troos round her ankles.  She must’ve been looking for a nice private spot to have a quick wee and spotted what looked like a little-used track…  next minute there’s a dozen blokes whizzing past about 3 feet away  🙂

    natrix
    Free Member

    Cycling home from work through the woods with a dimming light, rode over something. Stopped to see what it was – an anti-personel mine! Presumably a dummy and part of some night time army exercise, gave me a momentary shock though. ☠️

    PJM1974
    Free Member

    At 10am one bright and warm Saturday morning, I came belting round a bridleway path corner to be greeted by the sight of a ned squatting by the path, grey traccies round his ankles.  To his credit, he greeted me with a cheery “morning!” but he was apparently oblivious to the public convenience a hundred yards away.

    cyclingwilly
    Free Member

    I found a Mepps No2 fishing lure and 12″ wire trace on the fells where I live, at least 3 miles in any direction from any water.

    On another occasion, a 27″x1&1/4″ inner tube, a red plastic belt, a sock and a pair of glasses on a very rarely used footpath.

    A portable tv, lodged in the branches of a tree.

    A wallet stuffed with money in a crack on a wall, the thing is, I’d noticed this for month or more, when out on my bike and I thought it was a piece of wood.

    The best one, was, one night, I was shooting rabbits on a night and heard some yodelling (No, it wasn’t someone making a delivery), but, guy in a Baby Doll nightdress dancing and prancing. As I crept closer and very quietly, I noticed who it was, I’ve never said a thing to him, but if he ever upsets me, I will be saying something!!!

    spot
    Free Member

    metal band in full corpse paint filming for a musicvideo

    I felt sorry for the dude who had to haul the drumkit all the way into the woods

    stewartc
    Free Member

    Part of the Berlin Wall, in woods just outside Newbury.

    An army backpack, obviously left by a squaddie hoping to cheat some run/march.

    kimbers
    Full Member

    skeleton in a burnt out car on a hill just outside cambridge, was a bit like lukes aunt & uncle in star wars ;-(

    on a night ride, a guy drinking a can of cider while another guy gave him a bj, a 3rd guy was holding his can for him

    they scrabbled to stand up and gave me a cheery hello as I passed

    cokie
    Full Member

    ohh, Stewart- where abouts?

    For me, old WW2 airbase completed with abandoned military, civi cars and other military paraphernalia. Also a few air raid shelters and amo stores with old pots, pans and beds. Don’t want to start digging around in the area though. Completely open with no fences or signs. This is all in the woods and very overgrown.

    Other things include an old farm shutdown in the foot-and-mouth crisis. Everything unlocked and open. Office is just abandoned with paperwork everywhere. Still some feed in the silos. Animals where burnt and buried round the back. Really dark place. All overgrown and wel hidden in the woods.

    senorj
    Full Member

    A man waving his “angry” penis at me.

    A lady having her photo taken whilst doing naked yoga.

    Evidence of devil worshippery , pentangles,feathers and wot-not.

    RaveyDavey
    Free Member

    Once whilst being ‘reinflated’ by a kindly woman, I saw a load of grown men on pushbikes covered in mud 😯

    natrix
    Free Member

    old WW2 airbase

    Now that sounds interesting, whereabouts is it????

    brassneck
    Full Member

    The Rubber Johnny Tree just outside Andover is a landmark on one of my road loops. I’m assuming this is like scent marking or something.

    First time I noticed it I was more concerned about the littering of foil packets on the road side. Then I looked up a bit.

    Eurgh.

    cokie
    Full Member

    old WW2 airbase

    Now that sounds interesting, whereabouts is it????

    It was called RAF Hampstead Norris.
    Some info on WIKI and some photos from an explorer. There’s more there than those photos. He’s missed all the vehicles and other buildings. If you ride through the woods, you’ll notice that the paths/trails are all muddy but very squishy year rounds, that’s because they are actually all roads. You can scoop about 6+inches of organic rotting matter to reveal the concrete. You could spend days up there.

    Beagleboy
    Full Member

    I’ve been out solo night riding and ridden past circles of a dozen or so Druids a few times as I’ve climbed up into Mine Woods at the Back of Bridge of Allan. Always try to give them a cheery ‘Hello Pagans’ as I pass. A few years ago, in the same area, a bunch of us dropped down a wee chute into a scene from a medieval battle. Seriously, two guys in full armour, beating each other up with swords. Apparently they were filming a scene for a movie…..yeah right. Last summer a couple of mates were with me when we rounded a corner right into the middle of a ‘glamour’ shoot. The photographer panicked and tried to throw the very nice young lady her robe, but she didn’t seem to fazed. She just laughed and waved as we went past. Thing is we were on the road at the time, in the middle of the afternoon. We’d just ridden along the Skiddaw House to Mosedale bridleway and were starting the road descent down to the cake shop when we nearly ran the photographer over!

    Northwind
    Full Member

    <div class=”bbp-reply-content”>

    At first I thought he must have been just digging some trails but he just looked really out of place and there was definatly something not right about him. He looked like the sort of person who had just buried somebody!!

    </div>
    One time up at Bonaly I found 2 policemen, looking suspiciously at a grave-shaped hole. Borrow pit for a jump someone had built, I explained. So they stopped looking suspiciously at the grave-shaped hole and started looking suspiciously at me

    tinybits
    Free Member

    In the woods at the back of Bath university, a full scale battle of orcs, elves, wizards ect. I nearly fell off the bike laughing when one guy shouted “get these spells off me so I can fight”

    Still, no odder than riding down the muddy hill on a bicycle!

    petec
    Free Member

    blimey cokie – that’s good. Where’s the vehicles and amo stores?

    I’ve got to take the FiL for a walk on saturday; i was just going to the taproom at west berks, have a quick 30 sec pootle then a couple of pints. But the old base sounds better – he’d enjoy that

    I’m often cycling up Thorn Hill or between Ashamptead and Yattendon. Just try and avoid the main road I guess.

    https://binged.it/2psvgLQ

    natrix
    Free Member

    RAF Hampstead Norris.

    Thanks Cokie, looks like an interesting place to visit

    cokie
    Full Member

    Petec, I’m local too!

    Best access is to park on Water Street (red cross) and then take Scotals Lane- you’ll pop out the end into a field. Straight over the field and up the hill (could be a little steep forFiL?). It’s flat once you’re at the top. From there it’s wooded section pictured. It’s a case of walking up the footpaths and then walking off when you spot something. Not much growth this time of year so should spot the buildings and cars. I’ve never correlated my findings with a map as it can be quite disorientating. Some of the cars are about 20ft into the woods on the West tree line (top pic shows how close the cars are to the field).

    This map is also good

    Anyway, back to condom trees..

    petec
    Free Member

    excellent – cheers Cokie. Does sound slightly more exciting then strolling through the Pang Valley pointing out royal residents (and Tarrant) again

    FiL should be able to cope (he’s the man who once invited me for a walk to the pub. Twenty miles later we finally got there).

    i think that’s the walk sorted!

    cokie
    Full Member

    Petec, yeah- best time of year to go and explore.
    If you want a pub- The White Hart is in the village.

    Other option is to actually start at the The Bell Inn (proper old pub- I’m sure you’ve been) and walk to/from there.
    There’s a few footpaths across the fields that take you almost in a straight line to the woods. No hills and not therefore not the best views.

    petec
    Free Member

    Oh I’ve been to the Bell so many times. We often cycle up from Streatley on a Friday night, have a few too many, then cycle back down the ridgeway at whatever time they’ve kicked us out. Crashed slightly too many times.

    Never tried the White Hart;  always used to go to the Pot Kiln when over that way, but now the Taproom is there, with all 15 Westberks/Renegade beers on tap, we spend too much time in there. Even the kids’ll do a 40km round trip cycle for it

    rOcKeTdOg
    Full Member

    shermer75
    Free Member

    This after passing a ‘ dummy tree’ just prior . why ?

    What is a dummy tree?

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 104 total)

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