Spent too much of my last couple of weeks in the joint gateways to hell that are Gatwick and Heathrow. How do we as a nation tolerate the third rate attitude that means we are leaving Europe, ditching the rational that is Schengen. Who chooses to spend their lives queueing rather then moving freely? Have the English given up the will to live? And why do the stupid **** who voted for Brexit not **** right off to Russia which is clearly where they’d rather be.

And why do the stupid **** who voted for Brexit not **** right off to Russia which is clearly where they’d rather be.

What colour are Russian Passports?

What colour are Russian passports

Blue

Needs MOAR CAPs and lack of coherent argument to actually make sense.

Be honest, we still have running water, democracy and throw away almost as much food as we eat despite the obesity epidemic.

Having to queue at an airport to get on a plane to travel thousands of miles burning tons of fuel for non essential reasons, definitely a first world problem.

Having spent a while in Indonesia watching people live in gutters, fish from the rivers they shit in and choke on pollution getting to Gatwick can’t be that bad.

Completely illogical security procedures. Pointless and often useless tech in that process.

And yes a queue is not the end of the world but when we could be moving freely it is a pointless waste of time.

Errrm I’d hardly say the “security procedures” were illogical. I think if we were all just allowed to pile on various planes it might get a bit bomby at times.

Oh and about the democracy that we apparently have. The corrupt and venal Brexiteers haven’t exactly been becons of democracy in practice or principle. The promotion of irrational thought and behaviour through deceit and obfuscation is hardly conducive to a well functioning society.

Mebbiieeess we could get a floptop blond haired gammon faced buffoon to oppose another runway at Heathrow, get him to lay down in front of a bulldozer or two.

That’ll fix the queues.

Broadly airport security functions as a theatre. If I have cleared security in one airport there is no logic to the requirement for me to clear again in transit.

Similarly if the passport scanners at the gate can “see” my kids then the poor implementation of scanners which limits there use to adults at border security merely inconveniences and slows what could be a simple process.

ditching the rational that is Schengen

We’re not in Schengen.

Moronic behaviour and slooow security procedures are nothing new at airports. Not sure how Brexit (I hate myself for typing that word) related.

We seem to have developed a national strategy for government titled ‘cackling manically into the abyss’.

It’s not all bad though. I’m looking forward to trying the British wines in Weatherspoons to wash down my powdered egg

I just checked, the UK is not part of Schengen, which surprised me as I thought it was.

In any case, it’s a huge shame. When i travel from here elsewhere in Europe, it’s a flawless process that does not involve me having to use a passport. I can walk past the crowds of package holiday tourists heading back to the UK and having to queue and wonder what the hell the UK is doing wrong.

Completely illogical security procedures. Pointless and often useless tech in that process.

And yes a queue is not the end of the world but when we could be moving freely it is a pointless waste of time.

Biggest problem is people who don’t know what to do at security. I can have my shoes off, pockets are always empty, laptop & table it hand before I get to the scanners and back in the bag as I walk to the lounge after.

If you are travelling this week then it’s peak holiday season so less regular travellers and more people trying to fit a weeks worth of clothes in hand luggage, probably have their passports in the little blue wallets they hate and don’t know how to move through a queue.

Errrm I’d hardly say the “security procedures” were illogical. I think if we were all just allowed to pile on various planes it might get a bit bomby at times.

I think the point is the security procedures have little to do with that.

Every airport seems different (even terminals) … what one airport/terminal tells you to put in a separate tray another tells you to put it back.  My clear bag doesn’t get more than 5% full… small toothpaste and small shaving cream then I’m told it must be in one of THEIR bags as opposed to a different same sized bag from a different airport.

Passport signage is actually incorrect and contradictory in several terminals.  (LHR T2 and T5 have EU passports and the BIG sign that directs everyone doesn’t mention EEA passports)

Instructions are contradictory… I was forced to leave my then 6yr old in the queue because I was directed to use the electronic passport gates whilst he was told to go through the manual check.

Then there is always someone wearing 15kg of jewellery and asking for every bit they take off… I’d think it’s obvious but clearly many don’t so why should everyone else wait and potentially miss a flight … why not have big signs and refuse anyone wearing jewellery and send them to the back??

Several times I’ve been refused entry to security because of my destination and had to go back.  

The thing is this is the process… they issue boarding cards, I know it will be refused at the scanner BUT if you go directly to the desk they won’t process it UNTIL you’ve been refused by the scanner… and all it say’s is to see a staff member… it doesn’t tell you where to go.

Then .. you queue and it’s either T2 or T5 that have exactly 3 destinations (Moscow, St Petersburg and Kiev) that refuse the boarding card and direct you to the staff (I know to go to the desk but I still have to go to the scanner and get refused before ) .. then I get to the desk and the person manning the desk can’t read cyrillic! (really what’s the point?)

Going back to the bomby thing…. this isn’t a queue at Greg’s it’s meant to be immigration and security. 

FFS… either do it properly and consistently (or don’t).

Having spent a while in Indonesia watching people live in gutters, fish from the rivers they shit in and choke on pollution getting to Gatwick can’t be that bad.

yep getting to gatwick is pretty grim

I didn’t know that the measure of a first world nation is the length of queue of holidaymakers heading to majorca in the school holidays.

Also, if you think security and immigration is bad at Gatwick then I suggest you don’t visit Newark or any other airport in the US.

Gatwicks a cake walk.

Try port Harcourt if you dislike queues. They just do ramies

Likewise Turkmenistan. 1 person door and the “queue” is 30 wide and 15 deep. Looked like a boxing match

and the person manning the desk can’t read cyrillic!

Along with 99.5% of the UK population…

I spent a while commuting to Moscow, I know which airport I prefer, and it’s not Sheremetyova!

Re: inexperienced travellers – they are all out at this time of year, I just adopt a calm serenity and pick the queue that has the least muppets in it.

I was forced to leave my then 6yr old in the queue because I was directed to use the electronic passport gates whilst he was told to go through the manual check.

They shouldn’t have done that, unless it was the manual check next to the electronic gates – in which case I can sort of understand it.

then I suggest you don’t visit Newark

Just run from the gate to immigration, you might keep the wait below 45 minutes then.

Try port Harcourt if you dislike queues.

Never had a problem with queues at PH. Being shaken down for bribes, maybe. Avoiding mozzies in the so-called Business Lounge, for sure. (Best memory is of a super-hot babe in military dress carrying a large gun, but maybe that says more about me)

Similarly if the passport scanners at the gate can “see” my kids then the poor implementation of scanners which limits there use to adults at border security merely inconveniences and slows what could be a simple process.

Trouble is that kids’ passports are valid for 5 years and the biometric data stuff that the facial scanners use can change quite a lot in that time. Although i do remember reading about a trial for older children.

Op only mentions England. Do the other 3 nations escape the vitriol?

Do the other 3 nations escape the vitriol?

Do they have international airports? 😉

But seriously, its not that bad, just that the country’s leadership is so lost that it has permeated down. All the border stuff can basically be blamed on Our Theresa of May, and the sterling job that she’s been doing for the last 8 years.

Biggest problem is people who don’t know what to do at security.

Definately. I worked at HMP Frankland & It was second nature to virtually strip off getting in there so the airport was easy peasy!

Definately. I worked at HMP Frankland & It was second nature to virtually strip off getting in there so the airport was easy peasy!

To a point. In life, I’ve generally found that it is best to seek some kind of affirmation before beginning to remove items of clothing.

Go through a lot of airports around the world and was just in T2 Heathrow a week or so ago, thought it was OK.

On landing I must have gone through the scanners and picked my luggage up within 25 minutes, coming back I found it all reasonably simple, queues tend to move efficiently when people heed the security advice prior to reaching the security checkpoints.

Britain, or England in this case, is not a 3rd world country, you only need to visit an actual 3rd world country to realise that.

Anyone who thinks the UK is Third World really needs to get out more.

Last time I looked passport control and security are 2 separate things.

I fly in and out of Schiphol a lot and last time I looked, there was a lot of European’s queuing with me at security.

Also, there is a lot of the World outside of the Schengen area.

OP – If you are going to rant at least get some facts straight.

To the OP I suggest that rather than blaming Brexit, you concentrate more on not boring everyone with your first world issues of travelling around the world and angrily writing click bait titles whilst you stand in a queue. There have been queues in airports for as long as they have existed, it has got progressively worse since people decided blowing up planes was the thing to do. Personally Id rather queue then get blown up. It is what it is, just accept it and move on. Although I will agree with points mentioned above of why it takes some people so long to put stuff in a tray at security.

“England a third world hell hole” . Personally I have never been to a third world country but I’m pretty sure it is not similar to the UK of now.

Bit ironic that often the security staff are provided by the same firms who are also running mercenary private military contracts overseas, which no doubt leads to radicalization and terrorism, not to mention the mass migration of refugees escaping conflict, which was a big factor in Brexshit.

A queue at an airport?

Never go to O’Hare or Dulles then. You’d spontaneously combust in a maelstrom of rage.

….ever go to O’Hare or Dulles then. You’d spontaneously combust in a maelstrom of rage.

….and god help him when he has to deal with the TSA, even people from the 3rd world don’t want that hassle.

Biggest problem is people who don’t know what to do at security. I can have my shoes off, pockets are always empty, laptop & table it hand before I get to the scanners and back in the bag as I walk to the lounge after.

Can we have a queue for “People who know what they are doing” at security. You get 20 secs to be ready for the scanners, or you have to leave the line up.

Personally Id rather queue then get blown up.

You’d join a queue in order to be blown up? You’re either a beach ball or a mad man.

I commuted through Heathrow T2 for a few months.  It was fantastic.  I could often be on the M4 within 15 mins of the plane landing.

Biggest problem is people who don’t know what to do at security. I can have my shoes off, pockets are always empty, laptop & table it hand before I get to the scanners and back in the bag as I walk to the lounge after.

The scanners always pick up my plates & screws in my shoulder.   My biggest first world problem at airports is therefore remembering not to wear socks with holes in.

Be honest, we still have running water, democracy and throw away almost as much food as we eat despite the obesity epidemic.

Im not sure about the democracy bit.

We have an unelected prime minister, party in power because of a bribe and and a head of state in power because of an accident of birth. Sounds more like a banana republic

😂😂😂

We have an unelected prime minister, party in power because of a bribe and and a head of state in power because of an accident of birth. Sounds more like a banana republic

PM leads the largest party with support, MP’s have the option of a vote of no confidence. Our head of state is purely a ceremonial position which avoids the even more complex idea of having a head of state who is elected to run the country in a different direction to the rest of the elected representatives.