• This topic has 156 replies, 74 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Keva.
Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 157 total)
  • Dating girls, who should pay?
  • hora
    Member

    Hora – If this is all true, how come you’ve never ever got any money by the time you get to the pub? Surely you can’t spend it ALL on new frames?

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Was she a prostitute?

    To be honest, it’d have cost him a damn site less if he’d gone down that road, and was getting serviced by a high class escort every night.

    All of us found it absolutely unfathomable how the hell he put up with her. There is only really one conceivable answer, but I’m not going down to speculate on that here, as I’ve only just returned after a visit from the ban hammer πŸ˜‰

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    Junkyard – lazarus

    DP

    In that case you should be splitting the cost three ways

    wrecker
    Member

    In that case you should be splitting the cost three ways

    πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    Never heard it called that.

    mudshark
    Member

    There is only really one conceivable answer, but I’m not going down to speculate on that here, as I’ve only just returned after a visit from the ban hammer

    Some sort of love thing?

    Premier Icon P-Jay
    Subscriber

    To say we live in an equal society is probably naΓ―ve – but tradition says that the Man should pay, it’s meant to prove that we’re good providers and they’re dating a Man who can give them a good lifestyle once you’re married and they no longer need to work – HOW OLD FASHIONED IS THAT! I’m sure that most Women these days would consider that attitude pretty sexist – but some don’t mind the ‘paying bit’ bit πŸ˜‰

    My opinion these days – whoever asks who out on the first date pays – you asked after all, once the first date is over though – is should be a ‘relaxed split’ meaning you don’t get the calculator out after a meal to work out your share because you didn’t have desert – but I wouldn’t be too impressed if they sat their like butter didn’t melt every time the bill turns up because they’re a girl – and as for the idea of how much you spend equating to ‘how far’ you get later on? There’s a name for people who provide sexual favours for money.

    Saying all that, I only ever went on 1 date with my wife, and I paid – because I asked her out, until we lived together I generally paid for takeaways and film rents and stuff, because I was working and she was a student – now we’re married and we split everything at home, but it’s slightly canted in her favour as I earn more.

    Premier Icon cookeaa
    Subscriber

    “Vanilla Shake” is now my new favourite euphemism…

    OP, spring for the Hotel unless you’re really just looking to crash a relationship your not all that into. Women love a fella who’ll splash the cash, right up until the point where your finances become joint and you’re being generous with money that’s 50% Hers

    “Generosity” is apparently a quality when wooing, You never here women saying “I really love how frugal my Boyfriend is”…

    …newish GF…

    Sounds like some of the glitter has fallen off already TBH…

    Junkyard
    Member

    OH very good NW

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    “Generosity” is apparently a quality when wooing,

    Yes, but it’s down to expectations again. There’s a world of difference between buying someone a gift and being told to buy one.

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    Cougar – Moderator
    Who pays should be whoever wants to.

    This. We have separate bank accounts because we both believe that whats left after our mutual financial committments is our own, so she doesn’t lose money to bike stuff and I don’t lose money to tat.

    Because she is part time 15hrs a week and earns a fraction of my salary, I insist on paying for meals out & stuff, although she’ll get my birthday meal out kinda thing. She does what she can with sometimes admirable committment – pays her own phone bill, treats & entry fees for the kids days out without asking that kind of thing, she once saved Β£50 a month for two years to get me a Ti frame for my 40th (I felt quite guilty).

    Eject eject!

    It’s not about the money, equality, “rules” or tradition. By all means buy a girl dinner-out somewhere classy and show her she’s worth it, but…

    Do you want to get emotionally involved with someone you expects you to do things she should be prepared to do herself? And gets in strop when you challenge her expectations.

    Premier Icon HansRey
    Subscriber

    [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F4qzPbcFiA[/video]

    aracer
    Member

    P-Jay wrote:

    There’s a name for people who provide sexual favours for money.

    Wife?

    hora
    Member

    she once saved Β£50 a month for two years to get me a Ti frame for my 40th (I felt quite guilty).

    Can we just pause the thread there. Stop and admire this woman. Forget that its a bike part, this act shows this ladies metal. I salute you for having landed such a lady.

    deviant
    Member

    Separate accounts here too, for no other reason than we both have expensive hobbies and the feeling that you’re taking from someone else’s money to fund yours doesn’t feel right.
    Mrs Deviant has horses that cost more than the mortgage each month, my motorbikes and bicycles aren’t that expensive but aren’t cheap either…. amongst our friends joint accounts seem to work for those with children and those who sit in front of the TV every night.

    Re. The original question, yes it is weird that in these days of equality a startling number of women expect to be treated to everything as they float through life!
    If I invite the other half out on a date then I’ll pay, if she takes me out she’ll pay and if it’s a joint decision like a holiday we’ll split it…it works for us and seems fair.

    Some of my friends have partners who earn similar amounts to them but the woman expects to be taken on holiday, never gets a round in, never pays for dinner etc etc….I couldn’t do that, I hate freeloaders….but if it works for them then I suppose that’s all that matters.
    However what is funny is getting us all out on a lads night and hearing them moan about it when they’re safely away from the girlfriend…is it an act of defiance in front of their mates or are they so afraid of being single that they’ll turn into a doormat rather than sort out their dysfunctional relationship?

    I know I’ll have to fund virtually everything for a while if we breed but i accept that and plans are in place to move somewhere with land so the horse can be at home and not kept on livery which is Mrs Deviant’s main outgoing.

    allthegear
    Member

    emsz – you’re my hero and I shall make a point of following your relationship advice forever πŸ™‚

    Rachel

    rebel12
    Member

    Hmm need to chat to her about this as her comment at the time was along the lines of ‘if you can’t afford to keep a lady’. Yep I earn more than her and I want to treat her now and again and generally pay a little more. But I don’t want to feel like a mug either and it would be nice if she sometimes offered to pay. Not providing photos but yes she is hot and yes she’s very generous in other ways ;). Still, if she’s totally closed to the idea then it’s auf wiedersehn I’d say.

    Any ladies please feel free to add your thoughts as would be very useful to hear it from the other side of the fence.

    emsz
    Member

    You know it!!

    It’s not like every single one of my relationships has ended in utter disaster and mounds of Kleenex and empty Ben and jerrys cartons. Oh no, wait…

    Personally I think it’s a plot

    crankboy
    Member

    Happily hooked up for ten years joint bank account merged all my assets with Crankygirls she still has a current account in her name we pay I hope all expenses from the joint stuff but I suspect she also gets stuff that should be joint from her account which is supposed only to cover her needs as a student.
    So I can’t really recall the new dating rules that well , I think we broadly split everything unless I wanted to do something stupidly extravagant and beyond her budget in which case I paid .

    Realistically if you cant talk about this and work it out are you right for each other?
    I do recall a girl who asked me out to a particular restaurant when I was on the dole and she was working then at the end of the meal made it clear she expected me to pay given that was nearly 30 years ago it shows how annoyed I was by that stunt.

    Bottom line how other couples manage finances is only a guide as to what is possible you need to work out what is good for you . You don’t want to feel used or ripped off but on the other hand do you want to push her/him into expenses she/he can’t afford and so does not enjoy or make them feel like they are using you. Do you want to forgo a romantic weekend in Paris cos your partner can’t afford it and you are too tight to pay?

    allthegear
    Member

    I can’t imagine saying that to anyone, rebel12 – who want’s to be “kept” for goodness sake???

    Rachel

    Mister P
    Member

    emsz – Member

    It’s not like every single one of my relationships has ended in utter disaster and mounds of Kleenex

    Sounds very similar to mine but probably not quite the same…

    Junkyard
    Member

    EDIT: Applauds

    or keep someone

    Odd attitude tbh I am now going with run away

    allthegear

    me!

    not going to happen though… back to work… πŸ™

    It all depends on your views regarding traditional gender models, some blokes want a wifey type that does as they’re told, keeps house and is in turn kept, it works well for a lot of people. Others prefer the idea of two independent, equal people that share a life together but are still capable of supporting themselves both financially and emotionally.

    I know what I prefer, even if at times I browse the patio catalogs…

    crankboy
    Member

    ‘if you can’t afford to keep a lady’.
    RUN AWAY NOW get a real woman to sped time with, not a “lady” who thinks she is an expensive hobby for you to spend your money on .

    +1

    and real ladies would never call them self a “lady”…

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    It’s not like every single one of my relationships has ended in utter disaster and mounds of Kleenex and empty Ben and jerrys cartons. Oh no, wait…

    Emsz – a lot of blokes relationships both begin and end with mounds of Kleenex. Some people still go misty eyed about probably the most significant relationships of their life – that fondly remembered bumper Razzle Readers Wives Special, found in the bushes by the old electricity substation. I’m welling up here πŸ˜₯

    Premier Icon lunge
    Subscriber

    This. We do both contribute a chunk to a joint account, from which mortgage, bills etc are taken, but we still have our own accounts.

    This is my arrangement and it seems to work well. I have money for shoes, she has money for sports gear…hang on, that’s not right it is…

    Re. the OP, first date I would say the guy offers to pay but doesn’t get too upset if she wants to split the bill. After that it is split bills with an understanding that occasionally if you asked her out/took her away somewhere you may end up footing the whole lot.

    gogg
    Member

    If you’re paying, it’s not a “date”.

    πŸ˜‰

    jools182
    Member

    creamegg – Member
    depends how fit she is

    weeksy – Member
    Depends what she lets you do in return I guess.

    Amount spent should be proportional to how dirty she is.

    +1

    allthegear
    Member

    Don’t get me wrong; it’s **really bloody nice** to be taken out for a lovely meal and the date pick up the tab. I just couldn’t imagine it being an “expectation”.

    Oh – and I don’t like McDonalds. Maybe where this is where I’m going wrong at the moment????

    Hang on a sec – I took the ex-gf to Bruges for the weekend recently, paid for motorbike jacket for her, petrol, ferry, hotel etc etc. I feel short changed!!!!

    Rachel

    mudshark
    Member

    Classy girls prefer Nandos.

    Don’t get me wrong; it’s **really bloody nice** to be taken out for a lovely meal and the date pick up the tab. I just couldn’t imagine it being an “expectation”.

    If the tab was picked up, would it make you more accepting of potential advances later in the evening?

    I should add, I’m happily in a relationship (and we tend to split the bill). I just want to know if it’s where I was going wrong during my dating days. πŸ™‚

    hora
    Member

    Off on a slight tangent: If I was single again I’d arrange a lunchtime meet first- take the lady for Sushi. If it was in the evening I’d probably go Lebanese or Sushi still. If the girl had a veracious apettite for large glasses of wine I guess I’d realise quickly she aint for me.

    A meal costs **** all in the grandscheme of things. Its when you add in glasses of wine onto the bill that it gets silly. Any girl that loves a fair few glasses and taken out on a fairly regular basis wont look pretty anyway. Same with a bloke who loves his pints out on a regular basis.

    Why not do a sly trade off? She drives you to a beautiful country pub, you have a few and she drives you back?

    A relationship isn’t all equals or ‘she gives me great head in return’. You can go out for a meal cost-effectively (some great Korean places in Manchester- one doesn’t sell alcohol) for instance near me.

    Also- why eat out? Cook for her and watch a chickflick.

    her comment at the time was along the lines of ‘if you can’t afford to keep a lady’

    Run fast, run far..

    cheekyboy
    Member

    I really couldn’t GAS who pays, if we are going out I will take enough to cover us both, I know if I m short at the end of the month She will bail me out.

    However the one thing that does really grip my shitt !

    “Can I have a packet of crisps”

    “Only if you eat 5 pickled eggs”

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    Picnics FTW.

    emsz
    Member

    Hate Nandos

    Oh no, hang on…

    Dates and paying is pretty easy, if I’m asking someone on a date, I’d expect to pick up the bill, and even if they offered, I’d be all ” your money’s no good”

    2nd date, if they didnt come out with something along the lines of ” you paid last time, at least lets go halves” then there pretty much wouldn’t be a 3rd date.

    If I was single again I’d arrange a lunchtime meet first- take the lady for Sushi. If it was in the evening I’d probably go Lebanese or Sushi still.

    I’d be screwed. Our local Lebanese restaurant has just shut and the sushi place has been done for food poisoning. Again. πŸ™

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 157 total)

The topic ‘Dating girls, who should pay?’ is closed to new replies.