How about we use that whip-round to get him Velcro laces instead as he’s obviously not safe to be left unsupervised

Taking your infatuation with Black Sabbath to the next level?

Was the Pokemon too close to a whizzy sharp thing?

Ooooh that’s nasty. Makes me think what a wimp I was whinging about chub-finger!

GWS Mark… While you’re waiting to be seen/rebuilt/assessed for bionic implant, you might want to consider purchasing one of these

I give you the ‘Lager-Mitt’ 🙂

Hey they do them in different colours!

Am I helping? I like to think I’m helping 🙂

Mower/Strimmer incident. Reminds me of the old “bacon slicer” joke 😀

Yer big div, Stoner!

Darryl Beattie incident?

It’s all helping 😉

Sitting down to my first ever taste of hospital food. Surgery been bumped to tomorrow so may now dine like a king-ish

Fortunately Mrs Stoner has dropped by with headphones and 4x spare batteries for the phone, so it’s tms and you lot keeping me company till tomorrow. I think the other chaps in this ward have already died. Moreorless.

Who has 5 phone batteries?!

breadcrumb

It’s got to be wood related

😯

Am I being particularly dense after work, or do the X-rays show a hand and a foot with bits missing?

Don’t tell Stoner. He’s still pissed off about the finger – hasn’t spotted the toe yet.

5x batteries is v handy.

Goat, I’m a div, but I’m not quite div enough to jam both my hand and foot in a chainwheel. Xrays just show 91.7% of my fingers.

Stoner – repeat after everyone…..

I

Am

A

Mucking

Fuppet

What are they going to do – take out the end bone, then sew the skin into a flap over the end of the ‘new’ end bone?

5x batteries is v handy

No… 5 fingers is handy…

actually knowing Mark (stoner) as I do, he’s not really a lager man. So you could while away some of that slow hospital time designing lager-mitt-2 which would be adjustable for Creme De Menthe. Brandy, Absinthe and other beverages of choice,

Obviously any actual modifications would need to be done with hand tools only an under strict supervision.

#stillhelping 🙂

Alan, I think that’s the plan. Whip of the last bit of the index distal phalanx (oooo, get me and my new lexicon) and grab whatever skin is left and sellotape it over the stump.

I can’t bear to see you like this Stoner.

Pixels make everything better.

The wife will be pleased, thanks Jamie. I feel complete again!

Disappointing thread(apart from Jamie’s foteeshop),I was 100% sure it was going to be Land Rover related. 😛

After decades of thinking cleaning / lubing motorcycle chains with the engine running and in gear was a stupid idea, I tried it a few years back and found it made the whole palava so much easier that now I do it all the time.

This thread reminds me of the potential downsides……

Heal quick!

Might see if I can close the wound myself with some superglue.

That’ll sting in the morning! 😯
And may I say it’s really bloody (Ha! See what I did there?) good to see Jamie doing wonderful and amusing things with pixels! 😀

Woah – hold the phone! Jamie’s back!

(Get well soon Stoner)

We have the technology. But with the value of sterling it’s more £60 than £6m

Aye, stuff the missing finger tip, Jamie is back! Please don’t leave us again….

Actually, I don’t think there’s anything missing. Someone’s just left their finger over the lens of the xray machine…

“The search for the man who terrorizes nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow.”

Mate of mine did that when we were 17. But he came from Snodland so had an excuse.

You could always take this opportunity to investigate a new career:

Either way, you’ll save a fortune in manicures.

To be honest, it’s the second x-ray that is a concern.

Ouch!

(You plonker etc. Heal fast!)

I just snorted at Jamie’s pic 😀 *waves*

Clucking hell. I slipped while showering, honest

[Leslie Philips] cock-a-doodle-do [/Leslie Philips]

Welcome to an elusive club that includes my dear brother in law, aka stubby sausage fingers.
Healing vibes

My colleague’s father managed to, unintentionally, shoot two of his fingers off. Nope, I have no idea either

Whip of the last bit of the index distal phalanx (oooo, get me and my new lexicon) and grab whatever skin is left and sellotape it over the stump.

The technical term is ‘terminalisation of stump’.

If it involves very small sutures and the operating microscope it will take a surprisingly long time.

Doing under local so I’m expecting something more agricultural involving a metal file and a stapler.