My wife’s commuting bike has been neglected. And I mean she’s basically never washed it, just squirted more oil on the chain now and then.

What would be the best way to make it sparkle again? Black crud everywhere, brake pad gunk all over the time, arches, etc. Is there a spray on something that can be scrubbed and hosed off that would genuinely get this oily paste off?

WD40 is quite effective as long as you keep it off braking surfaces. Or MucOff used neat.

lots of muc-off pink stuff on a dry bike and a brush.

muc-off is good.  Screw Fix ‘no nonsense’ degreaser is flipping amazing – just ensure it’s well diluted.  Anything stubborn, Mr Sheen cleans through brake crap from parts/frame !

Lidl have Muc-off cleaning stuff at the mo 2 items for £7.

Morgan Blue bike polish.

Take it to the local jetwash along with Muc Off (if you want to be gentle with it) or Hope Shit Shifter (if you actually want to get all the crap off it).

Then bring it home and it should just be a matter of final cleaning. Muc Off is nowehre near as strong a degreaser as the green Shit Shifter stuff whcih will get rid of all the oil and gunge.

TBH when things get that bad it’s often worth just binning the chain rather than trying to get it sparkling again.

I’ve genuinely thought about binning the bike, such is my “can’t be arsed with this”-edness! Thanks, I’ll try some of the above. I’ve got a 4000psi commercial jet washer, I’ll probably end up blasting it to kingdom come in anger!

If it’s really bad, soaking seized mechs overnight in Nitromors works (even the newer version) – but remember to re lube/grease everything properly if you do

A partial solution is tolerance to muck. Worth cleaning though as a bike being used like that is probably going to crack one day.

Through wet months I try* and clean the chain/cassette etc. weekly (~100 miles) on the commuter, which I think is worth it in terms of limiting shittyness. I also run discs on it which helps and a hose gets rid of the worst

*I pretty definitely don’t manage.

White spirit will cut through it easily.  Not at all convinced by muc off.

TBH when things get that bad it’s often worth just binning the chain rather than trying to get it sparkling again.

Depends a bit on whether the cassette / rings are trashed also. You’re looking at replacements for both along with a new chain if they’re too far gone. If you leave the old chain in situ you might get another xx,0000 miles from the existing combo.

I’ve used a steam cleaner on bikes before btw. Works quite well, but obviously avoid bearings and make sure you don’t do it on your best shag-pile rug. What an awesome word shag-pile is.