Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 70 total)
  • Criminal with a wood burner!
  • giantalkali
    Free Member

    The council just cut down several very large trees about 20meters from my mate’s garden. They didn’t take all of the wood away this afternoon. I’ve spent half an hour stuffing wood over my mate’s fence. Does anybody know the score here? How much of a crim is he?

    At least if I end up in jail I’ll look like Geoff Capes, each bloody log was 5′ long and the fence 7′ tall.

    CountZero
    Full Member

    If you don’t tell I won’t…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    You could always burn the evidence… 😉

    sweepy
    Free Member

    I believe the Highland sport ‘tossing the caber’ was originally for getting stolen firewood over deer fences

    jambourgie
    Free Member

    How much of a crim is he?

    Well, none. He can’t be blamed if some pikey starts throwing stolen goods over his fence…

    😉

    kayak23
    Full Member

    How much of a crim is he?

    I believe he may be guilty of treeson.

    DrP
    Full Member

    Only if special branch get involved..

    DrP

    crankboy
    Free Member

    He could have just asked for a few quid the crew would probably chopped the timbers to suitable lengths for him and carried them to where ever he plans to store them while they season.

    garage-dweller
    Full Member

    I think you will be Oak K.

    CountZero
    Full Member

    This sort of behaviour goes against the grain…

    Onzadog
    Free Member

    These puns are terrible, I wish you lot would leaf it out.

    mrlebowski
    Full Member

    The council are very good at getting to the root of things like this..

    Rich_s
    Full Member

    Is it rustling? Or were the leaves all gone?

    giantalkali
    Free Member

    I think I might be for the birch.

    fooman
    Free Member

    Touch wood he’ll be ok.

    fisha
    Free Member

    I hope he’s planked the wood somewhere it can’t be found.

    giantalkali
    Free Member

    I hope the stolen gwoods dont get seize-oned

    giantalkali
    Free Member

    I think there’s a criminal at larch

    giantalkali
    Free Member

    If the fuzz come knocking I’ll tell them they’re barking up the wrong tree.

    StefMcDef
    Free Member

    I would bring back the birch for crimes like this.

    Bullet
    Full Member

    Your gonna get the chop…

    lazlowoodbine
    Free Member

    Right! That’s quite enough acorny jokes.

    ski
    Free Member

    As a ex council wood hacker, they will not care a hoot, as mentioned above if you had asked them nicely (tea and cakes) the chances are they would have chopped it into logs for you and placed it for you.

    We used to fill a artic hopper with all our felled wood, our council used to sell it on for a £100 a load or give it away to local wood merchants!

    Bregante
    Full Member

    Right! That’s quite enough acorny jokes.

    Quite right. The o.p is trying to sycamore sensible answer.

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    Well played Bregante 🙂

    giantalkali
    Free Member

    Well, if he shares it with his neighbours he’ll be more poplar.

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    I assume the council were either going to sell the wood on to a merchant to season and then sell, or do it themselves. Do they have any natural fired boilers, etc., in the council’s estates?

    This sort of low level crime makes me sick. A more militant me might be tempted to report it.

    glasgowdan
    Free Member

    How does real crime make you feel if this is enough to make you sick?

    Take a deep breath.

    Nobeerinthefridge
    Free Member

    Makes you sick?…

    Perspective dude.

    Edit, too sloe!

    whitestone
    Free Member

    Is there any resin the council might twig it was you? You’ll be pine-ing for home after doing thyme.

    LeeW
    Full Member

    If anyone does confront him just tell them they’re barking up the wrong tree.

    Hope your mate bought you a beer? I’m sure he Willow you at least that! Maybe more if Yew end up getting the Birch.

    thecaptain
    Free Member

    Puns aside it’s theft just like picking up some bicycles would be. Yeah, its *possible* that you saved them disposing it themselves. You didn’t want to ask though did you.

    Drac
    Full Member

    How does real crime make you feel if this is enough to make you sick?

    Sick or more.

    lotsroad
    Free Member

    Sounds like you’ve gone out on a limb.

    giantalkali
    Free Member

    Now the trees have been cut, my mate has a clearview…

    hammyuk
    Free Member

    If they ask whose got the wood…..
    Tell them “your wife after you leavt for work….”

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    OP is nothing but a tea leaf.

    It’s chestnut right.

    He should be charged with Grand Larcheny

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    Why don’t you ask the council if you can take some or even if they’ll cellulose ones you’ve already thrown over?

    pearlbaz
    Free Member

    I concur…

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    I conker..

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    for avoidance of doubt as some seem to be taking me seriously

    This sort of low level crime makes me sick. A more militant me might be tempted to report it.

    Fish for tea tonight, though….. 😉

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 70 total)

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