Changed seals on some Marz Bombers. As I refitted uppers and pushed the stanchions through I met with some resistance but kept going. Eventually gave up and pulled stanchions back out (with some effort).

I’d put the seals in upside down, so the coil spring inside it had popped off and got caught between stanchion and bush, gouging the life out of both 😕

I still contend the instructions were wrong…

Similar to Rich_S. bought new shoes, cleats and pedals. Set them up – didn’t ride for a couple of weeks. Went for a road ride. Got to cafe stop. Can’t unclip right foot. Leave shoe on bike and walk into cafe one shoed. Set off thinking don’t clip in in case left foot gets stuck too. Ooops foots clipped in. Track standing at junc – lose balance fall over. Quite difficult to get out of shoes whilst lying on floor clipped to bike with both feet!

Bleeding the front brake on my bike,undid the nipple then went to get the bottle which I then attached to the rear caliper and squeezed the brake shooting fluid all over the shed walls.

trail_rat – were you ever in the navy “thepodge”

Yeah, I joined to sail the 7 seas and put my mind at ease

Fitted new square taper and chainset on bike and couldn’t work out why the FD couldn’t reach the big ring. Bought two cheap but shorter bottom brackets to sort out the chainline and fitted both with no joy. Only then noticed the FD was bolted on too low and was hitting the outer chainring. More haste, less speed.

Did exactly the same thing a few weeks ago OP

ratherbeintobago – Member

Not that one?

Photoshopped by my enemies.

Bought bike, rode once, put on Marathon Plus tires, made sure direction was ok, shipped overseas to new job.

Got bike, built it up, looked at front forks, disc brake was on the other side, odd I thought, checked tires, wrong direction, swapped tire around, couldn’t get to fit to bike, **** forks bent isn’t it.

Oh no, actually I’ve attached the stem with the forks on backwards, had to redo the whole thing, swap tire backaround. THen I discovered I hate Marathons anyway.

Servicing some big upside down DH forks, started filling them with expensive suspension oil before realising that the drain plug was off and it was all going onto the floor.

Must have been plenty of others with more serious consequences but that one sticks in the mind!

Cheers, Rich

Thanks chaps. Feeling a little better about my dumbassery now. 😆

Finally, a thread for me.

So many go choose from… But these three spring to mind.

Ruining the axle of my front wheel when trying to remove it to replace the bearings by guessing (incorrectly) that I had to pop an Allen key into each end of the axle and unscrew it. All I did was flare out the end of the axle meaning it was useless and no, I couldn’t get a replacement.

Cutting the integrated seat mast of a Ridley Dean TT too small, despite measuring 20 times. That still makes me feel ill.

Somehow getting my finger caught between the chain and the chainring at a speed that meant it did half a revolution before i stopped turning the cranks with the other hand. Psyching myself up to do the half revolution required to fre my bloody digit took a while.

So OP I wouldn’t worry, there’s loads more painful and expensive f**kups that you could have made!

One more for you – bought my wife a dropper post, I had about half an hour to get it fitted before she got home from work -I wanted it to be a surprise for her. It wouldn’t sit low enough in the frame because of a bend in the seat tube, so…………….I cut 50mm of the end of it. Not good.

Bought an Xtracycle/Free Radical longtail kit to convert an old rigid MTB into a killer cargo bike.

– 160 mile round trip to dealer
– Cost me about 500 with all the bags, deck, extras etc
– Booked use friend’s lawn and a free, sunny day.
– Dismantled and cleaned entire bike, stripped rear control and gear cables out in readiness for longer ones.
– Broke old chain in readiness for new longer chain.
– Laid out all the Xtracycle kit and re-read the instructions.
– Cracked open a bottle of beer and grabbed spanner to install kit.
– Realised that my donor-bike had completely incompatible dropouts. Game Over
– Threw beer, kicked bike, carefully re-packed everything and drove 80 miles to return the useless kit.
– Don’t even remember then rebuilding/re-cabling the bike, probably blanked out the memory.

Bought an Xtracycle/Free Radical longtail kit to convert an old rigid MTB into a killer cargo bike.

– 160 mile round trip to dealer
– Cost me about 500 with all the bags, deck, extras etc
– Booked use friend’s lawn and a free, sunny day.
– Dismantled and cleaned entire bike, stripped rear control and gear cables out in readiness for longer ones.
– Broke old chain in readiness for new longer chain.
– Laid out all the Xtracycle kit and re-read the instructions.
– Cracked open a bottle of beer and grabbed spanner to install kit.
– Realised that my donor-bike had completely incompatible dropouts. Game Over
– Threw beer, kicked bike, carefully re-packed everything and drove 80 miles to return the useless kit.
– Don’t even remember then rebuilding/re-cabling the bike, probably blanked out the memory.

Could not ride my bike as I forgot where I put my saddle!

Found it today so will fit in the morning before riding.

Done stupid things like can’t find the pedal washers for the SRAM crank.

Realised I need an oversized centre lock ring and none in stock for weeks during my new build.

I was fitting my Alfine onto the bike and did up the bolts before realising that the cable was trapped between the nut and the frame pretty much severing it. Lesson learned I now make sure I always attach the cable before doing up the wheel nuts.

Driving to the Quantocks for a ride. Front tyre could do with a bit more air, but I couldn’t undo the presta valve stem lock nut, not matter what I try. In the end I just have to drive home.

When I built up my Yeti Big Top, I just couldn’t stop the knocking in the headset. Terrified that I had buggered the frame when I pressed in the cups, I took the whole lot apart – only to realise I had put the bottom bearing in upside down…

rhayter – Member

When I built up my Yeti Big Top, I just couldn’t stop the knocking in the headset. Terrified that I had buggered the frame when I pressed in the cups, I took the whole lot apart – only to realise I had put the bottom bearing in upside down..

When I got my trailfox, it was absolutely <immaculate> but the steering was terrible, felt like a really overtight head bearing. So I slackened it off a little, and it knocked like a bastard. No middle ground. Opened it up- the bottom headset bearing was completely missing 😆

I did the chainring-cassette + 2 thing when installing a new chain but then forgot to actually thread it back through the mech when joining it. Thanks to being a shiny new 11 speed chain and not yet having bought quicklinks, the next morning was spent going to the shops to buy some quicklinks instead of the expected shakedown ride in the woods.

Had a team mate years ago did the same, stripped his headset down to clean it. Forgot the bearings for the bottom race. Apparently it turned smoothly in the stand……….

Whats worse is he managed to get from his flat to the start of the training ride without dying. Lots of gesticulating and flapping of hands in broken french (me) and pidgin english (him) while we tried to work out why his steering was a “bit stiff”.

Just wondering why anyone would need such a blunt tool near a bike. Unless its to try and adjust Avid Elixir brakes.

*one of the guys* (quite a bit bigger than me, so no names..) in our riding group is a joiner to trade and is famous for his use of the human torque wrench on bike parts.

The expression most used when describing him spannering is:

“up until it breaks, and back half a turn..”

Changed seals on some Marz Bombers. As I refitted uppers and pushed the stanchions through I met with some resistance but kept going. Eventually gave up and pulled stanchions back out (with some effort).

I’d put the seals in upside down, so the coil spring inside it had popped off and got caught between stanchion and bush, gouging the life out of both

I still contend the instructions were wrong…

Luckily my first attempt changing seals on my bombers was only semi unsuccessful. I put the oil seals in upside down (the instructions weren’t really clear and I never noted the orientation of the ones I’d taken out like a dumbass). Everything went back together nicely, and they were buttery smooth, however the oil all pissed out over the course of about 2 rides until I was riding with no damping. More seals bought, put in the right way up this time.

Fitted a load of new stuff (brakes, chainring, gears etc) before going to the alps and was stuck between flats and clipless pedals. Went to bed promising myself I’d get up and give it all a once-over before packing the car. Obviously I didn’t.

First ride the chainring bolts shook loose and the last one that hadn’t fallen out snapped the spider arm in order to escape. Following day the pedal I hadn’t tightened well enough stripped the thread on the crank arm. Had to buy new cranks at slightly overpriced Morzine prices.

Bike in the stand fitting new bottom bracket.
All fitted and give it a quick spin and flick it up and down the rear cassette (absolutely no need to do it) highlighted that it wasn’t shifting properly so 10 spent ages fettling, oiling, lubing, messing with rear mech screws only to figure out I had clamped the exposed rear mech cabe on the jaws of the bike stand when I clamped it on the top tube!

Read through this thread yesterday, thought ‘nothing I can really post on this’. That should have been enough to set alarms bells ringing.

Extracting some chains from a tub of Putoline this afternoon, I managed to tip the whole tin over. 😥 I imagine I will be a social outcast in my street as a result of the expletives that erupted. I even surprised myself with some of them. 2 good things about it – (a) it went away from me, so none on my clothes or shoes (b) it was in the garage, not the kitchen….

Now to clean up. I’ve left it to harden and think it will come up with a scraper, then maybe scrub the area with paraffin. Planning to melt it in another container and transfer back to the tin without the assorted rubbish off the garage floor. What could possibly go wrong?

Setting up disc brakes years ago for a trip to Wales and as I spun the wheel and moved the caliper my finger was between it and the rotor which sliced off a rather nice strip from the top of my finger , a bit like a bacon slicer. Done the original posters trick too and like every home mechanic put forks on upside down, lowers on backwards etc etc

I’ve cut brake hoses too short, frayed brand new gear cables, but most recently spent several hours over two nights trying to get my rear mech shifting nicely, ended up fitting new inner and outer cable, taking shifter to bits, re-indexing mech, you name it, all to no avail, turned out downshift lever was just bottoming out on my dropper remote before reaching full travel………

Also drove to a local wood recently to squeeze in a quick ride/trail fairy session before dark, and realised on arrival that my front axle was on the work bench in the shed at home.

Oh, and just fitted new mini V brakes to my cx/road bike only to realise my guards won’t fit when the autumn comes.

Just remembered – trip to Morzine to do the PdS. Bimbled off to Halfrauds to obtain a bike box rather than buy a bike bag.

“No problem” they said and I went home with a bike box.

Stripped bike down for its journey and packing everything into the box was a bit of a chore. Making sure it all went in took about 4 hours in total. “Never mind” says I, “these Taiwanese are very clever fitting their bikes into these boxes”.

Anyway, arrived in Geneva and everyone collects their bags/boxes. Turns out mine was some sort of kid’s bike size box (24″) and I’d somehow squeezed a Dialled Alpine into it. I was actually quite impressed with myself right up until halfway through the first day when it turned out I’d knackered a finger and couldn’t ride it. And then had to repack the frigging thing into the world’s smallest bike box.