Dating – am I playing with fire?

Seriously nobody has asked for pics?
But honestly don’t shag your colleagues unless you really want to find another job.

Life goes on. I know folk that have lost partners. There is one I should have pursued with hindsight. And others that were just right for each other at the right time.

**** the gossipers and relatives. They can get right up themselves if they think it’s,” too soon” x” wouldn’t approve” etc.

Seal the deal and post back. Nudes minimum stealth video ideally you know 😉

Don’t dip your pen in the company ink.

Dammit, I was hoping that was an OP update

andy4d – Member
Has she got massive….sorry I won’t go there. Just see how the night goes. Chat/listen and be a friend. What will be will be. We are all adults and it’s not for others to judge

This – play it by ear fella 🙂

Responsibility and Decorum. On at least one level- if it goes tits up and she subsequently has a breakdown at work. You’ll look like a great bloke wont you.

It is possible to support someone and be friends. Why do most blokes think with their dicks? This is coming from me and I’d still use my head and look after her. Not myself.

Maybe she just wants a FWB. Can you handle that?

hora
if it goes tits up

Internet high 5 sire

Well I was a good boy to the end. A couple of drinks, a chat, a turned down offer of a chinese and I went home.

Shes totally DTF though…

Better to let that one go. Never play where your mortgage/income depends on. A nasty breakup and seeing each other daily wouldn’t be fun

Grant earlier tonight

Had to google DTF 🙂

I think as you get older you just don’t pussy about so much and she’s in a strange place.

Grant_Richards – Member
…Shes totally DTF though…

If that’s your actual name, I hope she’s not googling you right now…

Also had to goodle DTF – a new acronym will now be inserted innapropriately into corporate blah blah meetings.

Well you couldn’t have DFS as you’d just have people interested in sofas 8)

DTF = davidtaylforth??

Makes you think.

Ok… So if she is an adult, and knows what she wants, and you play by the “campground rule”, doesn’t she get to take these decisions? Isn’t it a bit condescending and even slightly sexist to be overprotective?

Having said which, depends on how big your workplace is, and the risk of anything making life there tricky in the future. But that sounds like something which you could have an honest discussion about with her, if you wanted to.

what he said

the issues are
1. IS she vulnerable re the death or is she just “enjoying a new lease of life”- marriage may not have been happy etc

2. What are the work implications if it goes all wrong?

Makes you think. do a little sick into your mouth

Slightly sexist?she’s on bearevement leave from work when a colleague decides to crack on. On a very basic level how would you see this? The fact that she’s still off work suggests it wasn’t that long ago or she’s told work that she is still struggling.

Creepy?

Gooseberry

Wait, you said gooseberry, I thought you meant raspberry!
As you were. 😉

People seem to be excluding the possibility that she has a say in this.

Reverse the sexes and think about it.

Have we checked that there isn’t a parallel thread running on this on Mumsnet? 😕

Have we checked that there isn’t a parallel thread running on this on Mumsnet?

Where “going for a Chinese” is akin to Centreparcs?

YOLO?

Sorry.

I once dated a widow, a good 18 months after his untimely accidental death. I didn’t know him but a few good fiends did, these friends set me up with her.

I only visited her house a couple of times. But when I did it creeped me out a little. There were photographs of him everywhere – a small shrine in the hall with candles etc.

He was spoken about every day by her and her friends – all her family still lived back in Asia but when they spoke on Skype I’d hear his name mentioned.

If there was a spark between us I think I’d have tried to stick it out a little longer than the few dates we had. But it was just a bit too much for me.

On the one hand she could be ready to move on in which case you’ve just got the usual pitfalls of dating/sleeping with someone you work with to worry about.
On the other hand she might think she’s ready to move, then (after you’ve slept together) realises she isn’t then you’ve got the usual pitfalls of dating/sleeping with someone you work with x100
I’d certainly be taking things extra slowly for a while…

MAybe she’s just wanting to get laid…. women have desires too.

People seem to be excluding the possibility that she has a say in this.
Reverse the sexes and think about it.

Advice would stand, sexes reversed, sexes the same and any various modern inclusive combinations. Between the berieved, work colleague, still on sick leave bits I’d be going as a friend to have a drink and a chat. Nothing more and have a good line sorted for a polite decline just in case.

weeksy – Member

MAybe she’s just wanting to get laid…. women have desires too.

I agree, but I don’t think I could cope with the potential emotional fallout after the act, especially as it seems so soon after the death.

No updates from OP?
Wonder how it went?

Nothing more and have a good line sorted

I don’t think drugs are the answer.

You could have worked harder on your alias, too.

bigyinn – Member

No updates from OP?
Wonder how it went? Back a page

Pay attention at the back.

I’ve reined it in. She’s been off since Jan and says she won’t be returning. I weighed up the pros and cons and without knowing her expectations decided to do not a lot. I’m not interested in a relationship I don’t think, partly due to her 3 young kids. So I think that’s that.

She’s incessantly messaging me at all hours. Maybe she just wants a root. But without knowing, I’m doing nothing.

Those seem good reasons to step back. But good you went out with her once.

You are both grown ups, you can find a diplomatic way to ask – you can be a friend with benefits ?

She’s incessantly messaging me at all hours.

you can be a friend with benefits ?

I’m not sure these things are compatible tbh