- Depression and alcohol
Please go to see your doctor and get some help.
You say that your wife is great and you have a daughter – you must always remember this – in order not to do something drastic and to sort your drinking out.
I’ve never used alcohol to escape – it’s always been a bit of a ‘rule’ of mine, but I did go through a phase of excessive social drinking that got me into mild trouble at work. The reason I mention this is although I would never describe my drinking as problematic, I still used to get absolutely toe-curling depressed and panicky after a big session. I would only regain perspective after a further night’s sleep. For me that was proof positive that alcohol’s depressive effects cannot be ignored.
You must remove this bar to rational thought before you make any decisions.
Your relationship with your daughter is unlikely to be permanently damaged. You say she is a teenager – you’ll probably find she’s a lot more clued up than you think, and will respond to an honest apology and a bit of insight into what’s happening. Most importantly, she’ll probably be glad to hear that you acknowledge what is happening and that you intend to do something about it.
Good luck.Posted 5 years agofelixthecatMember
i was in the same boat about a year ago.your drinking might not be as big a problem as you think.are you drinking on your own at home?that’s not good.don’t chuck it away, your right that’s a bit dramatic, i moved mine out, haven’t missed it, now i drink socially and in moderation and i started running as well as biking, that really keeps the wolf from the door when i start to feel grumpy, the arguments at home still occur but now i walk away. hope this helps. you’re not on your own dude.Posted 5 years agodeviantMember
Pull yourself together and stop drinking, jesus wept what is this forum coming to?…whingeing middle class i drink too much i’m depressed track world…
….tell your daughter to get a grip too, you burnt some magazines….if this is the end of the world for her then she’s going to get a shock when she leaves the safety blanket of school behind her.Posted 5 years agouser-removedMember
Lots of sensible advice here. Please, please don’t sweat it too much about the magazines – that struck a chord immediately. In 1988, when I was 15, I had a massive collection of original Marvel comics. To be plain, I was a nerd. I scoured 2nd hand shops, jumble sales and garage sales (I lived in Aberdeen and loads of American ex-pats’ kids brought their comics with them and couldn’t be bothered taking them home when they went back to the States).
As a result, I had thousands of Marvel comics – some worth serious money these days. Over and beyond that, they were important insomuchas they were an extension of my personality. I identified strongly with Iron Fist, Wolverine, Odin and all the rest. The organisation of these rare comics also filled the probably fairly autistic need in me to create order out of chaos (I’m cool as flip these days).
So, over the course of maybe six months, I began to catalogue the comics and insert them into archival plastic sleeves – I was very aware of their value, and simultaneously excited by their contents. My mum got sick of the fact that she couldn’t hoover in my room and told me she would bin the lot if I didn’t pick them up and get rid of them.
One day, I got home from school and discovered she had made good on her threats – they’d all gone in the back of the bin lorry.
At that moment, I knew I’d never forgive her. But I did. We get on pretty well. They were just comics.
I hope this has been as cathartic for you as it was for me.
😮Posted 5 years agorapidman123Member
Hi Drunkenidiot, just thought I’d ask how things are going? I hope things are better for you and talking to your doctor has helped? As many others are, I currently am suffering myself and take tablets everyday which really have helped, I have also spoke to a counsellor which has also really helped. I lost my father to depression 2 and a half years ago and wanted to be sure I did not go down that route so took help offered.
My advice would be to take any help you can and as everyone says it will get better but take it one step at a time.
RegardsPosted 5 years agodrunkenidiotMember
Hi, I’m just checking in. Really touched by the concern and by the stories here. Many many thanks to everyone who’s made helpful posts here. It has been a big support in a very dark time.
I see the psychiatrist next week. I expect I’ll be prescribed some meds.
Family life is getting back to normal. Daughter suddenly gave me a Twix and then ran off. She’s a sullen teenager, but she knows I have a weakness for Twix. Her way of saying sorry for her part in the row. I was very touched.
Christmas party season is coming, and there’s a big family birthday to be got through this weekend. But I have no interest in drinking. I can’t trust myself to drink responsibly. I really don’t want to be drunk and risk putting my loved ones through such a fuss again. Last weekend’s episode was the most extreme, but not the first time I’ve kicked off like that. I hope it’s the last.
Social events may feel strange, but I will take them as they come. I was worried about how I’d be perceived if I refused drinks. But I decided that I might as well be honest with people I’m close to and who I trust. And why care about the rest of them think?
Maybe one day I’ll have another beer (mid-ride pint!) but I’ll leave that for the future. No interest in it right now. Take each day as it comes.
I was at a concert on Monday night. Didn’t really feel up to it, or that I deserved it. But went anyway as I’d been looking forward to it for ages, and may not get another chance to see them. There was a lot of beer being drunk there. I felt awkward standing there without a drink. Then I realised I’d feel awkward standing there with a drink. And then pretty soon I would be awkward. So I just stood at the back and enjoyed the show.
I’m trying to live in the present. Naval-gazing will just make me disappear up my own arse. But I’ve been getting insights like that one above. Sometimes scary, sometimes exciting. It’s like something’s changed inside my head.
The first time I was diagnosed with the depression, I was told I was dysthemic. This is an expensive way of saying I’m a “glass half empty” type. Fair enough. But I realise for a long, long time I’ve been angry about… well, almost everything. I normally repress it – I was raised “seen and not heard”, stiff upper lip and all that – and then it all comes bursting out in a bad way. I’m very very frustrated about my job for example, but at least I have one. and it’s something I can work towards changing. I know I have to learn to accept stuff I can’t change, and change stuff that I can. I’ve ordered a couple of books about this.
Epic post, sorry. I’ll shut up now and get ready for bed, I feel so tired all the time. I suspect there is a long hard road ahead of me, but I think I’m ready to start walking.
TL/DR: sober, sorry, stressed, starting treatment soon.Posted 5 years agoconkerMember
As my previous post, glad to hear things are a bit brighter for you.Posted 5 years ago
I’ve just had a turn the corner moment too.
Basicly my wife of 13 years and who i love dearly, had an affair with someone I know and we work at the same company, has ended the marrige.Unable to confide in friends who we both share on a whole or my family I was willing to forgive her and didnt want bias opinion of her (and not been the best husband over last few years due to work stress)
Its strange but she was living with a friend for a while and not giving me an answer either way, but now its definetive i feel a little better.
I will have to find a new job, as i can forgive her, but have nothing but blinding rage towards him,and our paths could cross.
Bit scared of been lonley,after so long.especialy as im off work through depression,and on meds.more long rides methinks.
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