Hmm a book entitled “pictures not to masturbate over” and a game involving large plastic penis that you put milk in and pump.

TBH I’d rather have those lynx shower/antiperspirant packs.

For my fortieth, my sister bought me…  A skateboard!

I’ve not been on a skateboard since I was about 10, and was rubbish on it then!

It wasn’t even ironic, or some sort of joke…

I mean, what’s an overweight 40 year-old, with 3 young kids, who doesn’t have time to ride a bike, going do with a skateboard???

Thanks…  Good job she’s generous with the kids!

A fridge, not that crap you say.
I was 11.

The oddest one in recent years was the Top Gear themed toiletries set.

I’m not a fan of the show at all.

The aftershave Balm was pretty good though, TBF.

Hot off the press.

A ‘Mamod’ miniature steam engine. It was a beautiful scaled traction engine, very authentic. The boiler was heated with alcohol burning in a small steel tray. It required a fair amount of setting up, and careful use as it was basically a small fire boiling water inside a steel tank, powering a belted wheel for forward motion.

Granted, it was the early 1970s, but: FFS, Dad, I was 5!

Live Steam Models

Haha, clearly a present for himself there.

Not at all like when I got my five-year-old the new Mario Kart.

😀

Is that the red mould from war of the world’s bear?

Bucket would make a good ashtray.

Not necessarily the worst but the most disappointed I’ve been

Back when The Godfather trilogy came out on DVD for the first time. I was a total movie buff at the time and was dying for it.

Parents had the presents under the tree and there was one for me that was the exact proportions of The Godfather box set. I was so excited.

On Xmas morning I made a beeline for it, tore off the wrapping paper…and discovered 3 blank video tapes 🤦‍♂️😭

For my 40th, off my sister, a croquet set. Oh, how she knew me and my auld Victorian ways so well!

I mean, what’s an overweight 40 year-old, with 3 young kids, who doesn’t have time to ride a bike, going do with a skateboard???

Handy for moving washing machines if you don’t have any other means!

I mean, what’s an overweight 40 year-old, with 3 young kids, who doesn’t have time to ride a bike, going do with a skateboard???

Give it to your kids in a couple of years?

A fridge, not that crap you say.

Maybe they just hoped to see your face light up when you opened it?

As a 13 year old boy, I was looking forward to getting my first ‘biker’ style leather jacket.

Unfortunately, it was of a rich burgundy colour, and held together with glue.

My halfwit brother got one too, as if to rub it in.

Luckily I outgrew both before I got some hand-me-down.

Thank f@£k for puberty!

But the next year I got a vic-20.

My uncle gifted me a glow-worms colouring book (price printed on the cover iirc £1) with 5 felt tip pens. I was 15.

When I was fairly young my dad got me a set of junior golf clubs hoping I’d take it up.

Golf ffs!

My uncle gifted me a glow-worms colouring book (price printed on the cover iirc £1) with 5 felt tip pens. I was 15.

That’s punishment for anyone using the word “gifted”.

Talking of colouring books, mate got me this. Not sure whether its a terrible or brilliant present tbh!

(censored by me 😁)

codybrennan

Member

A ‘Mamod’ miniature steam engine. It was a beautiful scaled traction engine, very authentic. The boiler was heated with alcohol burning in a small steel tray. It required a fair amount of setting up, and careful use as it was basically a small fire boiling water inside a steel tank, powering a belted wheel for forward motion.
Granted, it was the early 1970s, but: FFS, Dad, I was 5!

Our Dad’s must have been very similar, Christmas 1970 I got exactly the same.. I was 5 and yes I burnt myself with the Meths flame & the steam but that was a learning experience.

Its given me a healthy respect for hot things & pressurised systems 😉

Glandular Fever from a random encounter this time 5 years ago

Still mind, at least I got prescribed high strength Codeine

My crackers ex wife… every Christmas the kids would beg me to buy the presents so they didn’t get staplers from wilcos !
One time she got me a knee length indian shirt with gold buttons that came off from the indian supermarket where I used to buy spices , I’m not indian and I’m 5ft 6″ SO IT CANME TO MY ANKLES ,VERY DAPPER .
Another year a book I had just bought myself went missing and I got it back wrapped on Christmas day .

Parents had the presents under the tree and there was one for me that was the exact proportions of The Godfather box set. I was so excited.

On Xmas morning I made a beeline for it, tore off the wrapping paper…and discovered 3 blank video tapes

This is my favourite so far.

Do you want a lend of my box set?

Another year a book I had just bought myself went missing and I got it back wrapped on Christmas day .

I think I’ve bought all my own pressies this year TBH. Fortunately my memory is not the greatest, so I’ll still be pleasantly surprised at how thoughtful I have been.

That’s punishment for anyone using the word “gifted”.

Got off lightly – more fitting punishment is being disembowelled and your entrails set on fire in front of you.

I can’t help thinking I’m not the only one who really really wants one of those MAMOD steam things and can’t understand why they would EVER be a crap present!!

Own up, can remember someone on here previously saying they once received a “fart in a jar”, from their brother. Still makes me laugh.

How was the Maxell box set @Boardinbob? One for the Netflix recommendations thread?

I met my wife 17 years ago, every year without fail my father-in-law and my sister-in-law both get me a 2 or 3 piece toiletry set with shampoo in, I’ve been bald for 20 years!

How was the Maxell box set @Boardinbob? One for the Netflix recommendations thread?

@davieg

To be fair, a blank video tape is better than The Godfather Part 3

It was the mid-80s. The Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me Baby” was no 1 for weeks. My aunt got me a cassette of “Val Doonican’s greatest hits.” For you young people, Youtube him if you want to know how he would be unlikely to appeal to a 15 year old.

in the early nighties i asked my mum for an Animal tshirt.
christmas day i was given a T-shirt with 3 dophins on, and learnt a lession in being more specific about brands.

My Girfiend’s Grandad bought me a box of five small cigars.

I didn’t smoke. But in the spirit of Christmas I opened them. To find there were 3 1/2 cigars in there. Yes not only had one been smoked, one had been half smoked and the remains returned to the tin.

The gentleman presenting the gift was a cigar smoker. He favoured that particular brand.

I broke up with her soon afterwards. I don’t think two incidents were related but….

Maybe they just hoped to see your face light up when you opened it?

Cmon people, that deserves a little more love.
😃

I can’t help thinking I’m not the only one who really really wants one of those MAMOD steam things and can’t understand why they would EVER be a crap present!!

I asked for one for Xmas inn the 70s, got one and still have it in the original box sat next to my bed. It was a bit rubbish, tbh!

10 years old, really wanted a keyboard (played piano), had a present wrapped up that I was sure was one… Unwrapped it to find, a briefcase. Yes I started secondary school as briefcase ****. Still, toughened me up!

I train Wing Chun and Escrima to a reasonably obsessive level. The school I’m at takes it pretty seriously.

Last year my brother bought me some nunchucks – not so bad, but there was also one of these:

No kidding, if I wore that to the school I’d have got lamped.

All I said was ‘That’s insulting’ and put it back in the bag.

He hasn’t spoken to me since…

I’ve just opened up my stocking to find……. I **** you not……. a tub of gravy granules

Storm trooper whiskey glass and Darth Vader decanter.

I don’t like star wars, don’t own a side board or drink/entertain enough to keep it filled.

I also have some proper nice crystal glasses I love to drink from.

10 years old, really wanted a keyboard (played piano), had a present wrapped up that I was sure was one… Unwrapped it to find, a briefcase. Yes I started secondary school as briefcase ****. Still, toughened me up!

Briefcase ******!

That t-shirt is brilliant!

Can I add chocolate orange to the list of shit presents…?

I’ll happily swap a tub of gravy granules for it

‘Kin gravy granules

Before the kids arrived today the wife warned me to look and act grateful if the kids had got me a present.

Daughter got me an Alexa talking thingy for the house. I have been partially deaf in my right ear for about 10 years … and for some unknown reason have lost significant hearing suddenly in the left eat about 3 weeks ago; the last thing I wanted/needed was something I got to listen to in the house! I find I am saying “what” every 2 minutes now already!!

The boy got me a £50 gift voucher!
I don`t agree with giving money, or vouchers … case of giving presents for the sake of it – and even worse in case of cash or voucher, that they cant even be bothered to buy it themselves!!

Apparently I spoiled the day with my response.