Went for a ride round Canklow woods on my trusty single speed built from old spares- and the place truly is the holy grail for 50 shades of shiz.

But my trusty Michelin Hot S (RED!!!) 2.2’s shedded those fresh turds like a pair of bosses.

Some may the credibility of these tyres grip, overall performance and poo-shifting skills but I and the fellow riders i was with (one of which is a UK sales promoter for Schwalbe) were impressed when compared to the Nobby Nics they were both running which looked like brown/ginger and black checkerboards.

My Schwalbe mate even confessed they’re missing a tyre with brown-repellent qualities from their line-up.

So, I put forward this tyre to be the best defication-molting tyre of all time!

I bet Schwalbe’s marketing department are thinking up a new name as we write. Poo Poo Hugh? Dungle Dave? Shitty Sheila?

schwalbe turdless toms ™

DogEgg Dilberts

pant potato pete

1) Probably such a hard compound that nothing will stick to them

2) I’m not listening to anyone that uses red tyres

😉

Mr Hanky

I’d like a tyre that the shit *really* sticks to so that the mess is limited.

A tread that flicks the whole turd up into the air and into your face isn’t really ideal, is it?

Personally I am trying understand the benefits of a tyre that easily sheds the stuff (potentially in the upward / faceward direction) over one that keeps hold of it.

Edit – beaten to it by wwaswas

Faecal Frank?

Shitty Sheila Lol lol lol

Log Lover
Faeces Feartie
Turd Terrier (see what I did there..)
Pooch Pooper

and so it goes on..

What tyres for cow poo?

Pronto Pat

I’m crying with laughter here. 😆 my contribution would be faeces Fred or Merde Mike.

edit: beaten to the faeces. … (a sentence I thought I’d never use. … Only on stw.) 😀

Shizzle Off a Stick Steve

To be honest I would just ride around the piles of poo, I guess some people just like to hit it max speed and get covered, however what tyre for poo covered by wet leaves that’s induced a 10 foot life threatening power slide?

Also if there was that much poo that you couldn’t see ahead of You, maybe it’s time to look at the possibility that the turd was in fact falling out the bottom of you shorts!

Merdey Mary
Cleveland steam rollers
Nutty Normans
Defacate dans

The Mrs has contributed with shitty slickers 😀

I think we need a “what tyre for dog eggs” thread.

Shitty Sheilas – I’d buy ’em.

How about:

Scat Stevens
Brown Brians
Choddy Charlies
Corny Colins

If they were maxxis rather than schwalbes, would they be ‘skid marks’?

Turd tractions
Brown barons
Hans Dumpfs

Top marks for hans dumpfs!